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Old 04-19-2011, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,773 posts, read 56,045,751 times
Reputation: 37792

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You answered your own question...just keep moving on.

It's sad when our family members can't just be happy for us, but when that happens you don't let it stop you from enjoying what you know you want.

At this point, you extend the invitation, tell them you hope they'll come and then let it go.

Focus on your finace' - HE is your family now

Edited to add:

okay, wait, I just read the thread...you are expecting your parents to pay for your wedding, and giving them no say so in the event??

There's your problem.

While it would be nice for your parents to give you the wedding you would prefer, since they are balking at that I say you don't take a penny from them and plan what you and your hunny can afford to pay for on your own. They don't "owe" you this.
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Old 04-19-2011, 03:36 PM
 
2,978 posts, read 2,394,328 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
okay, wait, I just read the thread...are you expecting your parents to pay for your wedding??
Her parents want to pay for the wedding, but only if she does the big blow-out her mother wants.

You'd think they would admire her for preferring to have only her nearest and dearest and wanting to save money.
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Old 04-19-2011, 03:39 PM
 
2,978 posts, read 2,394,328 times
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10 Reasons To Have A Small Wedding

Ten Reasons to Have a Small Wedding | Intimate Weddings - Small Wedding Blog - DIY Wedding Ideas for Small and Intimate Weddings - Real Small Weddings

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Old 04-19-2011, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,773 posts, read 56,045,751 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooting Stars View Post
Her parents want to pay for the wedding, but only if she does the big blow-out her mother wants.

You'd think they would admire her for preferring to have only her nearest and dearest and wanting to save money.

But they really DON'T want to

IF they really did then they would be willing to let her have any kind of wedding SHE wants.

They want to have a wedding to satisfy THEIR own ego's, THEIR own agenda.

And guess what - That's A-OKAY. It's THEIR money.

No parent "owes" their child the wedding of their dreams, whether it costs $10,000 or just $100.

If the OP wants the kind of wedding she wants, that's A-OKAY too - it's her life and her wedding. She just needs to understand that to get that, she'll be paying for it.
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Old 04-19-2011, 03:45 PM
 
3,098 posts, read 2,176,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
But they really DON'T want to

IF they really did then they would be willing to let her have any kind of wedding SHE wants.

They want to have a wedding to satisfy THEIR own ego's, THEIR own agenda.

And guess what - That's A-OKAY. It's THEIR money.

No parent "owes" their child the wedding of their dreams, whether it costs $10,000 or just $100.

If the OP wants the kind of wedding she wants, that's A-OKAY too - it's her life and her wedding. She just needs to understand that to get that, she'll be paying for it.
exactly, its a trade off, if your parents are helping financially, they have some say on how its going to be put on, if you dont like that, then pay for it yourself!
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Old 04-19-2011, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,773 posts, read 56,045,751 times
Reputation: 37792
Quote:
Originally Posted by darrensmooth View Post
exactly, its a trade off, if your parents are helping financially, they have some say on how its going to be put on, if you dont like that, then pay for it yourself!
Yep. This ain't rocket science - it's really very simple
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Old 04-19-2011, 03:52 PM
 
18,075 posts, read 17,307,991 times
Reputation: 17935
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
But they really DON'T want to

IF they really did then they would be willing to let her have any kind of wedding SHE wants.

They want to have a wedding to satisfy THEIR own ego's, THEIR own agenda.

And guess what - That's A-OKAY. It's THEIR money.

No parent "owes" their child the wedding of their dreams, whether it costs $10,000 or just $100.

If the OP wants the kind of wedding she wants, that's A-OKAY too - it's her life and her wedding. She just needs to understand that to get that, she'll be paying for it.
Yeah I agree with this. If she insists on a specific type of wedding that her parents refuse to pay for, then she needs to pay for it herself. I don't see anything worth getting all worked up about.
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Old 04-19-2011, 04:31 PM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 3,031,407 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooting Stars View Post
Her parents want to pay for the wedding, but only if she does the big blow-out her mother wants.

You'd think they would admire her for preferring to have only her nearest and dearest and wanting to save money.
Sometimes Debbie Reynolds is the mom, though.

"I need that wedding. I need some beauty and some music and some placecards before I die. It's like heroin."
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Old 04-19-2011, 04:49 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
8,087 posts, read 14,059,114 times
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A friend of mine gave in and had her mom's dream wedding. Years later, she still resents it. That said, is there a possibility for compromise? Something that would be OK for both of you.

Could you have a small, wedding only, at home, invite everyone, do it cheap and then get remarried at your resort and have the honeymoon there? Go for the best of both worlds? Personally, I love the idea of a destination wedding but I wonder if part of mom's misgivings go back to money. Can the people you want to attend afford the money and time? This is asking a lot from your guests.

Anyway, I would expend some time and effort looking for a compromise that would work. If I couldn't come to an agreement with mom, I would do what I wanted to do and pay for it myself. I know all about the fairy-tale and dream wedding thing. But reality is, this is just one day out of your life. ONE DAY! Is it really worth sacrificing your relationship with your family over this?

Think really hard about this. I know, it's supposed to be your day....blah, blah, blah. But there's going to be a big price to pay.
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Old 04-19-2011, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
14,182 posts, read 9,292,605 times
Reputation: 11377
Some people don't want to travel that far to go to a wedding. Maybe your fiancé's folks are excited because they're not paying?

Pay for your own wedding. Problem solved.

Let your mom throw you a big reception if it will keep the peace.
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