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Old 07-18-2010, 09:39 PM
 
13 posts, read 20,187 times
Reputation: 13

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Hi guys,

I've been living here for about 6 months now in the Arlington area and could use some advice on two fronts from the locals.

I earn a GS-15ish salary and work pretty ridiculous hours. It is a miracle when I actually make it home by 6:30 PM (8:00PM is the usual culprit), so I usually feel pretty spent after grabbing a bite to eat then hitting the condo gym.

I am approaching my late 20's and feeling generally unsatisfied with my relationships and living arrangements.

Relationships: I don't have many friends outside of my coworkers (which I mostly attribute to my long hours) so I've met the 3 women I've dated so far in the most random places (i.e. at the tennis store getting my racquet restrung), or (unfortunately) at work. The latter has been the most popular as of late. For whatever reason, it's always been easy to snag office tail, but we all know that isn't productive in the long run.

I do really well at professional happy hours, or when a friend introduces me to a gal he longer wants to sleep with, but other than that, I strike out at loud bars (which i dislike anyway). I wouldn't say I am a bad looking guy, and I can definitely hold my own in conversation. My wardrobe is pretty respectable, and I don't mind spending $$$ on good food or cool events.

I am a complete lost as to where a guy like me can meet women when I have to roll on my own. It is definitely hard to summon the self-confidence when you are alone at a bar even if the person has been eye-f$%G -ing you for the past hour. What and where should a dude like me roll-out to, giving the hours I work and the inability to join organizations which meet during the work week?

Living situation:
I have been using craigslist to try to find suitable roommates but have generally struck out there too. I live in an area of Arlington which just feels too far from the action.

Is there a better way to meet people looking for roommates that match your income level and general style? To be more specific, the people I am meeting on Craigslist seem to enjoy using furniture resembling IKEA products that have fell down the stairs a few times. Either that, or you get the feeling that an upcoming conversation about how you will split the cost of ketchup is coming up. I am not trying to be snob or anything, but ****, we're in our late 20's now living in the big city, so wouldn't it be cool to not live like freshmans in a dorm?

Anyone know a cool roommate with good taste, sociable, with enough discretionary income to really explore the city? This may be a pipedream, but I would love a roommate(s) that actually gets the next bottle of wine when you pick up the first, and if we weren't doing anything the answer to "want to grab some vodka and caviar we dont know how to appreciate, and check out some Russian talent?" would be yes.

To compound this impossible roommate search, I would like to live in the Dupont area. It just seems like a vibrant place where it would be easier to meet people with all the activity that goes on.

I appreciate any advice you guys/gal can give.

Thanks!

Last edited by EinDC; 07-18-2010 at 09:59 PM.. Reason: spelling
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Old 07-19-2010, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,489 posts, read 8,780,427 times
Reputation: 3624
Have you tried joining a meet up group for something you're interested in? Those tend to draw from all age groups.
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Old 07-19-2010, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA
5,412 posts, read 2,975,926 times
Reputation: 916
Quote:
Originally Posted by EinDC View Post
Hi guys,

I've been living here for about 6 months now in the Arlington area and could use some advice on two fronts from the locals.

I earn a GS-15ish salary and work pretty ridiculous hours. It is a miracle when I actually make it home by 6:30 PM (8:00PM is the usual culprit), so I usually feel pretty spent after grabbing a bite to eat then hitting the condo gym.

I am approaching my late 20's and feeling generally unsatisfied with my relationships and living arrangements.

Relationships: I don't have many friends outside of my coworkers (which I mostly attribute to my long hours) so I've met the 3 women I've dated so far in the most random places (i.e. at the tennis store getting my racquet restrung), or (unfortunately) at work. The latter has been the most popular as of late. For whatever reason, it's always been easy to snag office tail, but we all know that isn't productive in the long run.

I do really well at professional happy hours, or when a friend introduces me to a gal he longer wants to sleep with, but other than that, I strike out at loud bars (which i dislike anyway). I wouldn't say I am a bad looking guy, and I can definitely hold my own in conversation. My wardrobe is pretty respectable, and I don't mind spending $$$ on good food or cool events.

I am a complete lost as to where a guy like me can meet women when I have to roll on my own. It is definitely hard to summon the self-confidence when you are alone at a bar even if the person has been eye-f$%G -ing you for the past hour. What and where should a dude like me roll-out to, giving the hours I work and the inability to join organizations which meet during the work week?

Living situation:
I have been using craigslist to try to find suitable roommates but have generally struck out there too. I live in an area of Arlington which just feels too far from the action.

Is there a better way to meet people looking for roommates that match your income level and general style? To be more specific, the people I am meeting on Craigslist seem to enjoy using furniture resembling IKEA products that have fell down the stairs a few times. Either that, or you get the feeling that an upcoming conversation about how you will split the cost of ketchup is coming up. I am not trying to be snob or anything, but ****, we're in our late 20's now living in the big city, so wouldn't it be cool to not live like freshmans in a dorm?

Anyone know a cool roommate with good taste, sociable, with enough discretionary income to really explore the city? This may be a pipedream, but I would love a roommate(s) that actually gets the next bottle of wine when you pick up the first, and if we weren't doing anything the answer to "want to grab some vodka and caviar we dont know how to appreciate, and check out some Russian talent?" would be yes.

To compound this impossible roommate search, I would like to live in the Dupont area. It just seems like a vibrant place where it would be easier to meet people with all the activity that goes on.

I appreciate any advice you guys/gal can give.

Thanks!

I think people of that income level tend to not have roommates. Im guessing I make that much, and I quit having roommates despite the financial hardship. I just felt I was too old to not be living by myself (was 30 at the time, now I'm 35). In a roommate situation, people would tend not to invest in nice furniture, etc because it could get damaged, you'll eventually move out and moving furniture is a pain.

One of my former roommates after 8 years of living with the other roommate (3 of us total at one point) uses plastic drawers, like people would use in a garage to tools...

When they get their own places, I'm sure then they'll invest in something nicer than Ikea furniture that has been dropped down the stairs three times.
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Old 07-19-2010, 12:02 PM
 
13 posts, read 20,187 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
Have you tried joining a meet up group for something you're interested in? Those tend to draw from all age groups.
No, I actually haven't. I've been recommended to go check out kickball, but the hours they meet is pretty hard to swing.

Any of you local ladies out there have any advice? I really dig professional happy hours because the whole point of the mixers is for you to meet other people. So I have hesitation at all going up to anyone and striking up a conversation.

The problem for me now, is that the conferences I am attending are less than sexy, often attracting middle aged white men who are way too eagar give their business cards for posturing.

One of my coworkers suggested that I might do well in speed dating, but I have no idea what kind of candidate pool that attracts.

Any thoughts?
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Old 07-19-2010, 12:08 PM
 
13 posts, read 20,187 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by betamanlet View Post
I think people of that income level tend to not have roommates. Im guessing I make that much, and I quit having roommates despite the financial hardship. I just felt I was too old to not be living by myself (was 30 at the time, now I'm 35). In a roommate situation, people would tend not to invest in nice furniture, etc because it could get damaged, you'll eventually move out and moving furniture is a pain.

One of my former roommates after 8 years of living with the other roommate (3 of us total at one point) uses plastic drawers, like people would use in a garage to tools...

When they get their own places, I'm sure then they'll invest in something nicer than Ikea furniture that has been dropped down the stairs three times.
I hear what you are saying. Our living costs, IMHO, arent that far removed from a place like Manhattan, where mature, successful adults enter into a roommate situation (at least until they get married) because it makes fiscal sense and its nice to room with friends. I just would have assumed that it would be easier to find roommates that like to have higher standard of living and are seeking roommate compatibility over the need to just have 1/2 or 1/3 of the rent paid off.
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Old 07-19-2010, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA
5,412 posts, read 2,975,926 times
Reputation: 916
Quote:
Originally Posted by EinDC View Post
I hear what you are saying. Our living costs, IMHO, arent that far removed from a place like Manhattan, where mature, successful adults enter into a roommate situation (at least until they get married) because it makes fiscal sense and its nice to room with friends. I just would have assumed that it would be easier to find roommates that like to have higher standard of living and are seeking roommate compatibility over the need to just have 1/2 or 1/3 of the rent paid off.

Sometimes people who own homes but are in over their heads might take in roommates. I knew some chick who moved in with some guy who had to make alimony or child support payments so he needed the rental income. It was nicely furnished.
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Old 07-19-2010, 07:41 PM
 
880 posts, read 2,653,538 times
Reputation: 645
Default Some insight

Shocker you find it hard to meet decent women with writing like this: "For whatever reason, it's always been easy to snag office tail" Or this dilemma, "when a friend introduces me to a gal he longer wants to sleep with." Then the little gem you detailed when you wrote: "when you are alone at a bar even if the person has been eye-f$%G -ing you for the past hour"

It would appear that you've been meeting women equal to your own caliber, so I find it unlikely that a woman with some integrity would be interested.
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Old 07-19-2010, 08:29 PM
 
13 posts, read 20,187 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skatergirl View Post
Shocker you find it hard to meet decent women with writing like this: "For whatever reason, it's always been easy to snag office tail" Or this dilemma, "when a friend introduces me to a gal he longer wants to sleep with." Then the little gem you detailed when you wrote: "when you are alone at a bar even if the person has been eye-f$%G -ing you for the past hour"

It would appear that you've been meeting women equal to your own caliber, so I find it unlikely that a woman with some integrity would be interested.

I think what you were missing is my attempt to use self deprecation. We all know its easy to date at work (it's a much more daunting task in the outside world where you don't get to see people every day), and it takes much more charisma outside of it. Additionally, guys usually don't like introducing their guy friends to girls they want to sleep with, even if they are already in relationship. It is a selfish thing and well, pretty common.

As far as the eye-f$%g -ing, wouldn't you agree that it is pretty lame for a guy to not go up and talk to you after you have been making eye contact with him for an hour? That's why having a wingman certainly helps.

Sorry if my little "gems" went over your halfpipe.
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Old 07-19-2010, 10:12 PM
 
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
14,132 posts, read 24,825,067 times
Reputation: 6756
Quote:
Originally Posted by EinDC View Post
I appreciate any advice you guys/gal can give.
I'm sure after reading your "self deprecating" gems there are quite a few women who would love to give you advice that perhaps wouldn't meet the TOS for these forums.
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Old 07-20-2010, 12:28 AM
 
13 posts, read 20,187 times
Reputation: 13
Default lighten up

Quote:
Originally Posted by CAVA1990 View Post
I'm sure after reading your "self deprecating" gems there are quite a few women who would love to give you advice that perhaps wouldn't meet the TOS for these forums.
I agree that perhaps I was a bit blunt, but sweet jesus - why waste your time passing judgement on me? I appreciate the people who replied with advice rather than personally attacking me. I'm sure you are perfect and gloriously PC 100% of the time, so feel free to go to do something productive than trolling forums and trying to point out people's foibles.
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