Hah, "real gangsters county-wide." Really, Alex? I always forget about the Key Peninsula Crips, the North Tacoma Bloods, the DuPont MS-13. I also can't help but wonder about these street intersection gangs. The 43rd & Warner Family might literally be a family of three at 43rd & Warner. Needless to say, these gangs must be all pretty inactive or lazy. Our murder rate is below national average. Yeah, Tacoma (and the entire metro out through Spanaway) has an issue with crime, especially property crime. However, there are some very nice places that are safe to walk through at all hours. You don't have to worry about gangs, especially "People Nation" gangs, whatever those are.
Anyway: If you want nice, suburban living, though, Alex isn't completely talked out of his butt. University Place and Fircrest are nice. North and Northeast Tacoma are, too, although all of these are out of most families' price ranges. Lakewood is a mixed bag and I'm honestly not a big fan. You can find some nice, family oriented developments on the outskirts of the urban area. For Seattle metro, they're very cheap. But they're definitely sprawlburban. Like many places, you're going to have to pick between affordability and a vibrant neighborhood. However, you will not have to sacrifice nice.
DuPont is actually a decent mix. It's definitely very much an exurb, but it offers affordability and it isn't isolated -- just not much happens. It's a model suburb, and exploded in population because of it. I guess it's a good place to use as a model. Looking at your experience with DuPont, what things did you like, and what things did you dislike? I can probably recommend a neighborhood better with that info.
Here's a list to start you out:
Nice, but pricier
* Fircrest
* North Tacoma
* Northeast Tacoma
* University Place
Nice, but less vibrant
* DuPont (not so much less vibrant, but far out)
* Bonney Lake (like DuPont, but somewhat closer and less developed)
* Small Pierce County towns and their developments -- Orting, suburban Puyallup, etc.
* Developments around Spanaway and the Mountain Highway
There are also some rural areas, such as outside Gig Harbor and around Graham, that are worth looking at. Like most rural areas, the real estate market varies a lot depending on what you're looking for. Objectively, the Tacoma metro is not the greatest place in the world. However, there are some genuinely pleasant, safe, "desirable" areas and comfortable living to be had.
By the way -- I have a friend who lives in the 4600 block of Warner, and I've been there more than a few times. The ne'er-do-wells must have found a new intersection

.