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Old 12-25-2007, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Vermont
1,475 posts, read 3,663,093 times
Reputation: 824

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Quote:
Originally Posted by arel View Post
It's not a matter of political correctness. It's a matter of simple justice and courtesy, of treating others with respect and not talking down to them because you think they are inferior to you.
I just take the names literally. They're terms of endearment.
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Old 12-25-2007, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Vermont
1,442 posts, read 5,896,771 times
Reputation: 450
Quote:
Originally Posted by quickdraw View Post
I just take the names literally. They're terms of endearment.
I don't want to get into an argument here, but I do want to reiterate what I said in a previous post.

It is inappropriate to use endearments in business situations. Endearments are for family members, children, lovers, pets, etc. They are not for people in business situations. They are not for people you don't know. To use "endearments" in inapproprate contexts is presuming an intimacy that is not there. It is like an invasion of personal space. It is intrusive. Intrusion is violation. Violation is, to put it mildly, discourteous.

I don't want to be too polemical about this, but I feel strongly about it. And I strongly doubt that I am alone in this.

Words are powerful, and they come with unspoken connotations.
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Old 12-25-2007, 08:03 PM
 
Location: hinesburg, vt
1,574 posts, read 4,414,460 times
Reputation: 395
I guess I just developed some thick callouses many years ago from basic training and other life experiences and I don't mean just on my feet
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Old 12-25-2007, 10:14 PM
 
Location: on a dirt road in Waitsfield,Vermont
2,186 posts, read 5,979,368 times
Reputation: 1125
I feel that in Vermont or other rural places when someone whether it's the lady at the checkout at the local grocery store or the waitress at a local diner call me and everyone else "hon" I take it as the rural more friendly version of "sir" or "ma'am" and do not believe that they come with any unspoken connotations whatsoever.

I think the diference is simply one's personal perspective as how they are received and percieved.
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Old 12-26-2007, 04:47 AM
 
Location: Vermont
1,442 posts, read 5,896,771 times
Reputation: 450
Well, I think it's a matter of who says it, the tone in which it is said, and, sometimes, the context. When a check-out person says it to everyone, male or female, without a condescending tone, that is one thing.

When a male says it to a female, in a condescending tone, and then speaks in a respectful tone to a male who walks in, that is something else entirely.

A fundamental aspect of courtesy is respect for the humanity of the person you are speaking to. If you speak in a way that demeans, that is not courtesy.

I knew this issue would be controversial. I really thought twice before I submitted my initial post on it.

But it does illustrate how some social forces can be "deniable", to use the word I think the Reagan administration used in their planning of Iran Contra.

Last edited by arel; 12-26-2007 at 06:12 AM..
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Old 12-26-2007, 05:30 AM
 
Location: Rutland, VT
1,822 posts, read 4,520,092 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arel View Post
BTW, why is Rutland called "Rutvegas"?
LOL! I'm not entirely sure but I'll give some guesses. At one time years ago, Rutland had the dubious distinction of having more bars per capita than any other U.S. city. We've fallen from that former glory (which, actually, I missed by being elsewhere at the time) but there are still lots of dumpy little bars.

Also, even though the restaurant selection is improving and we have increasingly rich cultural activities -- including a fully-restored Vaudeville-style theatre (www.paramountvt.org) where a colleague of mine is producing The Vagina Monologues this February -- I suspect that "RutVegas" is kind of a riff on there being nothing much to do here.
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Old 12-26-2007, 06:11 AM
 
Location: Vermont
1,442 posts, read 5,896,771 times
Reputation: 450
Thanks for your answer. So many posts on this forum bash Rutland, but, from your posts, I gather that you enjoy living there.
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Old 12-26-2007, 06:33 AM
 
Location: Rutland, VT
1,822 posts, read 4,520,092 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arel View Post
Thanks for your answer. So many posts on this forum bash Rutland, but, from your posts, I gather that you enjoy living there.
I've lived in way worse places that, at first blush, seemed to offer far more amenities. Rutland has treated us pretty well. And for me, it's an easy place to live. Very few hassles and enough of what I do want to make it fun.
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Old 12-26-2007, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Vermont
1,442 posts, read 5,896,771 times
Reputation: 450
I'm partial to Brattleboro right now. It isn't as beautiful as places farther north, but it is pretty enough and there is lots to do there. Plus, it is fairly close to other places I want to be near to, such as the Pioneer Valley, southern Rhode Island, NYC and southern Maine.
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Old 12-26-2007, 07:51 AM
 
Location: Rutland, VT
1,822 posts, read 4,520,092 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arel View Post
I'm partial to Brattleboro right now. It isn't as beautiful as places farther north, but it is pretty enough and there is lots to do there. Plus, it is fairly close to other places I want to be near to, such as the Pioneer Valley, southern Rhode Island, NYC and southern Maine.
Those are all pluses about Brat, no doubt. If I were moving south in Vermont, I would probably also look at Putney, just a few miles up the road from Brat. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but it's a small town with a lot of character and a fabulous co-op with a little cafe.
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