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Old 07-06-2013, 08:11 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,980 times
Reputation: 26

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I'm sorry but I would kill to find a job in Vermont and move the heck out of Connecticut. I love the quiet and the quaint. I don't need others to do things with. I am my own individual and I would find my own fun. I found people in Vermont to be so friendly and polite. I love Vermont and it's people. I love Brattleboro exactly for those reasons. I find it to be exciting, eclectic, artisan, etc. I am still looking and if I find that job, I am moving. I would never get bored and I would never look back. When I visit I get depressed when I realize I have to return back home to crazy Connecticut with its rude and nasty people.
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Old 07-07-2013, 07:22 AM
 
34,239 posts, read 41,268,949 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sadhere View Post
I recently moved to Vermont this past February with my boyfriend at the time (now husband) to the small village of Putney as he relocated for a new job in Bellows Falls. We had looked in Brattleboro for places to rent but most of everything we saw had negative elements. Then we saw the house in Putney and I loved it in comparison to what we viewed before. The only thing was that I was skeptical of the area as a place to live. This isn't really a town...just general store and some other stuff. Yes it's picturesque and a nice place to visit but living here could be chancy. We decided to do it though and now I very much regret it. I haven't had a car so that hasn't helped so I've been stuck here. I think this place is dreadfully boring and gets old fast. I plan to get a car soon but even so I'm not sure if will even help transform my feeling for Vermont in general now. Brattleboro is not far away and yes it has a hell of a lot more then putney but when I go there or any other place now in the surrounding area I don't get a great feeling. Everything here feels the same. I hate being far from the beach also as before I had lived in places closer to the water. I also grew up in California so I like the west better. I'm not really into the culture here as that gets old too....the earthy crunchy granola Eco friendly yoga obsessed crowd. The people here look like clones of each other. There's also a element of stiffness and standoffish characteristics among the people especially here in putney. Basically it you don't fit their mold then you don't fit in. Hell the general store owner recently sold his businesses as he thought the people werent nice and he didn't feel welcomed. And another thing the weather sucks. I hate the cold and the warmer season so far hasn't been much better. It's still chilly here overall even as we speak. Some days are better but it keeps going back to 60's and even 30/40's during night.

So in short I hate it here now and wish I wasn't here. But we can't move from the area as he needs the job and I'm pregnant. I wish I could like it here....I never thought I would feel as I do now about this area. But I feel such dread here as its suffocating and isolated/ remote. It's strange because I have grandparents who live in Sherman ct in a country home and I love it up there but can't get same feeling here.

It seems there are only limited options now. To move to Brattleboro or Keene or a place like which isn't too far away from his job in bellows falls. I did like Keene more...it felt different than Vermont and I liked the coffee hangout there. I'm wondering though if that town would get old though after a while.

I want to be in a laid back place that isn't isolated and has things to do and is close to a nice large lake. Friendly people is important.

any suggestions? Is Keene a good alternative?

Does your hubby know you feel this way? and if so what has he suggested to remedy the situation? as living in the h ell you describe will make for one miserable life that will ultimately have you leaving whether hubby comes along or not.
Best option would be stay put for now till the baby has arrived then you and the hubby start planning on alternatives,or if he flat out doesnt want to move your options are rather obvious.
I very much doubt this is entirely about location and is probably more about circumstance of your life at the moment so i dont think moving to Brattleboro or Keene is going to solve your long range problems..
However on second thought after looking on Google maps at Putney VT i can see where you might get a bit bored as it looks to be a real nothing place in the middle of nowhere..
I now think we got a serious case of cabin fever..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabin_fever

Last edited by jambo101; 07-07-2013 at 07:38 AM..
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Old 07-11-2013, 10:46 AM
 
81 posts, read 97,680 times
Reputation: 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by roldan63 View Post
I'm sorry but I would kill to find a job in Vermont and move the heck out of Connecticut. I love the quiet and the quaint. I don't need others to do things with. I am my own individual and I would find my own fun. I found people in Vermont to be so friendly and polite. I love Vermont and it's people. I love Brattleboro exactly for those reasons. I find it to be exciting, eclectic, artisan, etc. I am still looking and if I find that job, I am moving. I would never get bored and I would never look back. When I visit I get depressed when I realize I have to return back home to crazy Connecticut with its rude and nasty people.
I'm sorry but I don't feel that way about Vermont. And by the way there are "quiet and quaint" areas in ct. And whats the purpose of your post exactly.....to make me feel bad because I feel the opposite? Yes you belong in Vermont. Or maybe you'll realize if you move here, it won't be the same happy feeling as visiting.
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Old 07-11-2013, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Vermont
1,008 posts, read 1,411,509 times
Reputation: 1951
Then again, I've seen sad people at Disneyworld! The happiest place on earth.
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Old 07-11-2013, 03:44 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 92,025,684 times
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I'm inspired to share something because jambo implied you should leave your husband if he refuses to move to make you happy.

My mother followed my father all over the world with his corporate transfers. Some of the relocations were extremely difficult for her. She felt most isolated when we lived in foreign countries because she couldn't even communicate with anyone.

Even though my mother had difficult times, she made the best of every place we lived. Moving around and overcoming these challenges made her a stronger person. She became more confident and happy because she learned how to not let the environment dictate her world. I'm glad she didn't leave my father. It would have been very selfish of her to break up our family if she had.

When you marry someone and intend to follow their professional career instead of having your own, you're living a life very similar to military wives except you don't have the social structure the military offers dependents for socializing. It is a challenge but it's a commitment you make as a couple. Marriage truly is for better and worse, richer and poorer. It's not about me, me, me. It's about being a team. Through difficult lonely times like this, you focus on your team as if it's the two of you against the world.

If you don't have that mentality together, you have a marriage problem that needs some work, not an environment problem. By having children, you don't get the option of being selfish anymore. Well, you do have the option but it's not a wise option as a parent. You're about to enter into a part of your marriage that is a commitment for the long haul. It takes over 20 years to fully raise a child. If you're in your late 20s, you'll almost be 50 when you're done with that job. That's what it's super important to pull yourself together and focus on building your family a strong foundation. You can overcome this and have an amazing life. Even if you're in Vermont for 5 years, its just a very small temporary part of your life together. Focus on the big picture. See the forest instead of the trees.
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Old 07-12-2013, 11:50 AM
 
1,135 posts, read 1,835,275 times
Reputation: 1571
Sadhere, I so want to just come pick you up, let you stay with us a weekend and give you a different perspective! It is sooo hard transitioning from "civilization" to Northern New England. Today is my 16 year anniversary and we have the most perfect day and I went to work from 7-9 and left cuz it's just too nice out. Quite a few things you can get away with up here. My daughter, who is 22 and isn't crazy about her friends saddled w/babies had 2 friends w/3 itty bitty kids come to spend the day at the lake. Despite that, my kid is thrilled since the kids love her. You see, we get to DO THAT here. Besides I have a rather contagious exuberant personality.....and that can be contagious!

Maybe talk to more people that aren't local/stuck here and are here by choice. Negativity is contagious. But, chin up chicky! There's a reason you're here and look for the best or otherwise you'll only get the worst. And that's Mom talk.
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Old 04-21-2014, 09:53 PM
 
75 posts, read 125,077 times
Reputation: 43
This place has made me extremely depressed for years! I hate it here but I am stuck with there being no jobs and housing is more expensive here than it is in Seattle!
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Old 04-22-2014, 05:59 AM
 
35,325 posts, read 24,998,888 times
Reputation: 32369
Places don't make people depressed. Depression is an internal mental state.

But if things aren't going well... we have 50 states. I've lived in 6 and more than once when opportunities didn't exist where I lived I packed my car... or twice when I didn't have a car I packed a duffle bag and bought a bus ticket and went.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:05 AM
 
809 posts, read 672,796 times
Reputation: 1332
Sadhere, don't count on a move to improve your state of mind. You could be just as miserable in Huntington Beach as in Keene or Putney.

Instead, consider making your own world. You're pregnant. Are you connected with the WIC program? Not only will it give you lots of information useful about planning to nurture your child, the will be happy to connect you with a whole lot of other women who are having and raising theirs. Go to the library, tell them you're pregnant and that you'd like to know what's available for pg women in the area. You'll acquire a sense of being useful in the community as you connect with them, and you'll develop a sense of belonging. You can introduce them to activities which will help them move from the granola/contradance level of function, and they'll introduce you to activities surfers have never known-- like snowshoeing (okay, you don't have to like it) and book discussion groups. And if you happen to come across a service or line of goods that would be of benefit to other women, start peddling it. And get into the PTA. Just tell them you like to act in anticipation. They REALLY need your help!

When I moved to Vermont with my child, doing these sorts of parent-oriented things helped me keep a grip during the years of transition to a different culture.
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Old 04-23-2014, 02:38 PM
 
5,617 posts, read 13,732,595 times
Reputation: 2774
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sadhere View Post
Well I'm glad there is at least some people out there like you who feel similar. I feel like I'm going crazy here. I haven't been to Burlington but it probably is better than boring putney. And unfortunately it isn't an option now because of my significant other. I swear I think Vermont and this general area is for a very specific group of people- ones who can't get enough of outdoor country activities, gardening, Eco friendly, co-ops, yoga, spinning, making maple syrup, swimming in 40 degree river water holes, freezing temperatures, yoga etc. Ugh it all gets old after a while. And yes the irony is that most of these people aren't even from Vermont. Sorry to go on a rant here....I'm just sick of hearing (from others) how wonderful Vermont is. Yes I'm sure it's a nice place to visit from time to time but that doesn't mean you want to live here permanently. Just because one enjoys the view of an old historic barn, doesn't mean living by one will complete your life.

Anyway I came on here to see if others agreed and if Keene for instance could be a better alternative. I didn't really get an answer on Keene.


My problem is when I moved into a rural area like Vermont, leaving the NYC metro area I was lacking the visual stimulation. I also felt like there was not enough choices. Did you ever see the movie THE SHINING? Well basically I cracked up and moved back to the NYC metro area. I get it!
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