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Old 06-08-2011, 07:10 PM
 
Location: DMV
10,125 posts, read 13,921,386 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Missingatlanta View Post
No I believe it equals out or is still better for black guys. You actually have to factor in the fact that a lot of black men have issues and negatives against them. I believe a lot of black women are single because they refuse to drop their standards and date some random dude with multiple issues. Let's not forget that many black men have issues too, multiple baby momma's, criminal records and high incarceration rates, higher rates of unemployment, low rates of college education etc.
When I read this, I wanted to throw my computer out the window. This is just not true. I don't believe all black women in DC are not wife material, but I believe most black women will admit that there are a lot of women in this city that have some serious issues. If you truly believe that these women are single by choice, then you probably don't believe they are baby mothers, have psychological issues, are gay, or just straight up unattractive. If that is the case for you, then you have lost all credibility.

 
Old 06-08-2011, 07:31 PM
 
1,259 posts, read 2,250,590 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meatkins View Post
When I read this, I wanted to throw my computer out the window. This is just not true. I don't believe all black women in DC are not wife material, but I believe most black women will admit that there are a lot of women in this city that have some serious issues. If you truly believe that these women are single by choice, then you probably don't believe they are baby mothers, have psychological issues, are gay, or just straight up unattractive. If that is the case for you, then you have lost all credibility.
Of course not, just as not all black men are husband material. However I do believe many college educated black women are single by choice because there are limited numbers of black men with college education. I've had far too many black dudes here say they can have their pick of women because they have a degree and a good job.

And you should have been ready to throw your computer out over all the terrible stereotypes that poster posted about black women. But I guess that's okay since black guys do that to black women all the time anyway
 
Old 06-08-2011, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Macao
16,265 posts, read 42,984,230 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coldbliss View Post
I don't know. I think women have a tougher time finding a man because the douchebag quotient is much higher in the Washington, DC area than most other major cities.

I still believe that a black woman in DC has it really tough in the dating scene--especially if she is a college-educated professional. There's simply not enough black men that are on the same level (in terms of education and income potential).

Unfortunately, many black women continue to be single because of cross-racial dating barriers. You rarely see white male/black female couples given that DC is an incredibly racial and ethnic diverse city. I don't know whether it is because A.) white men find black women as sexually and socially undesirable or B.) black women see white men as sexually and socially undesirable.

Expanding on Point B, there could also be historical factors for reasons why black women refuse to date white males (i.e. the institution of slavery by white males over the black race). Some of the most heinous violent acts directed towards black women came from white men. The power dynamic has not changed much since 1800s since white males tend to be the bosses and the black females as the worker (or servant). It is far easier to build a romantic relationship with someone who has equal social footing with you and one who empathizes with your struggle. In other words, a privileged and oppressed couple combination does not work so well.

And yes, I would consider a black female with a college degree and a professional job as oppressed.
Whole mix of those, for sure.

I'm white and do find black women very attractive. But the entire 'historical past' is a headcase socially for dating. There seems to be a lot of perception that all white people were slaveowners, wealthy, priveledged, british colonialist descentants, waspy-types, etc. These days as yuppies, ivy league types, etc. - which I don't relate to, but symbolically associated as for having white skin. If you're white you're either a redneck or a yuppie and not much imbetween. Perception-wise on a racial level.

I don't personally associate myself with anything of any of that nature. Grew up of poor Irish Catholic stock...who historically had their own serious anti-brit, anti-protestant, issues, etc. A group of people who generally just went middle class in the 1950s & 60s, around the civil rights era.

Anyways, back on topic. As a person who use to enjoy the company of black women before I got married (especially when I lived in nyc). Generally I found that immigrants from Carribbean, Africa, etc. were always open to dating white, as they are in the here and now when it comes to racial relations. They were more of the 'he's a human being, I'm a human being' mindset, without getting bogged down in the symbolics of it.

African-American women, generally want to find an African-American man. I think most of it has to do with the historical issues found up above. Minefield territory in some ways. I can understand the resistance, even though I don't personally connect or relate to it.
 
Old 06-08-2011, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Crooklyn, New York
31,897 posts, read 34,410,920 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Missingatlanta View Post
Of course not, just as not all black men are husband material. However I do believe many college educated black women are single by choice because there are limited numbers of black men with college education. I've had far too many black dudes here say they can have their pick of women because they have a degree and a good job.
I have a friend who says she has her pick of men because she is attractive, thin and has long hair. I don't think attractive women are complaining out in these streets. They're like Jay-Z. Their product's gonna move on any Martin Luther, no matter the weather.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Missingatlanta View Post
And you should have been ready to throw your computer out over all the terrible stereotypes that poster posted about black women. But I guess that's okay since black guys do that to black women all the time anyway
Stereotypes don't materialize out of thin air. Anyway, the obesity thing was FACT.
 
Old 06-08-2011, 08:13 PM
 
Location: East of Eden
193 posts, read 448,771 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiger Beer View Post
I don't personally associate myself with anything of any of that nature. Grew up of poor Irish Catholic stock...who historically had their own serious anti-brit, anti-protestant, issues, etc. A group of people who generally just went middle class in the 1950s & 60s, around the civil rights era.

Anyways, back on topic. As a person who use to enjoy the company of black women before I got married (especially when I lived in nyc). Generally I found that immigrants from Carribbean, Africa, etc. were always open to dating white, as they are in the here and now when it comes to racial relations. They were more of the 'he's a human being, I'm a human being' mindset, without getting bogged down in the symbolics of it.

African-American women, generally want to find an African-American man. I think most of it has to do with the historical issues found up above. Minefield territory in some ways. I can understand the resistance, even though I don't personally connect or relate to it.
Exactly. The book "How the Irish Became White" is quite revealing.

From my observations, I agree that Caribbean and African women have no issues with dating white men. I think that, because African-Americans are a minority here, there is more pressure to date within the race to keep perpetuating the race. Caribbean and African women don't seem to have this as a backdrop because in those countries, black people make up almost the entire population so no pressure to date within the race. Also, white men may be associated with wealth and so might be seen as a prize, not as descendants of slave owning rapists.
 
Old 06-08-2011, 11:44 PM
 
Location: Standing outside of heaven, wating for God to come and get me.
1,382 posts, read 3,704,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Fairfaxian View Post
And to add to that, most non-ghetto educated black men don't have options for IR dating in Washington DC. I've seen 10x more black women/white men couples in the District than I have black men/non-black women. And the "educated" HBCU black crowd tends to be cliquey. So if you're an educated black dude but didn't care too much for the black culture or if you were new in town, then the options for dating in the city limits are very limited.


But here's where most black women lose credibility: The black men who have "issues" are the ones who are getting any action by most black women, and it's not the hoodrats who go after the "brothas with issues." This is especially the case for those in DC.

Funny thing is that many black women bemoan black men who don't have an education and a steady stream of income. But when a black guy get those things, they're either "not fly/g/swag/black enough," or they're put down instantly by being told "you ain't nuthing special boy!"


And those black women who are truly good looking, feminine, humble, well spoken, of a good company, and have common sense tend to date outside of their race anyway, so what's the use?

What is it with you and HBCU grads? What have we done to you to make you so against us. It is a boatload of HBCU grads in the DMV. That is just the reality of the situation and a lot of people tend to hang out with people they have something in common with.
 
Old 06-09-2011, 12:10 AM
 
339 posts, read 834,719 times
Reputation: 333
Quote:
Originally Posted by ahales View Post
Weren't you the same cat complaining about the chicks at Howard?
Nah. I like HU girls. Best looking black chics I've ever seen.


I think DC is just bad for single men all around. Doesn't matter what race you belong to.
 
Old 06-09-2011, 07:50 AM
 
Location: DMV
10,125 posts, read 13,921,386 times
Reputation: 3222
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missingatlanta View Post
Of course not, just as not all black men are husband material. However I do believe many college educated black women are single by choice because there are limited numbers of black men with college education. I've had far too many black dudes here say they can have their pick of women because they have a degree and a good job.

And you should have been ready to throw your computer out over all the terrible stereotypes that poster posted about black women. But I guess that's okay since black guys do that to black women all the time anyway
No offense, but you sound really bitter. I commented on your post because I relate more to what you said than anything other thing that was posted. I've been around women from DC who are educated, who have been desperate to get into relationship, so I just disagree on the accuracy of your assertion. Does that mean I agree with everything that has been said about black women? No.

You stated that:

Quote:
I believe a lot of black women are single because they refuse to drop their standards and date some random dude with multiple issues.
This is completely untrue. Like most people in society, people are becoming noncommittal. There are a lot of people who refuse to settle down, but yet they are taking the benefits of a long term relationship, namely having relations with their partners. As a result, there are a lot of babies being born out of wedlock. I believe the statistics state that 72% of black babies are born out of wedlock. 60% of black college graduates are women, which means more than likely there is some correlation because black women who have degrees and black women having babies out of wedlock.

What's my point? Women who have children out of wedlock are less likely to be able to get into long term relationships. The baggage of baby-daddy drama, the responsibility of someone else's children, and the lack of availability all play a role in how attractive men see women. Point blank, I know very few women who are willing to accept being single, usually it by circumstances. I've known many women who have allowed themselves to be cheated on, abused, taken advantage of, or date just about anyone even with a college degree. If you believe having college degree somehow give these women some sort of entitlement, then you've clearly missed some things. These women are lying if they are telling you that they choose to be single.

And just to think I just covered baby momma drama. I didn't even mention how unattractive some women may be, mental illnesses, or just bitterness against men.
 
Old 06-09-2011, 07:55 AM
 
Location: DMV
10,125 posts, read 13,921,386 times
Reputation: 3222
Quote:
Originally Posted by ahales View Post
What is it with you and HBCU grads? What have we done to you to make you so against us. It is a boatload of HBCU grads in the DMV. That is just the reality of the situation and a lot of people tend to hang out with people they have something in common with.
I think he's right to an extent, but I think there are a lot of black people who go to TWIs that are insecure about their 'blackness' and have a hard time fitting in. Sometimes they feel they have to overcompensate for their blackness. I have a friend that was like that, and it really is hard for him to relate to the black college experience. That's no knock on him, but we just had different experiences.
 
Old 06-09-2011, 10:03 AM
 
Location: SE
331 posts, read 1,194,349 times
Reputation: 146
Quote:
Originally Posted by meatkins View Post
No offense, but you sound really bitter. I commented on your post because I relate more to what you said than anything other thing that was posted. I've been around women from DC who are educated, who have been desperate to get into relationship, so I just disagree on the accuracy of your assertion. Does that mean I agree with everything that has been said about black women? No.

You stated that:



This is completely untrue. Like most people in society, people are becoming noncommittal. There are a lot of people who refuse to settle down, but yet they are taking the benefits of a long term relationship, namely having relations with their partners. As a result, there are a lot of babies being born out of wedlock. I believe the statistics state that 72% of black babies are born out of wedlock. 60% of black college graduates are women, which means more than likely there is some correlation because black women who have degrees and black women having babies out of wedlock.

What's my point? Women who have children out of wedlock are less likely to be able to get into long term relationships. The baggage of baby-daddy drama, the responsibility of someone else's children, and the lack of availability all play a role in how attractive men see women. Point blank, I know very few women who are willing to accept being single, usually it by circumstances. I've known many women who have allowed themselves to be cheated on, abused, taken advantage of, or date just about anyone even with a college degree. If you believe having college degree somehow give these women some sort of entitlement, then you've clearly missed some things. These women are lying if they are telling you that they choose to be single.

And just to think I just covered baby momma drama. I didn't even mention how unattractive some women may be, mental illnesses, or just bitterness against men.
I don't think she sounded bitter at all. I wholeheartedly agree with her. I am single again and I hate it. But I REFUSE to drop my standards and date some randome dude with issues. Been there, done that too many times. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life alone I will never compromise again.
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