Old question, new people - Newcomer trying to meet people (high school, college)
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Do you like tennis? There are tons of tennis players in this area, of all ages. For pretty reasonable prices, you can take group lessons at certain public outdoor courts in DC and in Arlington, if that's convenient.
This is a really good thread. So many of these threads seem to devolve into "DC is uptight, lame and it sucks" vs. "DC is a great city and if you can't meet anybody it's your own fault". The OPs concerns seem very common and even as a native I can attest that maintaining friendships and connections as you get older (and busier) can definitely be challenging. It's hard to know if it's anything specific about this city and area or not but I know even just approaching people can seem more intimidating here at times. This is a more formal metropolitan area than most and many people you'll meet out and about are very tied to and defined by their careers for better and for worse, even young 20somethings. It can also feel very culturally conservative, despite its international population, and if you're looking for people who think outside the box it can sometimes be challenging as well. However, as others have said, these elements can be overcome with time and effort and just an open-mindedness to trying new activities.
What helped me when I was in a social rut is I made a list of different specific interests of mine and then did an online search of ways to get involved. Volunteering is definitely a great way to meet people though I've found it's best to just concentrate on the activity itself as an interest then to go in expecting to meet people. So are sports leagues though I would make sure that the league you're involved in matches your level of competitiveness (I've been around softball leagues that are murderously competitive). One thing I haven't seen mentioned that I'd also recommend is looking into classes for an interest of yours. I remember years ago a coworker of mine took cooking classes and she ended up loving it and meeting several new people who she became friends with. I've taken different computer classes from NOVA and Fairfax County Adult Education (Fairfax County Public Schools :: Instructional Services :: Adult and Community Education) and I know there are several different types of classes held there. Sometimes even online communities evolve through blogs who have regular in-person meetups (one local example I like is Greater Greater Washington). Personally, I'm also a fan of the local MLS team DC United and they have a very active fan community in the area (www.dcunited.com).
Basically, in addition to saying "just keep trying" I would also add that it's good to know what it is you like to do as a way of further defining YOURSELF as a person and thereby having more to offer to friends and relationships in your life. My mom used to tell me growing up that "the more interested you are in the world around you the more INTERESTING you are to other people." This seems especially so in the DC area where people come to live here for a purpose as part of their careers rather than people who are just natives or people who come here just to be HERE as a lifestyle choice (as they might in NYC, California, Miami, Seattle, etc.). Unfortunately, this isn't the type of area where you can often just casually start a conversation with the person sitting next to you in a coffee shop. However, don't let that deter you from continuing to try because it will eventually pay dividends and be worth it, not just in friends but in personal growth as well.
A major reason that people in the DC area seem shut-off is because they are very busy in general compared to people in most places, as this is a very career-oriented metro area.
I'd say find a non- work related activity you already enjoy or are really interested in. You are certain to meet others who share your interest. And that's a great way to build friendships and network.
For example, outside my day job, I'm a musician and songwriter on nights and weekends. That has been my passion from an early age. And I can tell you there are tons of people who are interested in that in this area. :-)
A major reason that people in the DC area seem shut-off is because they are very busy in general compared to people in most places, as this is a very career-oriented metro area.
I don't know if it's JUST that people are necessarily busier here than in other areas. I've known plenty of hard-working, motivated career people all over the country and world. I think part of the issue here is that many Washingtonians can't seem to shut it off. For example, when I traveled around and lived elsewhere rarely in social situations was I asked so immediately and consistently where I work rather than possible common interests as I am here (not even just what I do for a living but specifically where I work). Personally, I love being around successful, motivated people. They're the most interesting people to me. The challenge here is that because so many people come to this metro area specifically FOR their career (and probably wouldn't otherwise) you can come across many people who constantly seem to be on the job even when they're not at work.
OP: I don't know what university you graduated from or if your a college graduate at all but I will say join your alumni organization here in the DC metro area. Most major universities have alumni chapters in DC. I know my university has its largest chapter located here. I've been able to meet many people this way. Its a great way to network and meet fellow alum from your college or university. Many have parties to watch college sports games where you can meet and greet and get to know one another.
Otherwise sports leagues, poetry venues, Happy hour, clubs although not really the place to meet "friends" more like FWB are all good places to start. As folks have said you gotta put yourself out there. Some people won't be receptive but keep on looking. Welcome to DC. Its really a dynamic city despite what some may say. Always something to do and money to make. People here are just very career focused and are trying to move up in life. I will say when I first got here I felt the same way you do. That people here are aloof and cold. I still feel that way partially but since I started meeting people my dislike for this city has subsided greatly. Unlike Chicago where people have roots in the city DC is a transient town where folks come and go daily. Most are here for their career and ONLY this reason and as such are not interested in putting down roots in this area. Meaning they could care less about making friends or starting a family here.
I don't know. I think it depends on perspective and individual. I'm not from here and I want to put down roots here. I only relocated to the area for a job but now that I'm here I want to make it my home. So just want to throw a monkey wrench in the idea that just because a person moved here for their career doesn't mean they don't care about roots and making friends.
As I think I think I've mentioned just put yourself out there. It takes time to meet new people and establish a real friendship but if you fall off the horse you dust yourself off and get back on.
I think that there are a lot of people in your shoes, and so you have to put yourself out there. Some of the problem is that people are very busy, but I think more of the problem is that there are so many new people that are too shy to be assertive in making friends that it makes it seem like people are being unfriendly and aloof but really they are all in the same place.
I have lived in this area for quite some time, but I still meet new people and make new friends on probably a weekly basis. I initiate. It works, and people are generally very receptive. As everyone above noted, you should find a couple activities that you like and then don't just go to them, but start conversations. And, if you like the conversation, invite them for coffee or ask if they are going to another event. If they say no, don't worry about it, and try again with the next person that seems the slightest bit interesting.
Well, I offered to grab a drink and he never PMd me, so I clearly suck at making friends.
I'll grab a drink!! I move to DC on Wednesday from Chicago and I'm terrified because I don't know anybody! I've never been in a position where I have had to really put myself out there to make friends because I have been in Chicago all my life. My friends from high school went to the same college, then everyone moved to the city and we have constantly met new people through mutual friends. Thanks for all the advice in this post! I am going to give some of these suggestions a shot
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