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Old 10-28-2008, 04:04 PM
 
83 posts, read 309,239 times
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I know by definition this type (me, until I get to know someone) of people would have harder time finding new people to meet. But I figure there are so many single people in DC, I just need to know where to go.

So here I am, in a place where there are tons of professional singles, even in their 30s. Where do people go, especially if they are new in town? I have gone to the Mall area, walking my dog everywhere, going to see plays, etc. Everyone has a friend or 2. I have friends from school, but they are all married and/or work far away.

Tried meetup.com and similar sites. The turn out is usually so small and some of them charge too much. And most seems to be for 20 something.

I apologize if I sound like I am complaining. I love this area. it beats where I used to live. But I really miss having a good friend or 2 around.

Any suggestions? I doubt it by walking in a specific area is going to get me friends. I would like to know if there are maybe sports league for armatures, etc.

Thanks!
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Old 10-28-2008, 04:08 PM
 
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I'm gathering the bars are a no go...

Have you tried something like the Young Benefactors of the Smithsonian? They often have parties at different museums which are a tad more intimate than big bashes you see in DC (though they also usually have a monster one at the Air and Space Museum every year).

Welcome to the Smithsonian Young Benefactors
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Old 10-28-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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Since you're single I'd start with dating sites (match.com, OKcupid if you're cheap, etc). In my experience you actually can make friends that way. Date someone a few times and and even if it doesn't go anywhere it may change into a friendship. Obviously that's not the best way to make same sex friends.

Also I know a lot of people are really into kickball leagues. Some are extremely shy.
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Old 10-29-2008, 08:04 AM
 
1,230 posts, read 4,228,956 times
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I know how you feel--that was me several years ago. These are the places where I met friends:

Church Singles Group
Volunteer Work (I got involved with a group that did pet therapy for senior citizens and another one that mentored children)
Through people at work (I accepted invitations to go to lunch, picnics, happy hour, etc.)
And ChrisHerbert is right. You can meet people through dating sites or personal ads. If dating is not something you want to do, consider placing an ad yourself to meet someone who shares some of your interests.
Take a class in the evenings
Get involved in a sports league
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Old 10-29-2008, 08:55 AM
 
Location: DC
3,218 posts, read 7,722,601 times
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I understand your problem, believe me, I'm the same way. Luckily I moved here with a roommate and some college friends, which helped. Outside of that, most of the people I've met have been through work and (as someone mentioned) kickball. With work, when I first got here we didn't do anything except have a happy hour when someone left. Eventually I talked to someone else who was interested in organizing a happy hour, and now it's a fairly regular thing. Once we just started talking about it we realized other people were interested too. As for kickball, it's actually a lot of fun. You can join as an "independent" and you'll get shuffled onto a team. Even though we started a team with some friends, most of our team ended up being "independents", which made it great for meeting people (we're one of the youngest teams in our league, aged 22-34, most of the other teams are in their late 20s into their 30s). There's also softball leagues and such that are similar.

As for bars, I find it hard to meet people there on just an average night. However, when I go to watch sports games it's not a problem whatsoever. Even if you're not that into the sport, it's still fun to be around all the excited people. Murphy's in Old Town can be fun by yourself as well, since they have the Irish music and everyone participates. It's always a fun crowd when I go there.

It's the hardest thing in the world, but you really just have to put yourself out there. Even though I'm still naturally shy, I've figured out how to "fake" being a little outgoing and it helps (I say "fake" because it still makes me very uncomfortable).
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Old 10-29-2008, 10:40 AM
 
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I don't like meetup or meetin either.

Don't know much about kickball, but you should do it b/c you enjoy playing kickball (otherwise, maybe it's not a good choice).

Otherwise, I agree with the above. If you go out and are friendly or receptive when men approach (which they will), you'll meet plenty of people. Of course, you need to be firm when you're not interested but don't shut everyone out. You really should put yourself out there, as meeting people doesn't just happen (at least very often).
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Old 10-29-2008, 04:04 PM
 
83 posts, read 309,239 times
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Thanks all for the help. If any of you come back to read this reply, where do I find all the sports leagues? I am not good at sports but love to do it. I am just too worried about dragging the team down!

Do people on dating sites want to be just friends? I told some people that and they would get pissed!!

I will try the volunteer thing. I am in the process to volunteer for a hospital, but thru church would be nice, too!

One last question, which you can tell I am so bad at talking to strangers. People approach me to talk about my dog, but then they just leave. Should I say something different, like I am new to the area.... and maybe get their # or give them my #? That seems so strange to me.
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Old 10-29-2008, 04:17 PM
 
1,230 posts, read 4,228,956 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JL2010 View Post
Do people on dating sites want to be just friends? I told some people that and they would get pissed!!
I think overall dating sites are for "dating," but if in your profile you state that you are seeking friendship first then you are being forthright about your intentions. I do know that the City Paper and the Washington Post sometimes have personal ads of people seeking platonic relationships/friendships, particularly for playing sports (e.g., tennis).

Quote:
Originally Posted by JL2010 View Post
People approach me to talk about my dog, but then they just leave. Should I say something different, like I am new to the area.... and maybe get their # or give them my #? That seems so strange to me.
You can try that--you'll know when the person seems approachable. An alternative is to exchange personal email addresses. I found it "safer" than giving out my phone number to a stranger.
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Old 10-29-2008, 04:35 PM
 
2,399 posts, read 3,136,968 times
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Don't join a dating site to meet friends. You don't need them to find friends or dates.

You can gauge when someone is interested. If you're interested, don't be afraid to make the first move. Keep the conversation going, ask for the other person's name and, if you'd like to be in contact, exchange email addresses first. It might help to give yours out first. Phone numbers are adequate as well, but I also prefer to start less personal. When talking to strangers in general, I keep it light and very vague at first. I usually don't eve give out my name until I have a sense that the other person doesn't think I'm a lune and vice versa. I say start with the vague, generic BS after they ask about your dog and then get less vague if you're interested.

I haven't had the best of luck but, when I do strike up random chat, it's usually fairly well received. You'll know when then other is interested and when they are not.
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Old 10-30-2008, 04:23 PM
 
209 posts, read 718,035 times
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Just to clarify, I don't think you should join a dating site JUST to meet platonic friends. If you are not at least somewhat open to a romantic relationship then don't join one, that's misleading. My point was only that I have made several platonic friendships through Match, OKCupid, Onion, etc., even though I was not directly looking for friendship. They initally were dates but when romance wasn't going to happen they transitioned to friendships.

Some sites (like OKCupid) do let you join even if you are ONLY looking for friends, but honestly that seems a little weird. I think online dating is generally accepted but online friend-seeking isn't quite there yet.
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