Bloomberg: Single Women Doomed to Loneliness in D.C. (statistics, moving to)

[Eugene80]

Originally Posted by coolio69

I'm on the metro M-F rush hour, pretty much (mornings/afternoons). Every once in a while women will outnumber men in a train car(not counting tourists), but that is rare. Men are usually the majority. All this stuff about women being more predominant is a bunch of bull. Maybe this means that men hunt (go to work) more and women nest (stay home) who knows? Just my personal experience...

This is true, and some areas more so than others. For example, I've noticed that the area around Silver Spring, and that part of the red line, skews heavily more male. On the orange line into VA and also the Bethesda part of the red line, it's more even.

[Tiger Beer]

Originally Posted by Eugene80

This is true, and some areas more so than others. For example, I've noticed that the area around Silver Spring, and that part of the red line, skews heavily more male. On the orange line into VA and also the Bethesda part of the red line, it's more even.

What do you think explains that?

I'm thinking maybe single females don't feel comfortable on that line? Or single females have a preference to move out to VA or Bethesda...?

[CitizenJoe]

There is a lot in this thread that is true to the experience of being a man in D.C. Just out of school, I spent over ten years living in DC in the roaring eighties and nineties (more recently I am in DC just part of the time), and what guys complain about now, guys complained about then. As others have noted, this region draws in hundreds of thousands of people to work in defense, IT, and law, and those fields tend to be overwhelmingly male. I could focus on various civilian bureaucracies too, like the patent system, defense contractors, etc., all with the same result. More wieners than can be found at Nathan's of Coney Island in the course of a summer.

Simply looking at raw numbers of men and women tells one nothing, of course. There are retirement communities in Florida that have many many more women than men, but does that mean a man looking for a woman would be happy living there? Well, maybe if he were a retiree, but otherwise, probably not. Typically, the men who come to DC want what men everywhere want: a bit of fun at first, but then "the one" with whom they can settle down and build a life. And that, for most, means a pretty woman young enough to have kids who does not already have them, a woman who is smart enough and well educated enough and sufficiently free of tattoos, bad habits etc. to be presentable to family and friends. Whatever her race, such women are always going to be in high demand, and are greatly outnumbered by the men who are looking for them. That's life, but it is worse here for the reasons noted above.

Now then, if you are looking for a city with more women to date of the sort you want to date, move to New York. Only come with lots of money, because there just aren't many jobs in New York of the sort that D.C.'s woman-starved dudes can slot themselves into, but there are lots of people with money here and if you are not one of them, good luck to you, fella. Economically, D.C. is paradise compared to New York. Or you could move to the west side of LA, where all the aspiring Hollywood starlet wannabes hang out. Trouble is, those women are not looking for you, not unless you happen to be a Hollywood producer or other such worthy capable of advancing their career. Security clearances and IT certifications don't float their boats and no one there cares that you are a GS-15 or that you know congressman so and so.

The only advice I can give to DC dudes is to keep plugging away, don't bother going to any club that fails to balance the genders at the door (which means keeping most of you out most of the time), don't mess with online dating (the ratios online are stunningly bad), but suck it in and consider where women really do hang out. Yoga classes. Poetry readings. Church. Animal shelters. Or learn to settle for a nice secretary with a few too many tattoos.

[Eugene80]

Originally Posted by CitizenJoe

There is a lot in this thread that is true to the experience of being a man in D.C. Just out of school, I spent over ten years living in DC in the roaring eighties and nineties (more recently I am in DC just part of the time), and what guys complain about now, guys complained about then.

I don't know about the roaring eighties and nineties, but DC was paradise for men in the 2000s (up till 2008, the recession). It was extremely easy to meet women and there was an abundance of them. My phone was literally grabbed and numbers punched in when I was out and about during that time frame, especially 2005-06. So no, it's not true that DC has "always" been like that.

As others have noted, this region draws in hundreds of thousands of people to work in defense, IT, and law, and those fields tend to be overwhelmingly male.

No, DC hasn't always been IT Central, either. I was a junior IT developer in 2004-2006 and people were surprised when I told them my occupation. I would mostly run into Politics/Law majors in DC, but IT wasn't huge, although hot IT jobs have always existed here.

So DC used to be packed with women. I urge anyone who's interested to browse some old CityData threads about DC, like this one (In your opinion, what is the "dating" scene like in DC?), where the men reported great satisfaction with the city's dating scene and selection in 2007.

P.S. "Whiners"? The thing is, if you don't speak up, no one will hear you. The subject of male/female shortages is mostly addressed by women when they don't have enough guys to choose from. Now, when the opposite happens, too many guys and not enough women, the "chattering class" is unusually quiet, the media won't run any articles in the papers, and things seem as they "should" be. Well, no, things are definitely not as they should be, and it's about time men spoke up to get their problems noticed and discussed, since it looks like nobody else will do it.

[CitizenJoe]

Very interesting! But based on general life experiences and having lived in a number of different cities, I think the situation you experienced in the 2000s was anomalous, and that things in DC have reverted to some longer term equilibrium. Why should there have been so many more women for DC dudes to choose from when George W. Bush was president? Did Bush attract them to DC, and has Obama scared them off?

Perhaps a lesson here is to make hay while the sun is shining, because things can cloud over in a hurry.

[Caladium]

FWIW, on the Nova forum we get roughly twice as many posts from young single guys who want to know where to meet girls than we do from young single girls who want to know where to meet guys. It seems like there are plenty of both out there.

[Eugene80]

As a matter of fact, don't take my word for it. Listen to what the women are saying themselves, about currently enjoying plenty of opportunities in DC.

That's right, a couple of women actually took the time to respond to that Bloomberg article, disputing its claim that there are supposedly lots of "lonely women" here right now. Nothing could be further from the truth, according to their comments:

Prince Of Petworth » Blog Archive » Bloomberg News: Dating in DC an

[1] M Said:

I’ve actually found it the exact opposite. I’ve received more positive male attention in DC than I have in any other place I’ve lived (Chicago and other parts of the Midwest). Maybe being blond makes me stand out more here? My friends complain that guys in DC are “too short,” and “too nerdy” but, eh, my short, nerdy boyfriend (who I met here) and I totally happy.

Also, what I like about DC is that here guys seem to think I am way cooler than I actually am.

I really do get annoyed with articles like this.

[2]
03 June 2011 3:11 PM | M Said:

I’m still lost as to how exactly the dating scene is bad for women. As many of us have posted, we’ve found it the exact opposite.

[Gilgamesh8]

Originally Posted by CitizenJoe

Whatever her race, such women are always going to be in high demand, and are greatly outnumbered by the men who are looking for them. That's life, but it is worse here for the reasons noted above.

Yup. This countries obesity rate increases that demand 10 fold. Why aren't there any articles about how tough it is for single guys? The US probably has the highest number of dateless males in the world(outside of China).

Originally Posted by Eugene80

As a matter of fact, don't take my word for it. Listen to what the women are saying themselves, about currently enjoying plenty of opportunities in DC.

It's funny because there are some women here who complain about the dating scene. But I suspect it's for different reasons. We have to remember that women are different then us. When we complain about dating it's because there isn't a good ratio of young attractive single women to men.

When women complain it's because there's not many high status men who want to commit to them. BUT theres plenty of men out there. Just walk the streets. attend any event with a singles connotation, or join an online dating site. LOL. You have be able to interpret Womanese.

[breakingfree]

Whoa! I am disgusted by the stereotypes and generalizations being made about black women on this board. Most of the people making these unfounded generalizations aren't even black women! Black women aren't a monolith. We're different with unique experiences and come from different walks of life.

ding ding ding
Due to high incarceration and mortality rates for black men, black women far outnumber black men, distorting the overall sex ratio. There are so many black girls in DC that I myself have witnessed black guys randomly stop a bunch of girls on the street and get their numbers effortlessly. Black women in DC can't be choosy as the odds are stacked against them.

Why do you assume we'd take any old black man off the street?

I think you're anecdotally assuming causation where there is only correlation. As we've discussed on here before, there's a lot more openness and aggressiveness in the DC local black culture for guys to pick women up on sidewalks or wherever with just a "hey baby" or something. You'll get ignored if you try to do that to others (I've seen many failed attempts).

That aggressive culture is not part of my culture. I don't equate sexual harassment with approaching a woman for a relationship.

I don't know about that. Although black women have difficult odds in DC, I still think there are a good majority that still think there are too good and that men will come running to them. For the guys that you speak of that stopped those girls, I would wonder what the circumstances were (how attractive were those women, what did they have going for themselves, how old were they). To me, a major reason for a lot of single black women in DC is not just lack of available black men, but because of poor attitudes and also the stigma of being single parents which will surely be a turn off to many men.

Poor attitudes and single parents?! Not all of us have kids or want them!

I still believe that a black woman in DC has it really tough in the dating scene--especially if she is a college-educated professional. There's simply not enough black men that are on the same level (in terms of education and income potential).

Who's to say we necessarily only want to date black men? There are quite a few of us open to interracial dating. Not everyone is obsessed with race!

African-American women, generally want to find an African-American man. I think most of it has to do with the historical issues found up above. Minefield territory in some ways. I can understand the resistance, even though I don't personally connect or relate to it.

There we go, speaking from generalizations again. If some of you took the time to sit and get to know black women as individuals, you wouldn't be so quick to stereotype and generalize us.

[coldbliss]

I don't buy the "Sausage Fest" theory. First of all, DC is still attracting huge numbers of college-educated women. Emphasis on college-educated.

Someone posted that legal work is a male-dominated field. I beg to differ. Sure, you will see a majority of men at the partner level. The associate level is another story. Just check out some of top DC law firm web sites and pull up the associate profiles. Women are gradually taking over the associate law positions. Women are outpacing dudes when it comes to law school enrollment. You see where this is going.

Women are moving to DC in record numbers because of professional opportunities. Such fields as international development, non-profit fundraising, headhunting career services, and medical services are thriving in DC and women are filling up the majority of positions. I would not be surprised if women make up the majority of science research positions.

The men will continue to occupy roles of power in this town--for now. But the number mid-level and associate-level positions are majority female and they are working their way up the ranks.

Men will also rule certain fields for many years or decades such as IT engineering and programming; intelligence analysis; military official positions; law enforcement; math & engineering teaching.

If public policy trends away from the Homeland Security/Defense priority, then you will see an even greater of shift of female participation in the labor force in the DC region. I can think of the Mommy and Daddy economy analogy: in the 1990s during the Clinton presidency, we had more of a Mommy-oriented economy and in the 2000s, the Daddy economy took over.

The Daddy Economy has been a boon for males with a technical and engineering background. During the 2000s, Washington, DC demanded brains for developing weapons systems, surveillance technologies and human-based security strategies--all of these areas are heavily dominated by males.

In summary, it might appear like DC has become a "Sausage Fest" city because of the spectacular growth in the dude-dominated defense/IT/security industries during the past decade. But I think the Mommy Economy will make a come back with a greater emphasis on private-sector growth based on consumer spending, public service and non-profit foundation activities. There will be so many chicks in this town, you will have to fend them off like crazy.