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First, this is not a DC bashing thread. I am not indirectly taking a swipe at all. I just want to get to the root of it once and for all. So retract your claws and let's have intimate DC conversation. Don't bring up or compare any other city because there is NO OTHER city like DC in terms of its mission and concentration of government focus jobs. In fact, many of you have seen me come to terms in actually explaining to others why DC is the way it is and how many who live here should be a bit more understanding of newcomers.
But therein lies the biggest Irony of it all- DC has so many people who are NOT from DC. But yet, people here get extremely defensive when others question why DC is the way it is. This is why I often use the terms reaching, inferiority complex and thread buffer when referring to how defensive people can be here- both on forums and in real life. I have done tons of research and every hate DC thread revolves around the people, culture, and commute. People literally come here expecting big city life but then realize that it isn't like other major cities. But they get clobbered for even questioning and told to leave because either they are looking in the WRONG PLACES or they don't have enough money. But DC is but this big. How many wrong places are there lol? Think about that...
To add to that, many DC thread buffers will straight up tell people that DC is too expensive and that if they don't have a college degree, stay away from it. But then they turn around and totally bash the newcomers who may not be a GS 13-15 like the rest of us. It's totally insane.
To quote a good friend of mine, who practically breaks down all what I have said, but in the most simplest 1 paragraph form:
Quote:
Some of the people in DC are actually here for the jobs. For many, D.C. is part of the journey, not the destination. Not everyone here is a fan of the "then leave" attitude, and what comes with it. There is a certain cut throat attitude in the D.C. area that reeks of desperation. Some people prefer how people from home act. There are other places in the U.S. that have a high number of educated and accomplished people, museums, diversity, culture, and more. Outsiders find some people over the top, hostile, and unintentionally comedic in their defense of this area.
In so many words, how many times have I or others posters said the above about DC folk being so defensive? But again, aren't the insiders and outsiders one in the same? Isn't DC supposed to be this giant transient place where people come to work then leave? Do you see what I am mean? It's such a strange phenomenon. Take a look at the "why is DC vague" thread and the OP was ran out by posters absolutely gunning for her. And half of those people are not even from DC originally.
So tell me, what is the root of all this? Where does it come from? Remember now, you have to be nice because Yac is watching...
Location: That star on your map in the middle of the East Coast, DMV
8,128 posts, read 7,560,868 times
Reputation: 5785
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfamazing
But therein lies the biggest Irony of it all- DC has so many people who are NOT from DC. But yet, people here get extremely defensive when others question why DC is the way it is. This is why I often use the terms reaching, inferiority complex and thread buffer when referring to how defensive people can be here- both on forums and in real life. I have done tons of research and every hate DC thread revolves around the people, culture, and commute. People literally come here expecting big city life but then realize that it isn't like other major cities. But they get clobbered for even questioning and told to leave because either they are looking in the WRONG PLACES or they don't have enough money. But DC is but this big. How many wrong places are there lol? Think about that...
Please explain, not like other major cities? How so, which ones etc.
Yes when people come here and ask questions like "why isn't DC as lively as London and NYC?" as was asked in a recent thread of course people are going to think it's a weird question because it IS a weird question. It boggles my mind why anyone would expect DC to be like NYC or London.
2 points I have to make here:
1st - yes I am watching
2nd - if you don't feel like discussing this, for whatever reason, don't post in the thread. It's that simple and I am sure this way we'll have a lot less pointless fighting here. You also won't bump the thread back up to the top.
Yac.
People literally come here expecting big city life but then realize that it isn't like other major cities. But they get clobbered for even questioning and told to leave because either they are looking in the WRONG PLACES or they don't have enough money. But DC is but this big. How many wrong places are there lol? Think about that...
Washington DC is similar in magnitude and amenities to cities like Boston, San Francisco, Toronto and Philadelphia. These are all what I call second tier global cities.
Some of these cities have a little more of this, other cities have a little more of that. But on balance, it works out to be pretty even.
First, this is not a DC bashing thread. I am not indirectly taking a swipe at all. I just want to get to the root of it once and for all. So retract your claws and let's have intimate DC conversation. Don't bring up or compare any other city because there is NO OTHER city like DC in terms of its mission and concentration of government focus jobs. In fact, many of you have seen me come to terms in actually explaining to others why DC is the way it is and how many who live here should be a bit more understanding of newcomers.
But therein lies the biggest Irony of it all- DC has so many people who are NOT from DC. But yet, people here get extremely defensive when others question why DC is the way it is. This is why I often use the terms reaching, inferiority complex and thread buffer when referring to how defensive people can be here- both on forums and in real life. I have done tons of research and every hate DC thread revolves around the people, culture, and commute. People literally come here expecting big city life but then realize that it isn't like other major cities. But they get clobbered for even questioning and told to leave because either they are looking in the WRONG PLACES or they don't have enough money. But DC is but this big. How many wrong places are there lol? Think about that...
To add to that, many DC thread buffers will straight up tell people that DC is too expensive and that if they don't have a college degree, stay away from it. But then they turn around and totally bash the newcomers who may not be a GS 13-15 like the rest of us. It's totally insane.
To quote a good friend of mine, who practically breaks down all what I have said, but in the most simplest 1 paragraph form:
In so many words, how many times have I or others posters said the above about DC folk being so defensive? But again, aren't the insiders and outsiders one in the same? Isn't DC supposed to be this giant transient place where people come to work then leave? Do you see what I am mean? It's such a strange phenomenon. Take a look at the "why is DC vague" thread and the OP was ran out by posters absolutely gunning for her. And half of those people are not even from DC originally.
So tell me, what is the root of all this? Where does it come from? Remember now, you have to be nice because Yac is watching...
I don't know that it's actually a defensive complex or just different perspectives on things.
This is purely anecdotal (no way to measure this really), but as you mentioned, DC is very transient. When I used to live in the area, what I noticed was that people from somewhere else (especially major metros in the Northeast, west coast, Midwest, or Florida) kept a strong attachment to wherever they were from. They never fully adopted DC as "home" whether that was because they had plans to eventually move back to where they were originally from or something else, I don't know? When you keep an attachment to "home" (wherever that may be), I think sometimes people inadvertently unfairly compare DC to "home" because that's what they are used to, and that may be why you get responses from DC people that may seem defensive.
Also, while there are a lot of transplants in the DC area, there are also a lot of natives who know the city/area well and they may just be trying to explain things to a transplant or someone with a different perspective. It may come across as a defense complex, but I think a lot of times they are just trying to respond.
In Chicago, it's very different. It seems like within a year of living here, the vast majority of people consider Chicago "home." I have friends here from NYC, Cali, and all over who will always be New Yorkers/Californians/etc at the heart, but they consider themselves Chicagoans now. While Chicago does have a good amount of transplants, many are from Midwest Big Ten country so Chicago is kind of the pinnacle for them and they don't find a lot of fault with it. Same with many of the other transplants who accept Chicago as "home" right away. They love the city and consider it theirs, so they don't frequently find a lot of faults with it or compare it to where they are originally from. I've found NYC, SF, Boston, and Philly to be the same; where they have strong, local cultures that people usually buy into and quickly become a part in of.
So basically, from a purely anecdotal perspective, while a few DC people may come off as defensive, I think a lot of the time they are just trying to understand/explain to a lot of people who have complaints, since the area is very transient and for whatever reason, a lot of people (speaking only from my personal experience) never fully embrace DC as "home" and consequently, sometimes may (unfairly) always try to compare it to where they are from.
In Chicago, it's very different. It seems like within a year of living here, the vast majority of people consider Chicago "home." I have friends here from NYC, Cali, and all over who will always be New Yorkers/Californians/etc at the heart, but they consider themselves Chicagoans now. While Chicago does have a good amount of transplants, many are from Midwest Big Ten country so Chicago is kind of the pinnacle for them and they don't find a lot of fault with it. Same with many of the other transplants who accept Chicago as "home" right away. They love the city and consider it theirs, so they don't frequently find a lot of faults with it or compare it to where they are originally from. I've found NYC, SF, Boston, and Philly to be the same; where they have strong, local cultures that people usually buy into and quickly become a part in of.
So basically, from a purely anecdotal perspective, while a few DC people may come off as defensive, I think a lot of the time they are just trying to understand/explain to a lot of people who have complaints, since the area is very transient and for whatever reason, a lot of people (speaking only from my personal experience) never fully embrace DC as "home" and consequently, sometimes may (unfairly) always try to compare it to where they are from.
This is a very interesting observation. It explains what people mean when they say "DC has no soul". I think there are a few reasons for this:
1. DC is the seat of American Government and American Government is transient by design: Every time a new administration comes into town.. the original people leave and new people come. That is something built into DC.
2. DC "the city" has only recently come of age. For a long time it was mostly a place to work and most people would leave between 5pm and 6pm and head to Maryland or Virginia where "home" was. Then on weekends they might come to DC to party only to leave again on Sunday morning. So outside of the local black culture.. no real culture formed.
I think #1 is most important because most major cities are know for something or have a particular industry they deal with. In all cities but DC.. those industries are not transient. You have generation after generation continuing in the footsteps of those before them. When it comes to Government office.. this is not really the case. People come to work for a particular administration and leave with that administration.
However.. I think this will change now that DC "the city" has become an attractive place for the private sector. Ultimately, this will lead to more people sticking around and a stronger sense of community and culture over time.
The main thing DC needs is an identity outside of "the Government". When you think of Paris or most other capital cities you don't necessarily think "the Government". Some of this has to do with the media and how DC is portrayed. However, I think it will change in time as local artists, chefs, and businesses start to shape a more authentic non-Government culture for DC.
With all that said. DC is not Mars. People are people at the end of the day and if you try you will make friends pretty easily. One thing I love about DC is how easy it is to make new friends, network and date new women. The supply is unlimited because new people come constantly. If you are a very independent and self-contained person.. DC is heaven. People tend to do there own thing here and give you space without drama. It doesn't feel like high school where everyone is part of some "group" that you can't penetrate.
Honestly, I think part of the reason DC never feels like "home" to some is because many of the friends you make might eventually leave town, leaving you to start fresh every few years or so. This goes back to being self-contained. If your identity is too connected to your friends then it creates issues when they leave. DC is not really a place to "find yourself" its more a place to be yourself. If you're still finding yourself and trying to figure out who you are DC will not give you much direction. Another thing about DC is people tend to be focused on nationwide and worldwide issues going on. In most other cities.. local issues dominate the conversation which adds to the "community feel" that helps people bond.
I dont know why people indulge. This has been this guy's rant for like 5 years. Women in DC cant get laid apparently and Washingtonians are "defensive." Some things never change.
1. People in DC are no more defensive than any other city
2. Most people who criticizes DC make inaccurate, shallow or silly claims about DC
3. If someone doesn't like a city they really should leave. Same with a bad relationship. No one wants to listen to a cry baby.
Well said.
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