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Old 11-07-2007, 08:18 PM
 
100 posts, read 351,849 times
Reputation: 48

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You certainly must visit before deciding.

I personally found Lyndonville/St Johnsbury to be way too rural for me, like it much better in the southern part of the state. And although folks seemed friendly enough I found that people I saw regularly did NOT go out of their way to invite me over for tea or to make me feel welcome as the new one in town far from home. But everyone's experience in a new area is different.

Go visit, stay for a week or two to get a better sense if the area is for you. May be just what you were looking for.

Keep in mind that that section of VT is much colder/snowier than the rest of the state. Although beautiful to visit, I couldn't wait to get out of their when our 6 month job was over.
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Old 11-11-2007, 06:26 PM
 
8 posts, read 43,702 times
Reputation: 11
The fall is spectaluar in St. J! The surrounding hills explode with color as far as the eye can see. The people are friendly and the downtown is walkable and has some great restaurants. I only lived there for a summer, but I loved it!
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Old 01-22-2009, 04:43 AM
 
4 posts, read 13,105 times
Reputation: 13
Default Could a GWM from small-town MS be accepted in St. Johnsbury?

I am making plans to move away from MS and I hope to be gone within six months. After extensive research I've decided on Vermont. The main reason I am moving from MS is that it is almost impossible to be openly gay in MS. Before I visited Vermont for the first time in 2001 I had read on the internet that VT is one of most gay-friendly states. I am currently single (but I am certainly open to a relationship) and I tend to live a very quiet life. By my comment about openly gay in MS I meant that if someone thinks, suspects or knows you are gay they will try to 'convert' you. I accepted who I am a few years ago thinking that would make my life better. If anything, it's worse. My family wants me to stay in the closet and two of my best friends basically just cut me off. One is a female and one a male. The guy told a mutual friend that he can't be my friend anymore because people might think he's gay. And he is! He just refuses to accept it and continues to live in denial of who he is. I've been friends with the female for 38 years and after I told her I had accepted my orientation I sensed she began to pull away immediately. So, my questions are (sorry for the rambling): Even if I am accepted by small-town VT as a 40 something GWM, will I be ostracized for being a southerner? I'm a shy, kind of quiet guy but I will say I am very outgoing with those who befriend me. I plan on moving to a town between 5-10,000 and establishing a permanent residence. I want to get involved in the community in several ways such as church, volunteer work, etc. I've read that St. Johnsbury has a gay social group. I was shocked. MS doesn't even have something like that in cities of 25,000 or more. I just want to live somewhere that I won't feel uncomfortable to the point of having a panic attack when someone asks, "Why are you married at your age?" or "If you don't get married people are going to start thinking you're a *****." See what I mean? This has happened so many times over the years that I can't count it. If anyone has any advice, thoughts or comments I would appreciate it. Thanks so much.
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Old 01-22-2009, 07:29 AM
 
Location: Rutland, VT
1,822 posts, read 4,520,799 times
Reputation: 772
Quote:
Originally Posted by too long in mississippi View Post
I just want to live somewhere that I won't feel uncomfortable to the point of having a panic attack when someone asks, "Why are you married at your age?" or "If you don't get married people are going to start thinking you're a *****." See what I mean? This has happened so many times over the years that I can't count it. If anyone has any advice, thoughts or comments I would appreciate it. Thanks so much.
I'm so sorry about the hurt and intolerance you've experienced among people you care about. Culturally embedded homophobia, along with enculturated racism and other forms of oppression, can be difficult for people even to recognize in themselves, much less to change.

I can only speak as a heterosexual ally to the LGBT community, but it seems to me that Vermont is one of the gay-friendlier places I've been. There is still homophobia, no doubt, but in terms of daily life, my LGBT friends and colleagues tell me that Vermonters are generally live-and-let-live with their non-heterosexual neighbors and coworkers. Their views on gay issues may be less accepting, depending on where you are in the state, but I believe that individuals tend to be accepted and not suspected or questioned in the ways you mentioned.

Here are a couple of resources for you to explore:


RU12? Community Center for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and ***** Vermont

Home | Vermont Gay Guide


P.S. I'm adding this comment after seeing that these forums asterisked out the word "Qu
r" in RU12?'s name. I'm guessing (hoping) that it's because City-Data masks words that could be perceived as offensive, not to avoid the concept of qurness. This is an example of a community reclaiming a word that has been used derogatorily for decades.

Even though I work full-time in a gay advocacy organization and regularly hear the word
qur used as simple self-description, I've still asked several times if it's really okay for me, a heterosexual, to use it. As with most evolving issues, it depends whom you ask.

Last edited by Sherylcatmom; 01-22-2009 at 07:38 AM..
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Old 01-22-2009, 03:47 PM
 
4 posts, read 13,105 times
Reputation: 13
Default Cheryl, your response was a great addition to my day...

Cheryl (or Ms. catmom, lol) thanks so much for the kind words and the links. It really makes me feel better to know that there is a state I could live; and know that there are at least a few people who won't automatically think I'm the same as a drug dealer or ax-murderer. I can't wait to check out the links and your response made me realize even more that I am doing the right thing. Thanks again!
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Old 01-25-2009, 10:50 PM
 
Location: Midwest
4,212 posts, read 7,111,142 times
Reputation: 7032
Quote:
Originally Posted by Radiojoe315 View Post
I am not sure if you have gotten up to visit the area. But I would HIGHLY recommend it if you haven't.

Just to give you an idea.. Our stories and paths are quite similar, minus the age difference. I won't bore you with details, but I can hopefully compare the area to what your used to. I am from Toms River, NJ. Born and raised. (I am 17, and a HS Senior) Last year my parents, decided to move to Clayton, NC. Turns out my parents were miserable there as was I. I didn't like the HS there. My parents had a very difficult time finding work. And thus we left within 5 months. Moved back to Jersey and are happy to be back.

Now onto my thoughts about Vermont.. I began the college search last year and fell in love with Lyndon State College. They have EVERYTHING I could want as a TV Major. Their Broadcast News program is TOP NOTCH. Lyndonville is the next town over from St. Johnsbury. And I was most concerned heading up there about the rural factor. But I will be honest with you. It's QUAINT. I LOVED it. It's not TOO rural really. The downtown is REALLY nice. Everything you pretty much need is there. And you can take a ride to whatever else you could want. Littleton, NH has a lot to offer and its only a 20 minute ride. The people were EXCEPTIONALLY friendly. After living in NC, I found them to be 10 times more friendly than when I first arrived there.

I was REALLY excited about the area. And can say.. I Think I'll be up there next year. Good Luck!!
off topic: Toms River, isn't where/near The Tracker, Tom Brown, has his school?
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