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Old 03-20-2011, 06:20 PM
 
309 posts, read 470,515 times
Reputation: 358

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Quote:
Originally Posted by meatkins View Post
You're venting because you're upset, I understand, but you completely missed my point. You are trying to justify behavior that is just flat out wrong. You basically have admitted that you aren't as friendly to men because of previous encounters, but then you get upset when men are using the b-word. I don't understand. How could you expect men to see anything different if you don't change your behavior? Noticed that I stated that it is wrong on both sides. What many people are missing is that their behavior is creating a cycle. Men treat women bad, women treat men bad, men treat women bad, etc. etc.

To add to this, this is the big problem with women in this area. Women are so used to being mistreated, that they do not even know how to handle a brother who is just being chivalrous. My encounters simply came from such things as holding a door open. The reactions or lack thereof that I got was sad. I understand why women would be bothered by the attention, but treating all brothers like that because of some idiots doesn't make it right. At some point, one of us has to step up and say I will not continue to treat the opposite sex in this manner. Carrying this behavior on won't change anything. And for the 3rd time, I DIDN'T SAY ALL HOWARD WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...in your case and LIKE I SAID BEFORE--"IF YOU OPEN THE DOOR , I'LL SAY "THANKS" lolwhat more indication do you want I understand where you're coming from because I'm not gonna repeat myself. I'm not talking from any sort of anger aka why I'm using "lols".

But in the case of guys who are ACTUALLY trying to holla at people and what we've been talking about for awhile now, these guys just shouldn't expect full-on convos ALL the time......yes, girls have their guards up but a girl having her guard up because she just wants to continue on her with her day without problems and a girl expecting SEX from every guy around her are 2 COMPLETELY different things and you know this......example: A black man who goes through certain neighborhoods in D.C./MD will drive around with his car windows up and doors locked no matter what....this man is COMPLETELY different from the black man who will call the police on an innocent black man because he felt that "he was about to do something and seemed suspicious" .......yet is the guy who drives in these D.C. neighborhoods labeled stuck-up or is he just being "cautious"????...and for some REASON--people on this board are forgetting that HU, especially when I WENT wasn't placed in the safest of all neighborhoods in this district...aka why it's called a gentrified neighborhood............so not only were we dealing with sexual assaults but plenty of other mess as well...don't even get me started on all the times my people's car was broken into when they visited.....or the lovely old black woman who would pee next to Subway and show all of her goodies each and every morning like clockwork

so all the stuff about "peace love and harmony" among men and women.........wellllll...Call me "stuck-up" but I'd rather be holla'd on the campus of Georgetown by a black guy than a guy on HU's campus ANYDAY and that's not against "the brothas" but the neighborhood as a whole.......in terms of someone random (man or woman) trying to converse and be friendly, well I can say with total honesty that I treated all people(MEN and women) the same no matter what ...so if I was feeling nice, I'd talk, if I wasn't and just had a bad day/tired, then I'd want them to shut-up and keep it moving..*shrugs*

Last edited by GaBison2007; 03-20-2011 at 06:32 PM..
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Old 03-20-2011, 09:58 PM
 
Location: Standing outside of heaven, wating for God to come and get me.
1,382 posts, read 2,178,216 times
Reputation: 474
Bison,
How did you meet your guy? Did you make him take a lie detector test. lol...

Just teasing. I currently date a HU grad and have spent plenty of time on your campus. Yes, I was one the guys who came on campus to see some of the "Stallions" but I am not the one to go out way calling women names. My father raised me better than that and I really don't care for trying to holla at girls in those type of venues cause it is a big game at that point.
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Old 03-21-2011, 12:50 AM
 
71 posts, read 106,317 times
Reputation: 41
Hey - Visiting from another forum. Gotta say the DC threads make me laugh, you people are hilarious!

Wanted to say two things -

What's your definition of skinny? I think skinny is generally a 0 - 4.

I think the OP asked earlier why some blessed women choose "more average lifestyles" over living it up a few years. I dunno about everyone else but I'll speak for myself (although I am actually single): I choose not to live that lifestyle 'coz it just doesn't keep with my values/morals. Not to mention, I am not the type who shares the bulk of my thoughts with many people. Couldn't stand to think of sharing my ideas/thought-processes with a rotation of guys.

Last edited by delasoul; 03-21-2011 at 01:08 AM..
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Old 03-21-2011, 01:20 AM
 
Location: Springfield VA
4,033 posts, read 5,282,290 times
Reputation: 1421
Quote:
Originally Posted by delasoul View Post
Hey - Visiting from another forum. Gotta say the DC threads make me laugh, you people are hilarious!

Wanted to say two things -

What's your definition of skinny? I think skinny is generally a 0 - 4.

I think the OP asked earlier why some blessed women choose "more average lifestyles" over living it up a few years. I dunno about everyone else but I'll speak for myself (although I am actually single): I choose not to live that lifestyle 'coz it just doesn't keep with my values/morals. Not to mention, I am not the type who shares the bulk of my thoughts with many people. Couldn't stand to think of sharing my ideas/thought-processes with a rotation of guys.
Yeah I think others have said that too. I think at the end of the day women and men view sex in particular differently. Men more so than women can seperate love/feelings from sex. So a woman that was thinking like the OP (a man) probably would take full advantage of her situation. However most women don't think like men.
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Old 03-21-2011, 04:43 AM
Yac
 
4,357 posts, read 3,733,522 times
I just want to ask you limit the number of words that trigger our profanity filter. Keep the discussion civil, please.
Yac.
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Old 03-21-2011, 06:54 AM
 
Location: 10 Years Later from ...
8,048 posts, read 5,469,503 times
Reputation: 2680
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy View Post
Exactly. So don't get upset when you see one who has little or no experience with being treated kindly. Just remind yourself that she hasn't become cultured to understand that you mean no harm. She'll learn after she sees this kindness as not being proceeded with "so how you don' miss lady, you lookin' good, wassup". Don't get upset by it.
Double Standard. If a guy called you a b-word, would you be like, oh "don't get upset when you see one who has little or no experience with being treated kindly"? That doesn't sound realistic. We don't have ESP, we can't read women minds, not all women behave this way for that reason. Some are just straight up stuck up. No other way to put it. I think we can talk about all the causes for it, but the simple question in this point of the discussion is, is it wrong, yes or no? If it is, which I believe it is for women, but I also completely 100% believe it is wrong for men to call women the b-word as well, then everything else is you justifying something that is wrong. I can rob a bank and tell you that I have a family to feed, but that doesn't make it right. We get so caught up in arguing with each other and trying to win an argument that we completely miss the point, is it wrong?
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Old 03-21-2011, 07:10 AM
 
Location: 10 Years Later from ...
8,048 posts, read 5,469,503 times
Reputation: 2680
Quote:
Originally Posted by GaBison2007 View Post
...in your case and LIKE I SAID BEFORE--"IF YOU OPEN THE DOOR , I'LL SAY "THANKS" lolwhat more indication do you want I understand where you're coming from because I'm not gonna repeat myself. I'm not talking from any sort of anger aka why I'm using "lols".

But in the case of guys who are ACTUALLY trying to holla at people and what we've been talking about for awhile now, these guys just shouldn't expect full-on convos ALL the time......yes, girls have their guards up but a girl having her guard up because she just wants to continue on her with her day without problems and a girl expecting SEX from every guy around her are 2 COMPLETELY different things and you know this......example: A black man who goes through certain neighborhoods in D.C./MD will drive around with his car windows up and doors locked no matter what....this man is COMPLETELY different from the black man who will call the police on an innocent black man because he felt that "he was about to do something and seemed suspicious" .......yet is the guy who drives in these D.C. neighborhoods labeled stuck-up or is he just being "cautious"????...and for some REASON--people on this board are forgetting that HU, especially when I WENT wasn't placed in the safest of all neighborhoods in this district...aka why it's called a gentrified neighborhood............so not only were we dealing with sexual assaults but plenty of other mess as well...don't even get me started on all the times my people's car was broken into when they visited.....or the lovely old black woman who would pee next to Subway and show all of her goodies each and every morning like clockwork
I don't think guys are expecting full out conversations. I know I never did. I was very quiet and to myself for the most part at Howard. However, the expectation is you don't have to act like someone is bothering you. If a guy comes up and ask you a simple question, maybe he is just trying to get an answer and nothing else. If a guy holds a door open for you, you should say thanks, but the problem is a lot of women on that campus didn't care. You just shouldn't run around with a chip on your shoulder because of a few bad apples.

As far as the campus is concerned, I completely agree with the safety, but that isn't unique for women. Guys had it difficult as well. I've heard people getting stuck up in broad daylight. But there are simple common sense things that I do that doesn't change my attitude:
a) walk on main streets
b) walk around a group of people
c) always looked around me when I was going to my car
d) avoid walking around too much at night

These things never made me act a certain way towards people. Of course if some guy ask you to come over to where he is at or something like that, I wouldn't expect you to walk over, but if you're in a building, in a lab, or one of the libraries or something, do you still need to keep your guard up? Really?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GaBison2007 View Post
so all the stuff about "peace love and harmony" among men and women.........wellllll...Call me "stuck-up" but I'd rather be holla'd on the campus of Georgetown by a black guy than a guy on HU's campus ANYDAY and that's not against "the brothas" but the neighborhood as a whole.......in terms of someone random (man or woman) trying to converse and be friendly, well I can say with total honesty that I treated all people(MEN and women) the same no matter what ...so if I was feeling nice, I'd talk, if I wasn't and just had a bad day/tired, then I'd want them to shut-up and keep it moving..*shrugs*
I'm sorry but there is something wrong with this thinking. You're basically stereotyping a whole campus of dudes. Do you really think a black guy from Georgetown is going to some how be 'different' than at HU? Georgetown has crime too. They have their share of issues as well, so again how can you expect anything different. Like I just said earlier, I understand how you might be walking around certain parts of the campus, but to keep that behavior up, while in the buildings amongst your peers is just sad. And I'm not saying that is how you act. I saying this about sistas in general on that campus. I think we are just going to disagree on this issue but I hope more sistas don't take on this mentality because many of them will be single for a long time.
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Old 03-21-2011, 08:08 PM
 
71 posts, read 106,317 times
Reputation: 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by terrence81 View Post
Yeah I think others have said that too. I think at the end of the day women and men view sex in particular differently. Men more so than women can seperate love/feelings from sex. So a woman that was thinking like the OP (a man) probably would take full advantage of her situation. However most women don't think like men.
How ironic. You are precisely incorrect, regarding myself.
In addition to values/morals, I do not take advantage of men because I think like a man. That is, I know how men view things, so why would I set myself up for failure (read: used and abused)? A fast lifestyle where one has everything easily ruins a woman (I have seen it first-hand). I would rather spend my younger years geared towards someday having lovely family than spend my younger years "living it up." To have an overall wonderful life, you pretty much have one shot -- the early-to-mid twenties age-frame -- as a woman.

A woman thinking like a man would not necessarily do what a man would do. I am thinking like a man; I am just not using a man's game.

(For those nit-picking my spiel: Wanting a family isn't entirely a "womanly quality .")
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Old 03-21-2011, 09:12 PM
 
51 posts, read 42,275 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by GaBison2007 View Post
...in your case and LIKE I SAID BEFORE--"IF YOU OPEN THE DOOR , I'LL SAY "THANKS" lolwhat more indication do you want I understand where you're coming from because I'm not gonna repeat myself. I'm not talking from any sort of anger aka why I'm using "lols".

But in the case of guys who are ACTUALLY trying to holla at people and what we've been talking about for awhile now, these guys just shouldn't expect full-on convos ALL the time......yes, girls have their guards up but a girl having her guard up because she just wants to continue on her with her day without problems and a girl expecting SEX from every guy around her are 2 COMPLETELY different things and you know this......example: A black man who goes through certain neighborhoods in D.C./MD will drive around with his car windows up and doors locked no matter what....this man is COMPLETELY different from the black man who will call the police on an innocent black man because he felt that "he was about to do something and seemed suspicious" .......yet is the guy who drives in these D.C. neighborhoods labeled stuck-up or is he just being "cautious"????...and for some REASON--people on this board are forgetting that HU, especially when I WENT wasn't placed in the safest of all neighborhoods in this district...aka why it's called a gentrified neighborhood............so not only were we dealing with sexual assaults but plenty of other mess as well...don't even get me started on all the times my people's car was broken into when they visited.....or the lovely old black woman who would pee next to Subway and show all of her goodies each and every morning like clockwork

so all the stuff about "peace love and harmony" among men and women.........wellllll...Call me "stuck-up" but I'd rather be holla'd on the campus of Georgetown by a black guy than a guy on HU's campus ANYDAY and that's not against "the brothas" but the neighborhood as a whole.......in terms of someone random (man or woman) trying to converse and be friendly, well I can say with total honesty that I treated all people(MEN and women) the same no matter what ...so if I was feeling nice, I'd talk, if I wasn't and just had a bad day/tired, then I'd want them to shut-up and keep it moving..*shrugs*
Considering that I'm a current Howard student....that's kind of messed up. I don't know how the area was when you attended but, it's not that bad. If lily white Ivy league girls at Barnard/Columbia can protect themselves in Harlem than I think Howard girls will be "okay" in NW DC. It comes with the territory of urban schools. It's not like you should be walking around campus at 2am anyway. I wouldn't do that in Georgetown either.
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Old 03-21-2011, 10:18 PM
Status: "It reads "status is too long"." (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: Washington, D.C.
1,335 posts, read 969,303 times
Reputation: 1540
Quote:
Originally Posted by meatkins View Post
Double Standard. If a guy called you a b-word, would you be like, oh "don't get upset when you see one who has little or no experience with being treated kindly"? That doesn't sound realistic. We don't have ESP, we can't read women minds, not all women behave this way for that reason. Some are just straight up stuck up. No other way to put it. I think we can talk about all the causes for it, but the simple question in this point of the discussion is, is it wrong, yes or no? If it is, which I believe it is for women, but I also completely 100% believe it is wrong for men to call women the b-word as well, then everything else is you justifying something that is wrong. I can rob a bank and tell you that I have a family to feed, but that doesn't make it right. We get so caught up in arguing with each other and trying to win an argument that we completely miss the point, is it wrong?
I don't know. I'm just saying to be mature about it. This certainly doesn't help the cycle of animosity between Black men and Black women to point the finger at who's wrong and who's more wrong, etc. At some point you have to stop whining, blaming, grow up and just learn to walk away from immature women. No, I don't get mad at men for saying "b----," I ignore them and go about my business as if they don't exist. I don't dwell on it and then take it out on another brother. Why? Because I understand that he isn't representative of everyone else. Simple. It's a matter of maturity.

#kanyeshrug
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