Need advice - considering move from Blacksburg to NOVA (Arlington: apartment, lawyer)

[Azmordean]

Hey all... the title says it all. I've got quite a dilemma going here. First, a bit of background. I was born in Washington, DC but we moved to Houston, TX when I was 3 and that's where I grew up. My childhood was spent, basically, in a Houston suburb, so I am thoroughly acquainted with typical suburban life (and I don't like it - give me a small town, or give me "high urban"). My family was mostly from the DC area though, or places close to it, so we'd often go to visit during the summer. I liked "back east" as my mom called it much better than Houston, so I applied for colleges there. I was accepted to Virginia Tech, and started there in August of 1999. The summer before I started, my parents had troubles, and my mom moved back to Alexandria, VA, where she still resides.

After the first year or so of settling in, I began to really enjoy college. And I loved Blacksburg. I loved that it had better winters than much of Virginia (by better, I mean snowier, which I like). I loved the mountains. I loved the small town. I loved all the college friends I made. I loved the plethora of outdoor activities. So much so, that when I graduated from Tech in 2003 and went to law school at William & Mary, I made it my goal to come back to Blacksburg to settle. And I was successful. I took the right classes, interned for a judge in the area my first summer and a lawyer in the area my second. That lawyer and his new partner then hired me and I started as an associate there in October 2006. I moved to an apartment in Blacksburg, and thought my "dreams had been realized."

Now I'm not too sure. I still love this place - the outdoors, the little eclectic town, the mountains, the weather. But the social side isn't there any more. Most of my college friends have left. And I do basically the same thing every weekend with the few that remain. College comes with a built-in social life, but now that I'm a "townie" I have no such luck. And it seems there is a SERIOUS lack of young professionals here. I'm sure there's a few, but not that many. I've realized that the Virginia Tech community is separate from the local one, and unless you are plugged into it, you don't have access to it. Not that I want to hang out with college kids anyway, I'm 27 now. It seems like people graduate college, leave this area, then some return when they get married and have a family. In between though, the young single professional crowd isn't here. Now, I'm not a social butterfly, but I'm not anti-social either - and I'm just not meeting ANYONE. No guy friends, no girls to date, nada. And I don't even know how to do so - again, all the clubs and organizations are either not so young people, or college dominated. At first, I wasn't too bothered with this. I did things with the few friends I've got, was getting settled into the area, my new job, etc. Now its getting a bit lonely though - and old. I feel like I'm in a serious social rut, and I don't know how to escape it.

So, I'm thinking of moving. To Northern Virginia. My mom still lives there, along with some of my other family, and I have some friends up there. I'd live in Arlington - in a walkable urban setting, replete with young professionals like me - plenty of people with plenty of ways to meet them. In addition, I've always liked cities and urban areas (I love to visit the likes of New York and San Francisco) and part of me thinks I'd like to try that life out for a while - now is the time to do it while I'm young and single. But another part of me worries that I'll end up hating it and that I'd be throwing away all that work I put into getting back to Blacksburg - and once I leave, returning won't be easy. So I'm now paralyzed with indecision. I've been putting out feelers on jobs (I know I can get one up there eventually), but I hate living in limbo. I want to decide, yes im moving as soon as i can, or no im staying here. I know no one can tell me what to do - but does anyone have some advice or thoughts for me?

Sorry for the long post!

[Erma]

Only you can make that decision. If your social life is more important, maybe a change is what you need. As you explained, your college friends left, married and came back...they obviously "grew up" and "settled down." This is not a personal dig in any way, shape or form, but this is how people move on in life.

[Azmordean]

Nah, actually none of my college friends have come back to Blacksburg. A few have gotten married, but by no means the majority. I was just saying that people in general, if they come back to this area, tend to do so after beginning a family - its a great place to raise a family.

For what its worth, I'm apparently not alone with this problem - the Roanoke Times actually did an article on it!

Singles seen? - Newrivervalley.com

[j1n]

hey jahutch...
are you a church-goer at all? In our church, there seems to be a bunch of folks in your basic age and peer group. I know that they make an effort to spend time together socially. Our church is in Roanoke, but I would think that maybe you could find something similar out there?

[Azmordean]

j1n:

Yeah, I go to church on occasion but have never been much for the extra activities... I've tried them out at various churches but they never really were something I enjoyed unfortunately. That said, if I stay here I'm going to try to get more involved with a church. I don't expect it to be fertile ground though - the research I've done suggests the groups are for college students or older folks. Same problem I run into everywhere. FWIW, Roanoke is quite a bit different in that regard. Its got its own issues with young professionals, but there's definitely stuff going on if you look for it. I don't really want to have to drive almost an hour each way for my social life though!

[VTech_Girl]

I'm not sure you have figure out what you want to do by now. I was a graduate student at Tech for 7 years, so I can relate to you somewhat, since I was in Blacksburg in early 20s until late 20s. Groups of friends changed during those years. Being in Blacksburg in your situation would have been awesome if you have your partner in life to share those amazing things with you, however being single 27 years old, your choice of finding a gf is more limited, and I'm sure you don't want to just settle for a person you do not want. It seems you are ok with moving to bigger city, so why not give a shot? Even though at the end you might not be able to move back to Blacksburg per se, I'm sure you can find a small town with similar vibe as Blacksburg all around the country. So, I would say go for it, and enjoy NOVA. Oh, one thing though, you want to make sure when you pick a new job in NOVA, you look for a place where there are a lot of young people like you, otherwise you might got stuck in the same situation even though you are in a big city.