What happens when one wants to move and one doesn't?

[texangelwings]

Originally Posted by CityGirl72

Is it bad that I seriously think of (much later many years from now) if my husband dies - I'm packing up and moving back to where I want to be....and I actually look forward to this? I love him so much - I don't want him to die - but if he did it would make moving so much easier

No, it is not bad to think of the future for yourself. I did not want him to die neither. I always dreamed of living in snow country! And he knew that was my dream, he did not mind.

Some advice to every married couple, get a will! Life becomes very complicated without a will!

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by ness

If you end up retiring what's to stop you from spending part of the year in the south and part of the year in PNW? Is he opposed to that as well?

That's our plan... one of us likes the beach, the other the mountains; one the prairie, the other the rain forest...

so... we plan three places in tax-friendly states, each will be a small farm or acreage that is rented out, with a guest house for us when we are in the area, but we also are comfortable spending some time apart. Honeymoons are nice when we get together, and we enjoy traveling together, but each have plenty to do when hanging around home. We are each flying separate ways this month, and just returned from a trip together.

The future ?grandkids? will throw a curve in the works, but we hope to have places in desirable locations (skiing, lakes...) and close to airports. When / if kids settle on a spot we will get one close, but not too close.

It is really amazing what you learn when you move around, but being a farm kid I thought I would go Bananas when we moved to Singapore, but we all really loved it, and it was a good break from the farm. I even learned to enjoy taxi and bus rides so I could have time to read. (I'm a nut about loving to drive). But... we NEVER got the crops and buildings back to optimal shape, even tho we were only gone for 6 months.

Your spouse may be surprised what they learn to enjoy in a new area. I will have to admit that moving around does cost you plenty of time, it is like yanking 6 mo - 1 yr out of your life. Some of us are a bit old to give up that much time! If you have good friends or a good church, you better think twice about replicating that. It is possible, but after 25 yrs I am still seeking a community in WA that feels like home. I'm sure there are some out there, ... somewhere... I take the stance of BcK... I may yearn for this till death, but will make the best of what I've got today. Tomorrow will bring adequate challenges, it always does.

and yes - a will / trust is very important, as well as a host of handy Advanced Directives...It is very tough (impossible) to make end-of-life / care decisions without them. We even have to have A-D's for multiple states since we might get transported to OR, being border dwellers (yikes!, OR health plan!!). We do agree on this stuff and even our family foundation we set up many years ago. Our poor kids... guess they will have to make it on their own... And no it isn't bad to imagine your life after the death of your spouse, as it is good to have a plan B and C... We talk freely on this, as it is a good way to find out if you are being an obstinate anchor to your spouses desires, and it is helpful to chat about "what-if's", in case you need to dispose of some of the spouse's dear collectibles.