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Old 02-20-2007, 11:40 AM
 
331 posts, read 1,797,014 times
Reputation: 267

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Quote:
Originally Posted by hamerabi View Post
Oh for crying out loud you bunch of whiners !! You find friends in the PNW at fitness centers. Done... Unless it's the middle of summer and you actually can be outside taking your dog for a walk, people are indoors, period.

Join local gym or two, go there 5 times a week, you will have new friends within three months, unless you are not friendly and if that's the case you have your answer.
Wow thanks for setting us all straight.. my life's problems have been solved. And to think it never crossed my mind that a local Gym would be the answer. Oh wait... yeah it did.. However.. I have no interest in going to a gym. Considering I am in pretty good shape to begin with and how I feel one can get enough exercise with out spending money.
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Old 02-20-2007, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Johns Island, SC
797 posts, read 2,608,711 times
Reputation: 1084
Default Making friends is like Gardening

"Friends come by the handful not by the dozen in a life time", this is what my mom would tell me constantly as a lonely army brat, and to this day I still have to remind myself of it. I am a very outgoing and needy person, my love language is quality time and I miss people easily.

I missed going to college and aside from my husband it took nearly 10 years for me to make a friend as an adult in W.WA. Co-workers sustained me during those 10 years but after going to work at home... life got very lonely.

I also suffer from SAD and so from Oct to May my very outgoing personality becomes non-existant keeping me indoors by the fire and in front of the computer and tv. My friends can attest to this problem as they patiently wait for me and the sun to reappear.

How did I get the handful of friends? Same way a little kid makes friends...

Go places you like often and introduce yourself to the people you see. Make small talk to pass the time until you "click", exchange phone numbers and email addresses then set-up future small talk dates to hang out.

Get out of your house and go places, if you like the cloudy weather go out in it and meet the other people that like cloudy weather.

Whatever it is you enjoy, (reading books at Barnes & Noble, drinking coffee at Starbucks, walking your dog, hiking, church stuff, playing with your kids at the park, working out, camping, antique shopping, etc..) go do it and you will find people that enjoy it also.

WA people are not much different from people anywhere in the USA they are busy with family, friends they already have, work, and the stuff that interests them.... just like you are. Your neighbors might share interests with you and they might not, you will have a better chance making friends with people who have the same goals and hobbies than expecting just because they live on your block they enjoy what you enjoy.

I like hosting and party planning so I invite people over for fellowship often, I get outside a lot when the sun is out, I call people back, I reach out!

I have great friends and I miss them a lot. We moved to San Antonio last spring to get more sunshine and curb my SAD. We have had several friends come visit us already and several more scheduled to come. I have a met a few potential friends here and hope to use my own advice to continue to meet more. Making friends is like gardening it takes time and investment, pick your seeds and starting sowing them and see what happens.
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Old 02-21-2007, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Summerville, SC
556 posts, read 1,849,431 times
Reputation: 287
Thank God I found this website. I thought I was nuts. I am going to forward this to my husband, because y'all have explained things I have been feeling for years!! I pray to God this will be the trick to finally convince him to let us move to MY home...the sunny South. I am SO sick of this rain!!!! Yes, I know even the South has its own unique problems, but at least we'll have a crowd of folks coming by our house to help us solve them!! Thank you everyone!

And, by the way, I AM a native Washingtonian--fourth generation--who grew up in the South, and my parents and grown children are still there. I have extended family here--aunts, cousins, etc.--and we are still alone out here most of the time. And, yes, I am a sweet, compassionate person, and my husband is a really neat guy as well (well, he's a tad stubborn, but only about us moving to the South) so that's not the problem.

Please, dear God, deliver me from the misery of living in the Pacific NW!! Yes, the people are lovely, but you just can't get them out of their houses. I have lived here for 13 years, and I can't take it anymore. I want to go home to South Carolina, sit on a porch, and count lightnin' bugs, because I know I'll have my family and friends sitting right next to me doing the same thing!
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Old 02-21-2007, 05:32 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
18,223 posts, read 33,715,483 times
Reputation: 16734
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightcopperkettles View Post
Thank God I found this website. I thought I was nuts. ...
Please, dear God, deliver me from the misery of living in the Pacific NW!! ... I want to go home to South Carolina, sit on a porch, and count lightnin' bugs,
very good !!! you get my vote, and my prayers
I do like count'n them lightnin' bugs, and eat'n 'hot dishes' with my friends

best wishes on a speedy 'exodus' (but... the sunrise was terrific in the gorge this AM, tho clouded in at elevations below 1000' and now here too time to crank up the woodstove for the forecasted next 10 days of rain) I'll have to admit this computer life has improved my PNW outlook, tho not my 'exercise' , I guess I need a 'pedal per minute' ISP
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Old 02-21-2007, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Summerville, SC
556 posts, read 1,849,431 times
Reputation: 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by janb View Post
very good !!! you get my vote, and my prayers
I do like count'n them lightnin' bugs, and eat'n 'hot dishes' with my friends

best wishes on a speedy 'exodus' (but... the sunrise was terrific in the gorge this AM, tho clouded in at elevations below 1000' and now here too time to crank up the woodstove for the forecasted next 10 days of rain) I'll have to admit this computer life has improved my PNW outlook, tho not my 'exercise' , I guess I need a 'pedal per minute' ISP
I know a lot of folks love it up here; my husband is one. The summers (when they get here!) are glorious, but I just cannot tolerate 9 months of rain/overcast skies/gloomy weather. The people, however, are nice once you get to know them. Hard as the dickens to get to know them, though, because nobody ever comes to your house, and you have to call before you go to see them. In the South, it's different; you just go see who you want to see. If they're busy, they'll tell you...charmingly...and you'll tell them, "Well, that's fine, honey! I'll see you another time." And you do.
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Old 02-21-2007, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Durmstrang
28 posts, read 195,358 times
Reputation: 23
Why stop at 9 months? I'd say that it rains 11 months of the year here everyone. So, please take Seattle off of your list of places to move to. It's just terrible. Seriously, though, as president of the Sky Juice Crew, I feel that I must speak for those of us who love PNW weather. If, like me, you grew up in broken record sunny days like those I experienced in Scottsdale, AZ, and longed for a drop of wetness, any drop of wetness, even if, unknown to you, it may have come from the rear end of a passing pigeon, the PNW might be the place for you.

I love our weather - our mist, our rain, our fog, and the most stunning sunny days I've ever seen and that I appreciate ever more as they don't come 300 of 365 days like in AZ. And though the sunsets where I grew up are beautiful, they don't hold a candle to our "Cloudsets" here!

But to the topic at hand, I moved up here for (in addition to the weather) a job from dreary, sun-dried Huntington Beach, CA via scorched Scottsdale, AZ. I made friends from work right away. But my situation called for it. I moved up here a young, single, professional, so when I asked my young, single, professional coworkers to join me for happy hour, they gleefully jumped into my car. Are they close friends? No. But I've only ever really had a couple of people in my life that I'd consider being close friends. And them I met growing up. In fact, all of my best friends I met growing up.

With all of this talk about the dubious Seattle Freeze, I wonder nobody's been made a millionaire creating some local friend- or matchmaking business. Entrepreneurs anyone?
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Old 02-22-2007, 09:54 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,143 times
Reputation: 10
Default Another take on making friends

It may not just be where you are geographically, but where you are in your life. i think it gets harder to make friends as you get older. People are busy, their lives have taken a certain form, they -we- have heavy responsibilities with work and children and/or elders. There isn't a structure for getting close to new people like there is when you're in college or the military or when your kids are in school and little league or whatever. I am in my late 50's and recently relocated from Massachusetts back to Portland OR after 30 years. I don't feel like it's hard to get to know people here - I am limited by my own limits of health and energy. But my goal in moving back here is first to reconnect with family and friends i left behind, so my situation is different.
I love Portland - it is a city of strong neighborhoods, lots of cultural things going on, communal gathering places and activities, a beautiful place with a mild climate. People think it rains all the time but I may move away because the summers are too long and hot now - we went for 5 months without significant rainfall last year - 3 months with no rain at all. Downside is that housing is expensive and commuting can be a nightmare if you have to drive on the freeways - on the other hand, public transit is good for a relatively small city and there are bike lanes almost everywhere if you are so inclined. Utilities are cheap - gas and electricity a fraction of what it was in New England. People here are more environmentally conscious and there is a sense of civic responsibility and participation that is rare. There is lots to do - getting involved in a group with similar interests is probably the best way to connect with people at any time in your life.
If you are a senior Sandy is on the edge of the Portland metropolitan area on the way to Mt Hood, and has great services for Seniors, active senior center with free local transportation connecting to the light rail system - you can go all the way to downtown Portland and beyond easily, cheaply and quickly - you could live without a car in a lower rent district and still have access to the urban amenities, yet be close to Mt Hood and the beautiful Cascades, year-round skiing, the Columbia Gorge, and the rural heart of Oregon.

Last edited by mizmargaret; 02-22-2007 at 10:09 PM..
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Old 02-24-2007, 02:46 AM
 
Location: East TN
1,037 posts, read 3,381,799 times
Reputation: 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightcopperkettles View Post
Thank God I found this website. I thought I was nuts. I am going to forward this to my husband, because y'all have explained things I have been feeling for years!! I pray to God this will be the trick to finally convince him to let us move to MY home...the sunny South. I am SO sick of this rain!!!! Yes, I know even the South has its own unique problems, but at least we'll have a crowd of folks coming by our house to help us solve them!! Thank you everyone!

And, by the way, I AM a native Washingtonian--fourth generation--who grew up in the South, and my parents and grown children are still there. I have extended family here--aunts, cousins, etc.--and we are still alone out here most of the time. And, yes, I am a sweet, compassionate person, and my husband is a really neat guy as well (well, he's a tad stubborn, but only about us moving to the South) so that's not the problem.

Please, dear God, deliver me from the misery of living in the Pacific NW!! Yes, the people are lovely, but you just can't get them out of their houses. I have lived here for 13 years, and I can't take it anymore. I want to go home to South Carolina, sit on a porch, and count lightnin' bugs, because I know I'll have my family and friends sitting right next to me doing the same thing!
I grew up in NC and man I miss catching light-n bugs in the yard as a kid, come June I'm outta here, don't have a job lined up anywhere though...guess I'll be forced to have to pay cash for a house and live an easier lifestyle I guess

Tony
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Old 02-24-2007, 12:51 PM
 
16 posts, read 78,069 times
Reputation: 12
So, somebody mentioned that there is "year round" skiing on Mt. Hood. Have any of you actually tried to ski at Timberline in the middle of summer. It's not skiing and it's freaking ridiculous. Knock that BS off and start telling people what it's really like here. The forecast for the next 10 days is wind, rain, and mid 40's for the highs. Most of the time it is raining at the ski resorts, and at best the conditions are "slushy." Yes, I have had absolutely glorious days on the slopes of Mt. Hood, but they are only about 5% of the time I've been there. Yes, I ski a lot if you are asking. Bottom line is, the weather sucks, and all of the "stuff" that you can do here is mediocre.
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Old 02-24-2007, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Summerville, SC
556 posts, read 1,849,431 times
Reputation: 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony1790 View Post
I grew up in NC and man I miss catching light-n bugs in the yard as a kid, come June I'm outta here, don't have a job lined up anywhere though...guess I'll be forced to have to pay cash for a house and live an easier lifestyle I guess

Tony
God love you! You have a good time, now, hear?
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