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Old 11-24-2008, 08:49 AM
 
Location: ♥State of the heart♥
1,118 posts, read 4,378,371 times
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We know a very nice and sociable couple in their 60's who moved to Stowe with high hopes for creating a life there. Their home is now for sale because after 3 years, they haven't made many friends to socialize with. They told us that locals tend to stick to their established groups, and while people are friendly, they don't really invite new people or accept their invitations to socialize. I do not know if they go to church or volunteer anywhere to meet people.

My DH wants to live in Vermont like crazy, but that aspect (if true) scares me. We know nice people there (we have a vacation condo), but does it only go so far?

I love meeting people and having a good time. Our kids are college age (we're 50's), so I won't meet people through their school like we usually do. I thought I'd make friends between volunteering at the animal shelter, finding a job of some kind, going to church and joining local groups.

My idea is to live in our condo while all the kids are in college next fall, give it a year to get something started ~ see if we're on the right track or not. I'll have to see if it's a good idea to commit 100% or not. I have no interest in being a hermit on the mountaintop!

Would you share your insight and experiences? THANKS!
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Old 11-24-2008, 09:01 AM
 
6,764 posts, read 19,771,112 times
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Nope.

I think part of the reason I have not made friends is that I am very busy just trying to establish a life and get a job. I am the mother of one ten year old, we have one car and my husband works nights. My free time w/out hubby, kid or dog is very limited.

My husband is not very outgoing, while I am. We only go out as a family. I keep trying to find somewhere to volunteer (hoping to network and make friends as well) but I haven't had much luck.

When I worked I became friendly with several ladies in my office (lunch daily) but we never socialized outside of work.

I think people are friendly if you have the time to join clubs or go to social events--(ideally if you are single or young, or without kids to keep you busy).

Keep in mind, many New Englanders are 'keep to themselves' folks. However, you will find lots of people from other states and I am sure you will make friends if you can join things or find common interests.

I may join the local Universal Unitarians to meet people and feel like I belong here. I don't want to spend the rest of my life 300 miles from my extended family and not have anyone apart from my son (who will grow up and have his own life) or my homebody husband. I get so bored and frustrated about this sometimes.

I never had much luck (once married) making friends in NY, either.

When I was single and in college I had a ton of friends. Go figure??
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Old 11-24-2008, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Vermont
3,331 posts, read 8,789,196 times
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I was born and raised here, so can't answer your specific question, but can make an observation. Stowe, like many resort communities, has a fairly high "transient" population. Many second home owners who are only around a few weeks a year, etc. Resort communities seem to have much different dynamics than regular 'ol Vermont towns. Not sure if that has anything to do with your original question, just wanted to throw the idea out there.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Vermont
1,442 posts, read 5,907,956 times
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I just moved to Brattleboro, from Brooklyn, NY, at the end of September. I already have social ties to the local Baha'i community and, potentially, to the extended one. I am meeting people through groups and, eventually through more groups and through community engagement. Will these people become friends? Only time will tell.

Brattleboro is known for its great sense of community. Also, there are lots of transplants here, as well as native New Englanders. Most people seem friendly, but there are always those who are more reserved and/or who keep to themselves and to already established ties. Mst people are courteous, but some have been standoffish. Also, people can be pleasant acquaintances, but not wish to become intimate friends.

The jury is still out, though. I have only been here less than 2 months. Let's see how I feel a year or two from now. Then I'll be able to share more extensive experiences.

Of note, there is the annual traditrion of a community Thanksgiving on Thursday. Although I already have an invitation, I want to spend some time there, maybe even volunteer on Wednesday with food preparation and/or Thursday with setting up, serving, etc. I really wanted to go last year, but I could not get up here. Now the trip to the venue is much shorter. I'm even within walking distance!
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:35 AM
 
Location: on a dirt road in Waitsfield,Vermont
2,186 posts, read 5,995,768 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arel View Post
I just moved to Brattleboro, from Brooklyn, NY, at the end of September. I already have social ties to the local Baha'i community and, potentially, to the extended one.
When I lived in Putney in the late 60's/70's there was a vibrant Baha'i community, many connected to the college. Have read very little about it in the last 40 years. Interesting that it's still around.

Quote:
Of note, there is the annual traditrion of a community Thanksgiving on Thursday. Although I already have an invitation, I want to spend some time there, maybe even volunteer on Wednesday with food preparation and/or Thursday with setting up, serving, etc.
What an awesome thing to do. I'm working on Thanksgiving but assuming it gets pretty quiet at work in the afternoon, it does every year, I will get to enjoy the glutony we made into a holiday at a friend's place.
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Old 11-24-2008, 11:21 AM
 
Location: hinesburg, vt
1,574 posts, read 4,422,643 times
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Most of it depends on finding people who share your common interests and hobbies. Another aspect involves the fact of what you do for work and the hours you work. I am a shift worker, holidays included, and the geographic spread of my coworkers hometowns is considerable. The same applies to fellow troops in my guard unit. These factors drastically inhibit the ability to get involved in functions together. Now as for retired folks work is not the issue, but simply finding folks either via organizations, clubs, church, may work or not. The more trendy resort towns with a higher transient population, as mentioned, removes the local flavor. Ironically, I get together and do stuff with a buddy who lives in Ct who I served with on active duty many years ago, than I do with local folks.
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Old 11-24-2008, 12:08 PM
 
Location: on a dirt road in Waitsfield,Vermont
2,186 posts, read 5,995,768 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flu189 View Post
The more trendy resort towns with a higher transient population, as mentioned, removes the local flavor. .
It certainly reduces it especially when just driving thru but it definately does not "remove" it. Places like Manchester, the MRV and Stowe have a strong local community that does many of the local things other non-trendy resort towns do. Just go to their town meetings and you will see the local flavor in all it's glory.
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Old 11-24-2008, 12:24 PM
 
Location: Western views of Mansfield/Camels Hump!
1,943 posts, read 3,239,013 times
Reputation: 1085
I think that in places like Stowe you definitely have to seek out the locals...you're not going to find them at the hoity toity restaurants or the boutique shops, that's for sure. Joining clubs and going to events will probably be your best bet - I am sure there are lots of activities in Stowe that attract more locals than visitors - there always seems to be stuff listed in the paper. I am a member of the Stowe Land Trust, and they alone have what seem to be several events throughout the year, including trail maintenance and bird watching.
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Old 11-24-2008, 01:31 PM
 
Location: ♥State of the heart♥
1,118 posts, read 4,378,371 times
Reputation: 839
Quote:
Originally Posted by tkln View Post
I am a member of the Stowe Land Trust, and they alone have what seem to be several events throughout the year, including trail maintenance and bird watching.
Hey, so are we! We often read about events they have that we'd love to do. That's a fine organization with a wonderful purpose.

It's possible we'll fit into Stowe - we don't go to the boutiques, expensive ski shops or the hoity-toity restaurants. We tend to eat at our favorite spots, which seem to appeal to locals too.
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Old 11-24-2008, 01:43 PM
 
5,825 posts, read 13,326,782 times
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When we were growing up (60 yr. old age group) things were different. Our parents and the neighbors socialized as the children tended to bring them together. The next generation of women were no longer home and were working and their lives became a bit more hectic with time for socializing on the back burner. Rarely do we socialize with people we work with, except for possible lunches. Community groups, churches and volunteer organizations tend to bring people together which sometimes result in an individualized friendship. Some 55+ communities have quite a bit of socialization, although friends of ours dislike their community due to the cliques that form.

Our daughter has lived in VT for 15 years and her friendships have been formed through her children.

I think this is a problem in many places, not necessarily limited to VT.
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