[1luvvt]

Okay, the big question that's been eating me up for years.Why should I stay in NJ? I was born here and to tell you the truth I can't find the NJ I grew up in. I lived 34 years of my life in NJ(i'm 39) and 80 percent of that in the Ventnor/Margate area(the beach, very touristy). Growing up there was the best and I wish the place was as good, so I could raise my kids there.I now live in central NJ and though the schools are great the high school sucks(5 towns about 2500 kids). My taxes went from 2.02 to 3.67(started at 4300/yr & now are 6400) in 5 years and I still pay the lowest in the state.I really don't care who is in the state house, they are all crooks, and just as bad through-out the country, so that's not an issue.I built my house myself and saved 125 dollars a sqft doing so. I work in aviation and have also served in the airforce for 12 years.I will be keeping my job.I only work two 20hr days.gas will be more and the miles will double per yr. I have been all over the country and world. This has always been home till I went to vermont. I now own a house on a lake in VT and just can't see staying in NJ any longer.I have three kids, ages 11, 8, and 7.i did a pro and con list and it is about even. i know nj will be a great place to visit.i really want whats best for my kids.i worry everytime my son goes 2 blocks to his friends.We both feel like we found our place on earth when we are in vt. We keep asking each other is it just because we are visiting or is it real. no real way to know until we go. The kids really don't have or aren't shareing thier feelings either way. the 11 year old would only care if i let him play video games all day(witch will never happen). cost of living seems almost the same when all things are added up.the schools seem ok and with class sizes of 14 to 1 and 500 total kids in the whole high school i think that might be good.anyone who has info on fair haven union high school please let me know.(exp. class sizes, type of classes,(do they have gifted or enrichment?)) the wife keeps saying lets go but i'm the cautious one. What I am asking is why should we stay in NJ?
Thanks for listening to my boring problem.Any info pro or con gratelly appreciated.

[Sherylcatmom]

Originally Posted by 1luvvt

Okay, the big question that's been eating me up for years.Why should I stay in NJ? <snip> What I am asking is why should we stay in NJ?

I'm a native of Miami Beach. My parents even grew up there. The only reason for me to have stayed was to be near family. I love my family, but it just wasn't enough. I dislike the tropical climate, the rampant development makes me feel ill, and I like hilly, low-population places.

You sound a bit like I did before I left Florida. I could make all the pro/con lists I wanted, but I couldn't tell where I'd be happy living until I lived there. I knew I was unhappy living in Florida, but I couldn't be certain that relocating, even to the place that most attracted me, would suit me. In my case, it worked. I moved to NH in 1988 and to VT in 1996. I don't even like visiting Florida now, and I have no desire whatsoever to live there ever again. I see myself staying in Vermont for the rest of my life. Vermont feels like home to me.

My husband already lived in Vermont when we met. He is from Connecticut and has been here over 30 years. Like me, he is feeling good about staying in Vermont for the rest of our lives. His children are young adults. I have no human children (they're feline) so moving was a decision I made for myself, not for other people. However, if I was parenting human children, I know I'd rather raise them in Vermont than in South Florida. Sounds like you're feeling similarly about NJ.

Still, as I'll keep saying, there's no way to know until you do it. And it's a big, big change! Even the most positive change is hugely stressful and turns life topsy-turvy for a time.

All I know is, I'm glad I did it. Maybe you'd be, too.

[quickdraw]

Originally Posted by 1luvvt

I was born here and to tell you the truth I can't find the NJ I grew up in.

Change NJ to Vermont and you'll sound like every native Vermonter.

Originally Posted by 1luvvt

I really don't care who is in the state house, they are all crooks

OK. Now I know you are from Vermont. You've worked on my furnace, sold me wood, and fixed my plumbing.

Originally Posted by 1luvvt

We both feel like we found our place on earth when we are in vt.

uh,oh



Seriously we can't tell you if you'd be happy here or not. Some people can take change and some can't. I can tell you that if you move here, you'll lose some problems and gain a few different ones. Your idylic view of Vermont will take a hit because the bar is probably set too high. Many of us, including myself, have done this. And finally, you'll realize that New Jersey had a lot to offer.

Some time, probably in the winter, you'll get your first "welcome to Vermont moment" - picture opening a present and having a boxing glove hit you.

I lived in Chicago and tired of the hassle. My neighbors did too. I moved to Vermont and love it, although I was whipped into shape a bit. Most of my Chicago neighbors wouldn't make it here and would probably head back to the old neighborhood with their tails between their legs.

[Sherylcatmom]

We knew a couple in their 20s who lived in Vermont for several years. They worked in the hospitality industry in Killington. They got married in Vermont. Then they wanted to have kids. Both their families are in NJ. The kinds of jobs they had in VT would not work well for the young family. So they went back to NJ, had two kids, and are living happily ever after or something like that.

Vermont was their early-adulthood playground. Their jobs were not the kind they would want to keep for many years. For them, NJ offered a rootedness they lacked in VT because of their ages, families, and work skills.

I am not saying this story applies to you. It doesn't sound as though it does. I just wanted to offer why some people might move from NJ to VT then back to NJ. As I said, I'm from Florida and I am not leaving Vermont as far as I know. And my husband certainly is not going back to Connecticut.

[1luvvt]

thanks for the info. i think one of the biggest factors is going to be the schools. i have to contact them and see what kind of classes they have and if it will be good for my kids. my son loves school and does very well in nj. i don't want to move and cause that to change. i am not really looking for others to make up my mind just some ideas or issues maybe i am over looking. thanks for every thing sherylcatmom, you are always good at answering peoples questions. we visit all year and go to rutland every visit. we are in bomoseen near lakehouse resturant. i really love vt so far in every season.if i move it will be an adjustment, i hope a good one.

[flu189]

Quickdraw, your boxing glove comment almost put my keyboard out of commission as I nearly spilled a full drink onto it. To the gentleman from NJ, I know exactly where you are coming from. The only advice I can give is not to let emotion and desire cloud reason and pragmatism. Vermont sure does have some wonderful aspects and for some from the first day of their arrival life is bliss. Spend some time reading and researching. Everyone's situation is different, but do make sure that you really understand the changes and associated costs for the long term before making the leap. We have been here coming on three years, but have come to the realization that life here for the long term is just not financially the responsible way to go. To be honest, the stuff I really like to do here I was able to take part of to a greater degree when I visited versus now living here. Both my sons, in their twenties who also like it here, but know that they can't make it here, also are researching other options. Anyway, best of luck and feel free to ask questions. You might, or might not like the responses, but somewhere in the middle of it all lies the truth.

[Sherylcatmom]

Originally Posted by 1luvvt

we are in bomoseen near lakehouse resturant.

My husband played gigs there all summer. Did you get to enjoy the music?

[1luvvt]

Originally Posted by Sherylcatmom

My husband played gigs there all summer. Did you get to enjoy the music?

we would sit on our dock and listen while the girls would fish for sunnies. good time-good music.the owers are very nice ,as are all our neighbors.

[mishigas73]

So, why are you staying in Jersey? It seems, from what you have said here, that Vermont is the place for your family. So, what's the deal?

(Oh, and Bomoseen.....I spent 9 summers of my life on Lake Fairlee....)

Anywho....

It sounds like you're looking for reasons to stay in Jersey. Frankly, if you have the option, I think you're a fool for even considering staying....What's the big attraction with Jersey? Come on, you can tell us. What's keeping you there, if you have other, more appealing options?

[1luvvt]

here's something interesting, of all the friends i had growing up i am the only one still living in nj.you would have thought they would have told me sooner.