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Old 11-07-2011, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
17 posts, read 28,621 times
Reputation: 60

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These debates are always entertaining because MEN always swear that women have it easier and that any woman can get a date as long as she presents herself in a good manner. Yet I know first hand how hard it can be. I was told by guys that I was very attractive and had a lot going for me, yet time after time when I went out the men went for my friends who were falling over drunk and obviously an easy lay. That was the same experience a lot of other female friends found as well. WOMEN always say that dating is terrible and that its hard to get a mans attention due to the large volume of women in the area. They say that men have it easier because of the ratio and that DC is a mans playground. And yet looking at these messages, men have cited examples of how difficult it is for them. At the end of the day, I can't really take seriously all of the guys who are trying to tell me how great my dating life is. I lived it and I have plenty of close female friends who lived it as well - we all went out, we all made ourselves presentable and we are all fairly successful. And it was terrible. If you're not a super model or willing to open your legs on the first date, no guy wants to be bothered with you. On the flip side, just as I won't allow my life experiences to be dismissed by guys that think I'm just making this up, I can't dismiss the complaints of any of the men on this board. For whatever reason, dating difficulty for men is their reality. So how do we fix this problem?

 
Old 11-07-2011, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,394 posts, read 15,659,671 times
Reputation: 6262
Maybe the dating scene is just bad for both genders.
 
Old 11-07-2011, 10:21 AM
 
Location: North America
5,960 posts, read 5,531,918 times
Reputation: 1951
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki28M View Post
These debates are always entertaining because MEN always swear that women have it easier and that any woman can get a date as long as she presents herself in a good manner. Yet I know first hand how hard it can be. I was told by guys that I was very attractive and had a lot going for me, yet time after time when I went out the men went for my friends who were falling over drunk and obviously an easy lay. That was the same experience a lot of other female friends found as well. WOMEN always say that dating is terrible and that its hard to get a mans attention due to the large volume of women in the area. They say that men have it easier because of the ratio and that DC is a mans playground. And yet looking at these messages, men have cited examples of how difficult it is for them. At the end of the day, I can't really take seriously all of the guys who are trying to tell me how great my dating life is. I lived it and I have plenty of close female friends who lived it as well - we all went out, we all made ourselves presentable and we are all fairly successful. And it was terrible. If you're not a super model or willing to open your legs on the first date, no guy wants to be bothered with you. On the flip side, just as I won't allow my life experiences to be dismissed by guys that think I'm just making this up, I can't dismiss the complaints of any of the men on this board. For whatever reason, dating difficulty for men is their reality. So how do we fix this problem?
It is very easy for a reasonable looking woman, dressed reasonably with a reasonable attitude to get any man she wants.

Men don't play hard to get.

All you have to do is walk up to one and say, "hi".

Then take it from there.
 
Old 11-07-2011, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
17 posts, read 28,621 times
Reputation: 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by clb10 View Post
It is very easy for a reasonable looking woman, dressed reasonably with a reasonable attitude to get any man she wants.

Men don't play hard to get.

All you have to do is walk up to one and say, "hi".

Then take it from there.
This is always the part of the debate that gets ridiculous. How dare I share my life experiences. Clearly, I must have made them up. Surely, you, someone who has never met me or walked in my shoes can tell me exactly what has happened in my dating life. Please - enlighten me. Are you even female?
 
Old 11-07-2011, 11:22 AM
 
999 posts, read 2,005,527 times
Reputation: 1200
Nikki,

You have to wonder if women have impossible high standards for their male date. What do you women want from us, men? Because it seems like women have this image printed in their minds of what their ideal man should be like thanks to influences from television, cinema, women's fashion magazines and "chick Lit" publications. The media shapes a woman's perception of a loveable, stable and successful male human being.

On the flip side...the corporate media influences the male mind. We judge women by their body shapes because the media tells us that overweight women are unattractive. Fat women are supposed to be ridiculed or to be ignored. Women with crooked teeth or acne blemishes are considered non-dateable persons. Women are judged harshly by their fashion choices too.

I don't have answers. But I know that the media has completely mind****ed our perceptions of each other. Why can't women look past a man's bank account, career choice or whether he is under 6 feet tall? Why can't men look past the size of a woman's behind or her sense of fashion taste? Why do people allow the media to shape their prejudice and stereotypes of the opposite sex?

I don't get it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki28M View Post
These debates are always entertaining because MEN always swear that women have it easier and that any woman can get a date as long as she presents herself in a good manner. Yet I know first hand how hard it can be. I was told by guys that I was very attractive and had a lot going for me, yet time after time when I went out the men went for my friends who were falling over drunk and obviously an easy lay. That was the same experience a lot of other female friends found as well. WOMEN always say that dating is terrible and that its hard to get a mans attention due to the large volume of women in the area. They say that men have it easier because of the ratio and that DC is a mans playground. And yet looking at these messages, men have cited examples of how difficult it is for them. At the end of the day, I can't really take seriously all of the guys who are trying to tell me how great my dating life is. I lived it and I have plenty of close female friends who lived it as well - we all went out, we all made ourselves presentable and we are all fairly successful. And it was terrible. If you're not a super model or willing to open your legs on the first date, no guy wants to be bothered with you. On the flip side, just as I won't allow my life experiences to be dismissed by guys that think I'm just making this up, I can't dismiss the complaints of any of the men on this board. For whatever reason, dating difficulty for men is their reality. So how do we fix this problem?
 
Old 11-07-2011, 12:31 PM
 
Location: DMV
10,125 posts, read 13,939,684 times
Reputation: 3222
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki28M View Post
These debates are always entertaining because MEN always swear that women have it easier and that any woman can get a date as long as she presents herself in a good manner. Yet I know first hand how hard it can be. I was told by guys that I was very attractive and had a lot going for me, yet time after time when I went out the men went for my friends who were falling over drunk and obviously an easy lay. That was the same experience a lot of other female friends found as well. WOMEN always say that dating is terrible and that its hard to get a mans attention due to the large volume of women in the area. They say that men have it easier because of the ratio and that DC is a mans playground. And yet looking at these messages, men have cited examples of how difficult it is for them. At the end of the day, I can't really take seriously all of the guys who are trying to tell me how great my dating life is. I lived it and I have plenty of close female friends who lived it as well - we all went out, we all made ourselves presentable and we are all fairly successful. And it was terrible. If you're not a super model or willing to open your legs on the first date, no guy wants to be bothered with you. On the flip side, just as I won't allow my life experiences to be dismissed by guys that think I'm just making this up, I can't dismiss the complaints of any of the men on this board. For whatever reason, dating difficulty for men is their reality. So how do we fix this problem?
Hmmm...I read this and I can understand where you are coming from a bit more but there are a few things that jumped out at me. Please don't mind me, I am a very analytical person...

Quote:
I was told by guys that I was very attractive and had a lot going for me, yet time after time when I went out the men went for my friends who were falling over drunk and obviously an easy lay
Perhaps this is part of the problem. If you have friends that are falling over drunk and sleeping with men you are dating, YOU NEED NEW FRIENDS! Please don't take this the wrong way, but there is sometimes a common denominator in these situations. If you allow yourself to be around people like that, then they will take advantage of you. If you want men to respect you a) don't bring your friends around when you are still getting to know him and b) don't have friends who don't respect your relationship and your feelings.

Quote:
WOMEN always say that dating is terrible and that its hard to get a mans attention due to the large volume of women in the area.
Maybe you need to find friends that actually have men and can teach you how to be successful at getting one. The problem with both men and women is we put miserable people around us, who would not be happy with us being someone else, so they are the first ones to hate, the first ones to sabotage our relationships but yet we allow them to. When I was about to get married, I was told by several friends of mine that I was making a 'mistake', I didn't know what I was doing and that my wife wasn't the woman for me. Needless to say, I put some distance between me and those friends and now years later these same friends have come to me and told me how much my relationship with my wife has inspired them to settle down and be committed. Both of these guys were extremely bitter, been cheated on and didn't know what a good relationship was. If allowed them to influence me, it would be like the blind leading the blind.
 
Old 11-07-2011, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
17 posts, read 28,621 times
Reputation: 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by meatkins View Post
Hmmm...I read this and I can understand where you are coming from a bit more but there are a few things that jumped out at me. Please don't mind me, I am a very analytical person...



Perhaps this is part of the problem. If you have friends that are falling over drunk and sleeping with men you are dating, YOU NEED NEW FRIENDS! Please don't take this the wrong way, but there is sometimes a common denominator in these situations. If you allow yourself to be around people like that, then they will take advantage of you. If you want men to respect you a) don't bring your friends around when you are still getting to know him and b) don't have friends who don't respect your relationship and your feelings.
LOL - I wasn't dating these men! These were guys that were just out and about. My point was just that men keep saying that all you have to do is be attractive, dress presentable and have a brain in your head and you should have no problems, and yet that hasn't been reality for me and lot of my friends (who aren't falling over drunk). The girls that are the easiest, bitchiest and sloppiest are generally SURROUNDED by men. I've actually been pushed to the side by men trying to get to them. This is just at odds with what I'm hearing on this board. I guess at the end of the day we have to accept that everyones experience and story is different. I'm sure there are plenty of men who don't go after easy girls, just like there are plenty of attractive women that aren't getting much play.
 
Old 11-07-2011, 05:44 PM
 
1,641 posts, read 2,745,172 times
Reputation: 708
Quote:
Originally Posted by clb10 View Post
Intellectual Meat Market Makes Washington Long Odds for Single Women - Bloomberg



This article doesn't make much sense because D.C. is a Mecca for the "Well-Rounded Individual".

D.C. is the type of place where young people "work to live" rather than "live to work".

In D.C., your job is merely a way to finance your true passion...whatever that may be.

If you want to live in a city where people waste their lives in pursuits that involve lots of paperwork (but have little real meaning when you really just slow down and think about it) move to Nashville or New Orleans or some other town where one's Blackberry is surgically attached to one's body.

But don't move to D.C. because Washington is not full of those kinds of people.
I think you might be talking about an "Ideal You" rather than how it is.

Quality of life is better in a lot more places than D.C. and you should know that no city is "work to live" rather than "live to work". It's up to a person to do that, not the city.
 
Old 11-08-2011, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Montgomery County, MD
3,236 posts, read 3,926,157 times
Reputation: 3010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki28M View Post
LOL - I wasn't dating these men! These were guys that were just out and about. My point was just that men keep saying that all you have to do is be attractive, dress presentable and have a brain in your head and you should have no problems, and yet that hasn't been reality for me and lot of my friends (who aren't falling over drunk). The girls that are the easiest, bitchiest and sloppiest are generally SURROUNDED by men. I've actually been pushed to the side by men trying to get to them. This is just at odds with what I'm hearing on this board. I guess at the end of the day we have to accept that everyones experience and story is different. I'm sure there are plenty of men who don't go after easy girls, just like there are plenty of attractive women that aren't getting much play.
Yea, men like women who are friendly and approachable like those types of women you hate on. I would suggest you dress more provocatively, wear more makeup, tan and get down to a size 8 or less. Bluntly, men care a lot about how women look. I'm a guy so I know these things attract me to women. Men especially in the DC area are tired of dowdily dressed hipsters.

This area is great for women because there are almost no gorgeous model type women, the best looking women are just "cute". However I agree the dating scene in general is the very worst everywhere for unattractive women. I'm not saying you are one but men put a lot of emphasis on looks while women don't as much. DC is as good as it gets for women because its the only city I see where I frequently see men being better looking than their woman.

Is it true that guys are attracted to girls who will put out sooner but that doesn't mean they won't also have a relationship with them. I went on a date with a girl and slept with her that night but she became my gf of 3 years. I figure if you're not sleeping with a guy by the third date he has every right to dump you.
 
Old 11-08-2011, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
17 posts, read 28,621 times
Reputation: 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhenomenalAJ View Post
Yea, men like women who are friendly and approachable like those types of women you hate on. I would suggest you dress more provocatively, wear more makeup, tan and get down to a size 8 or less. Bluntly, men care a lot about how women look. I'm a guy so I know these things attract me to women. Men especially in the DC area are tired of dowdily dressed hipsters.

This area is great for women because there are almost no gorgeous model type women, the best looking women are just "cute". However I agree the dating scene in general is the very worst everywhere for unattractive women. I'm not saying you are one but men put a lot of emphasis on looks while women don't as much. DC is as good as it gets for women because its the only city I see where I frequently see men being better looking than their woman.

Is it true that guys are attracted to girls who will put out sooner but that doesn't mean they won't also have a relationship with them. I went on a date with a girl and slept with her that night but she became my gf of 3 years. I figure if you're not sleeping with a guy by the third date he has every right to dump you.
Yes...I'm hating on the women falling over drunk, slurring their words and flashing people. Why can't I be just like them? Fat, unattractive and dowdy doesn't describe me, fortunately. I do find it funny that you can't just disagree without resorting to insulting someone you don't even know. Interesting...arrogant...mean-spirited...and very representative of a lot of the men in DC!
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