28, no kids, almost divorced...re-locate? (rent, crime, how much)

28andrelocate · 05-25-2012, 10:44 AM

Hi,

I'm 28 yrs. old and living in New England. I have a BA in English. I'm going through a difficult separation (spouse wants divorce, but I don't). We do not have children. We own a house, and he is "buying me out". I have to move. My question is if I should move out of state, or just to a new part of the city.

I have 2 jobs right now, both very low paying (under $11 an hour each). I work at schools, and I'm not paid over the summer...It may be good to move for my mental health, as everything here reminds me of my ex. However, I'm terrified to move b.c I don't have a job elsewhere, and let's face it, a BA in English isn't too career savvy. Something is telling me I really need to be in a larger city for better job opportunities, but I don't know where. I have family in Philly, but I'm unsure about moving there- I don't really have a "life"established there.... it's so hard to start all over and move out of state

The thought of trading in my license plate for something else makes me really said, but I don't know if I can survive here as a newly single person with no family around. Plus, I want to go back to school (for teaching) for colleges here are way too expensive...

Thoughts?

joe moving · 05-25-2012, 02:14 PM

that sucks, sorry to hear it. It sounds like you sort of like it here but are torn. do you have friends... are you going to get a roommate?

Think you need to figure out some things. are you going to work or go to school. i dont think you're going to school and living on $11/hour.

i think you COULD get by on 11/hour with a roommate (probably not without one) and then figure things out.

assuming you are in burlington?

BickleTravis · 05-25-2012, 08:32 PM

28? Single? No reason to stay unless you like making $11 and having 22 year old roommates.

sfchick · 05-26-2012, 08:28 AM

Philly is a great city. I would try to stay with family for the summer and look for work/housing. Sounds like you need a change of scenery. Life is too short to be unhappy. I've considered moving to Philly in the past- great art, music, food & culture. I bet you would find more work op too. More entry level positions where your English degree would be an asset.

28andrelocate · 05-26-2012, 11:51 AM

I don't really have friends here, either (except for work people). Since my jobs pay so terribly, I have very little disposable income to go out and do things. I'm really overwhelmed at the thought of moving, but at the same time, it's extremely difficult emotionally for me to be here, with all of the memories. I don't know if I can "rebuild" a life here.
It sort of makes me feel like a child moving to the city where my parents/brother are, like I cant deal with life as an adult. However,I would not be living with them. And I'm really lonely here and feeling very depressed.

tkln · 05-26-2012, 01:30 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.

It really seems like going to Philly would be a better option for you. With your low pay and lack of a network here, at least you can lean on your family in Philly. And I would imagine the job situation would be better there, as well as a larger population to make more friends, and to rebuild your life.

You shouldn't be ashamed about going back to your hometown...many adults end up having issues and dealing with crisis and leaning on others for support, whether through divorce, career changes, etc. It doesn't mean you are a failure, it just means one chapter of your life is coming to an end. It's up to you to start writing the next chapter and creating a new life for yourself where you will be happy!

nitelifeguyVT · 05-27-2012, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 28andrelocate

Hi,

I'm 28 yrs. old and living in Vermont. I have a BA in English. I'm going through a difficult separation (spouse wants divorce, but I don't). We do not have children. We own a house, and he is "buying me out". I have to move. My question is if I should move out of state, or just to a new part of the city.

I have 2 jobs right now, both very low paying (under $11 an hour each). I work at schools, and I'm not paid over the summer...It may be good to move for my mental health, as everything here reminds me of my ex. However, I'm terrified to move b.c I don't have a job elsewhere, and let's face it, a BA in English isn't too career savvy (or at least it hasn't been in VT). Something is telling me I really need to be in a larger city for better job opportunities, but I don't know where. I have family in Philly, but I'm unsure about moving there- I don't really have a "life"established there.... it's so hard to start all over and move out of state, but I'm really unsure about VT...

The thought of trading in my VT license plate for something else makes me really said, but I don't know if I can survive here as a newly single person with no family around. Plus, I want to go back to school (for teaching) for colleges here are way too expensive...

Thoughts?

Yeah seems to be the norm here in VT with most of the jobs these days in the $9-$11 hr range. Depending on where you live in the state it's between barely surviving or just paying for essentials on a week-to-week basis. I moved here from the North Jersey area 9 years ago and lived in Philly for 3 years before that, as my wife grew up there and has family as well from the region. We are in our early 40's and considering moving back that way for economic reasons too but not to live in the city. I lived in the Northeast part of the city when my daughter was born and it was a bit rough then and from what I've heard from in-law relatives who live in the suburbs that it's gotten worse since we left. Some neighborhoods are war zones especially during the summer. I left so my child didn't have to experience the crime and the inner city schools but since you don't have children it's probably not a deal breaker for you. The suburbs are better but pricey. My stepson is paying $1000/ mo for a two bedroom in Bucks County and that is on the lower end of the rent scales (they can go as much as $1700-$2000) but it's quiet and safe for the most part.

Since you have no children to worry about there's a good chance it would be a good transition at least to pursue better job opportunities because in VT there are very few prospects and more and more businesses are closing every week.

Good Luck..

ja1myn · 05-27-2012, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 28andrelocate

Hi,

I'm 28 yrs. old and living in Vermont. I have a BA in English. I'm going through a difficult separation (spouse wants divorce, but I don't). We do not have children. We own a house, and he is "buying me out". I have to move. My question is if I should move out of state, or just to a new part of the city.

I have 2 jobs right now, both very low paying (under $11 an hour each). I work at schools, and I'm not paid over the summer...It may be good to move for my mental health, as everything here reminds me of my ex. However, I'm terrified to move b.c I don't have a job elsewhere, and let's face it, a BA in English isn't too career savvy (or at least it hasn't been in VT). Something is telling me I really need to be in a larger city for better job opportunities, but I don't know where. I have family in Philly, but I'm unsure about moving there- I don't really have a "life"established there.... it's so hard to start all over and move out of state, but I'm really unsure about VT...

The thought of trading in my VT license plate for something else makes me really said, but I don't know if I can survive here as a newly single person with no family around. Plus, I want to go back to school (for teaching) for colleges here are way too expensive...

Thoughts?

Move! Vermont is NOT the place to be if you're young and single. Figure out where you want to go to college and be a college student all over again! How much more fun does it get? Work hard and everything will fall into place.

Louise222 · 05-28-2012, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ja1myn

Move! Vermont is NOT the place to be if you're young and single. Figure out where you want to go to college and be a college student all over again! How much more fun does it get? Work hard and everything will fall into place.

I completely agree with this. I am a HUGE fan of VT, but I would not want to move back there if I wasn't already in a serious relationship.

28andrelocate · 05-28-2012, 11:42 AM

He is coming home today after being away for a couple weeks. Got the coldest text about business stuff and how he wants the master bedroom, etc. My answer came...
I've got to get the out of here asap. I may even quit my jobs earlier than planned. Too painful here...I feel like I'm being impulsive by moving, and I'm scared. But this situation has become more painful than I can handle.