Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The ironic thing, once you have a girlfriend/wife, all kinds of women come out of everywhere showing interest.
Because of that, I'd recommend finding a few female friends that you do things with once in awhile. Any other female that sees a male with a female, seems to have sudden interest in the guy. They do the whole 'I wonder what she sees in him' and than suddenly see something that they like as well.
That's part of it and certainly a huge help in many cases.
The other part is actually approaching a female in a natural setting.
If she's at a bar right after work on Wednesday, her hair is frazzled/work shoes on/she's in bitching with co-workers mode and her creds are dangling by a thread because she's too burnt to remember to remove them before someone notices them, approach with caution and humor.
If she's not looking rough on a Wednesday after work, then she's sucking someone off to get ahead. This is DC after all. We all look like Hillary if we're to be taken remotely seriously by our fellow Hillary bosses.
If she's at a bar on Friday night with the super tight red top, 6" heels and heavy eyeliner... you don't know what you're waking up to and she's probably sucking off a few people at work to get ahead.
As for the original poster... you're normal for going home, watching the tube and occasionally hitting up the gym. But it doesn't get you a date.
I would try more online and not give it up just yet. Stop only hitting up the ones with pics that you masturbate to and try for females that aren't in DC. The majority of people who are not in a major metro area for their careers are willing to relocate to a metro area for someone they care about.
Grocery store. You know if she's single, had kids or lives with someone. If she's there on a Friday or Saturday night and buying frozen pizza, that's easy picking. If she's there on Friday night buying baby food, enough said. If she's there on a Saturday night buying steel cut oats and soy milk... you know what you're in for.
Home Depot and the likes. If she's buying cabinet knobs, she's married. If she's buying lick 'em and stick 'em wall decals, she's single and broke. If she's confused in the power tool section she's either just divorced or just bought her first condo.
Laundromats close to apartment complexes. You'll find out more than you'd ever want to know on 5 dates about who and what she is. You'll know if she's still into Hello Kitty at the ripe old age of 30 (and obviously still single), or if she's a washing big brown hideous blanket, you know it's for her boyfriend.
Museums. Boring and over done but useful even if she's in a group. If you catch her staring at modern art or a concrete parking lot divider painted pink with a green string glued on it, and she's really serious about it, you'll know what you're getting. Miss Steel Cut Oats with soy milk. If she's playing with the laser installation and making Jetson gun noises while her friends are going on about post modern crap, you'll know what you're in for there too and why you need to pull her away from that group.
Coffee houses. Is she ordering the new hipster green coffee from Starbucks and dipping an almond biscotti into it? Or is she sucking it down black with a chocolate chip cookie on her plate and crumbs on her shirt?
Seriously, guys in this town can't complain about women looking like Hillary Clinton or acting like Paris Hilton if they're not willing to notice anything in between.
And like I've previously said, these women currently live in DC. But the vast majority are not FROM the area and like any normal person, would enjoy a chat with a guy who isn't asking them what agency they work for and if there are any openings that haven't been posted yet.
That's part of it and certainly a huge help in many cases.
The other part is actually approaching a female in a natural setting.
If she's at a bar right after work on Wednesday, her hair is frazzled/work shoes on/she's in bitching with co-workers mode and her creds are dangling by a thread because she's too burnt to remember to remove them before someone notices them, approach with caution and humor.
If she's not looking rough on a Wednesday after work, then she's sucking someone off to get ahead. This is DC after all. We all look like Hillary if we're to be taken remotely seriously by our fellow Hillary bosses.
If she's at a bar on Friday night with the super tight red top, 6" heels and heavy eyeliner... you don't know what you're waking up to and she's probably sucking off a few people at work to get ahead.
As for the original poster... you're normal for going home, watching the tube and occasionally hitting up the gym. But it doesn't get you a date.
I would try more online and not give it up just yet. Stop only hitting up the ones with pics that you masturbate to and try for females that aren't in DC. The majority of people who are not in a major metro area for their careers are willing to relocate to a metro area for someone they care about.
Grocery store. You know if she's single, had kids or lives with someone. If she's there on a Friday or Saturday night and buying frozen pizza, that's easy picking. If she's there on Friday night buying baby food, enough said. If she's there on a Saturday night buying steel cut oats and soy milk... you know what you're in for.
Home Depot and the likes. If she's buying cabinet knobs, she's married. If she's buying lick 'em and stick 'em wall decals, she's single and broke. If she's confused in the power tool section she's either just divorced or just bought her first condo.
Laundromats close to apartment complexes. You'll find out more than you'd ever want to know on 5 dates about who and what she is. You'll know if she's still into Hello Kitty at the ripe old age of 30 (and obviously still single), or if she's a washing big brown hideous blanket, you know it's for her boyfriend.
Museums. Boring and over done but useful even if she's in a group. If you catch her staring at modern art or a concrete parking lot divider painted pink with a green string glued on it, and she's really serious about it, you'll know what you're getting. Miss Steel Cut Oats with soy milk. If she's playing with the laser installation and making Jetson gun noises while her friends are going on about post modern crap, you'll know what you're in for there too and why you need to pull her away from that group.
Coffee houses. Is she ordering the new hipster green coffee from Starbucks and dipping an almond biscotti into it? Or is she sucking it down black with a chocolate chip cookie on her plate and crumbs on her shirt?
Seriously, guys in this town can't complain about women looking like Hillary Clinton or acting like Paris Hilton if they're not willing to notice anything in between.
And like I've previously said, these women currently live in DC. But the vast majority are not FROM the area and like any normal person, would enjoy a chat with a guy who isn't asking them what agency they work for and if there are any openings that haven't been posted yet.
Haha... I'm not bitter because I haven't seriously tried to date in this town.
Yet.
I'm here for my career and if I meet someone I like, then so much the better for me.
I won't bother denying that the whole "What agency, any openings" conversation is tiring. But that's not unique to this town. That's just par for the course working for the feds. I don't mind talking shop at all. But when you start asking about openings, I back away. If you're a Fed who's happy in your career path, you'd understand why that conversation so tiring.
I'm just sharing my experience. So far, I've seen no reason why the DC scene should be any different from any other major metro area I've lived in. No matter what town you're in, you've got ivy leaguers, fake ivy leagers, stuffed shirts, gold diggers, hanger on-ers, drainers and bangers.
I happen to call a soy milk drinking, martini sipping in heels at a sports bar, steal cut oats eating, cat loving female, a high maintenance hipster chick regardless of where I happen to live.
Does that sound bitter?
Maybe to you it does, and I'm fine with that. It just means we come from different experiences in life which shape our perspective, how we communicate those experiences and what we want from potential partners.
Which brings me back to my original point.
We (both genders) may live in DC, but we're not from DC and it's counterproductive to categorize anyone by the town they live or work in, like it's a skin color or ethnicity.
That is all. Bar scene= meeting marrieds who are tired of being married, tourists, or jerks (male and female). DC is a networking town. Ask your friends to make recommendations. Go to happy hour with colleagues. Forget online, forget clubs. Chance encounters can be worthwhile if very awkard and you risk being taken for a stalker. Ask your pals and colleagues.
Thanks to everyone for chiming in. Although I had to take a shower after reading mrskay's post. Dates through networking have definitely yielded the best results in the past, but lately haven't been reliable. I've been told I have a calming effect on people, and so everyone introduces me to their "crazy" friend. Seriously. However, a few people have talked about female friends. Is it just me, or do those rarely work? In my experience, someone always starts feeling something for the other, or they have a SO who's not (understandably) keen on our hanging out. How do you guys deal with expectations in these platonic relationships?
After my recent visit to DC I have to weigh in on what was said in the other dating threads:
-It is very true that guys appear to outnumber girls in the bars. I saw this firsthand, remembered all the complaints in the other threads and had to laugh. In Clarendon there must have been 5 guys for every 1 girl. Right in the city there were far more females...but the guys still outnumbered them.
-The girls I did see out were attached to a boyfriend more often than not. And yes, I did notice that many of the men were far more attractive than their female partners.
-I saw many beautiful (seriously beautiful) girls out having lunch/walking around the city. Not so much at the bars.
-I saw a few white guys with asian girls, but wasn't enough to make me wonder.
I noticed a trend in Clarendon bars for groups to 'stick together' and seldom make eye-contact with others (the group of 4 guys huddled around 1 girl...the PDA couple among friends...the gay guys). I really didn't see a group of JUST girls!
In the city people (MEN) were much more willing to speak to people outside of their groups. This intensified towards the end of the night (wonder why *cough*). Girls were either in bachelorette parties or with their partners. As I was there with just one other female friend, we got much attention.
All-in-all, I see why there is frustration for men.
Thanks to everyone for chiming in. Although I had to take a shower after reading mrskay's post. Dates through networking have definitely yielded the best results in the past, but lately haven't been reliable. I've been told I have a calming effect on people, and so everyone introduces me to their "crazy" friend. Seriously. However, a few people have talked about female friends. Is it just me, or do those rarely work? In my experience, someone always starts feeling something for the other, or they have a SO who's not (understandably) keen on our hanging out. How do you guys deal with expectations in these platonic relationships?
All my best friends are also girls-there are maybe two good guy friends I have from college, but most of my other "guy friends" are more like acquaintances. I just can't see a guy and girl getting that close without them eventually falling for each other. I don't think that's a bad thing though--I would personally prefer to be friends with a guy before dating... then you really get to know each other beforehand. When you date, you only try to show your good side. One bad remark and they'll write you off in a heartbeat. People need to realize it takes more than a three hour conversation to get a real feel for how well you might mesh with someone in the long-term
After my recent visit to DC I have to weigh in on what was said in the other dating threads:
-It is very true that guys appear to outnumber girls in the bars. I saw this firsthand, remembered all the complaints in the other threads and had to laugh. In Clarendon there must have been 5 guys for every 1 girl. Right in the city there were far more females...but the guys still outnumbered them.
-The girls I did see out were attached to a boyfriend more often than not. And yes, I did notice that many of the men were far more attractive than their female partners.
-I saw many beautiful (seriously beautiful) girls out having lunch/walking around the city. Not so much at the bars.
-I saw a few white guys with asian girls, but wasn't enough to make me wonder.
I noticed a trend in Clarendon bars for groups to 'stick together' and seldom make eye-contact with others (the group of 4 guys huddled around 1 girl...the PDA couple among friends...the gay guys). I really didn't see a group of JUST girls!
In the city people (MEN) were much more willing to speak to people outside of their groups. This intensified towards the end of the night (wonder why *cough*). Girls were either in bachelorette parties or with their partners. As I was there with just one other female friend, we got much attention.
All-in-all, I see why there is frustration for men.
This is fairly typical of all nightlife in all cities anywhere. You'll never find a city that routinely has a lot more women getting plastered and spending their money in bars than men.
This is fairly typical of all nightlife in all cities anywhere. You'll never find a city that routinely has a lot more women getting plastered and spending their money in bars than men.
It was different than the bar scene in Buffalo, I'll say that. I was pleasantly surprised by the large amount and variety of men (coupled with a serious lack of female presence). When I go out here up north there are a lot more females. Almost too many interested in the same guys...like we have the opposite problem.
I was only there for a weekend and DC is obviously a much larger city, but undoubtedly it was enough of a difference to make me take notice and agree with the other posters in the former threads.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
