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Old 04-29-2011, 08:42 AM
 
3,219 posts, read 5,349,549 times
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watered down.

Someone has succeeded in having the marriage vow to "love, honour and obey" altered.

I re-heard the "vows" and it's not quite there.
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Old 04-29-2011, 12:17 PM
 
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Diana's vows omitted 'obey' too.
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Old 04-29-2011, 12:19 PM
 
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Why so self-righteous?

I think you'll find that very few brides promise to "obey" these days, and that this has been the case for years. It seems to me that this actually strengthens their vows rather than "waters them down", as such vows are far more likely to be followed than perhaps well-intentioned but highly unlikely promises to obey one's spouse - with "at all times and in all situations" being unsaid but assumed.

What intelligent, self-aware, ethical woman would ever want to make a vow of that kind, one likely to be observed in the breach rather than by the letter?

And what intelligent, strong, honorable man would want a wife willing to be so subservient and so unwilling to trust her own best judgement, should it differ from his?

Last edited by CraigCreek; 04-29-2011 at 12:34 PM..
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Old 04-29-2011, 02:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
Why so self-righteous?

I think you'll find that very few brides promise to "obey" these days, and that this has been the case for years. It seems to me that this actually strengthens their vows rather than "waters them down", as such vows are far more likely to be followed than perhaps well-intentioned but highly unlikely promises to obey one's spouse - with "at all times and in all situations" being unsaid but assumed.

What intelligent, self-aware, ethical woman would ever want to make a vow of that kind, one likely to be observed in the breach rather than by the letter?

And what intelligent, strong, honorable man would want a wife willing to be so subservient and so unwilling to trust her own best judgement, should it differ from his?
Then why not be just roommates instead?

Makes it much easier when the first argument (do us part) comes along.
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Old 04-29-2011, 03:07 PM
 
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"Why not be just roommates instead?", asks njguy.

Love. Commitment. Devotion. Respect. Fidelity. Putting your partner and his or her well-being above yourself. Mutual cherishing. Hopes and dreams and plans for a long future together, perhaps with children and eventually, grandchildren.

njguy, it appears you have much to learn about love. That's not meant entirely critically, as the state of having much ahead of you yet to learn can also be a very promising future, if you take pains to apply yourself to this sort of education!
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Old 04-29-2011, 03:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
"Why not be just roommates instead?", asks njguy.

Love. Commitment. Devotion. Respect. Fidelity. Putting your partner and his or her well-being above yourself. Mutual cherishing. Hopes and dreams and plans for a long future together, perhaps with children and eventually, grandchildren.

njguy, it appears you have much to learn about love. That's not meant entirely critically, as the state of having much ahead of you yet to learn can also be a very promising future, if you take pains to apply yourself to this sort of education!
Hmmmmmmm.................no.

Why is "OBEY" important? Well I'll let you figure that one out all by yourself.

Anyone can do what you say about any human or animal even from afar.

Oh yes, tell that "love" and all the rest words I bolded in your post to "a partner" who cheated and sleeping around or is looking for a new live-in in divorce court whom is trying to rape the other.
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Old 04-29-2011, 03:38 PM
 
Location: New York
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Quote:
Originally Posted by njguy View Post
Hmmmmmmm.................no.

Why is "OBEY" important? Well I'll let you figure that one out all by yourself.

Anyone can do what you say about any human or animal even from afar.

Oh yes, tell that "love" and all the rest words I bolded in your post to "a partner" who cheated and sleeping around or is looking for a new live-in in divorce court whom is trying to rape the other.
??
I am not sure why anyone would want to even speak to someone 'who cheated and sleeping around or is looking for a new live-in'... nor am I sure what this badly constructed 'sentence' ( and I use that word loosely) has to do with removing the word 'obey' from wedding vows...

What has all this to do with animals in the distance ??
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Old 04-29-2011, 03:39 PM
 
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Well, sir, in a situation such as you describe, it's clear that all of the other vows have been broken long ago and repeatedly, invalidating the marriage and that vowing "obedience" would be highly unlikely to change such a sad state. Your scenario has little to do with love, devotion, commitment, respect or any of the other virtues I listed previously.

And a term I previously omitted may be one of the most important virtues: trust. Without mutual trust, no true marriage can exist.
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Old 04-29-2011, 03:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by swisswife View Post
??
I am not sure why anyone would want to even speak to someone 'who cheated and sleeping around or is looking for a new live-in'... nor am I sure what this badly constructed 'sentence' ( and I use that word loosely) has to do with removing the word 'obey' from wedding vows...

What has all this to do with animals in the distance ??
Just like I said - One can love an animal or human the same these days no matter how near or far without the vows because the vows (what's left of them) don't seem to mean anything to the vast amount of "couples". Look at the divorce and staying single rates.

I wrote that (badly constructed) masterpiece sentence in a hurry - sorry about that.
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Old 04-29-2011, 03:59 PM
 
3,219 posts, read 5,349,549 times
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Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
Well, sir, in a situation such as you describe, it's clear that all of the other vows have been broken long ago and repeatedly, invalidating the marriage and that vowing "obedience" would be highly unlikely to change such a sad state. Your scenario has little to do with love, devotion, commitment, respect or any of the other virtues I listed previously.

And a term I previously omitted may be one of the most important virtues: trust. Without mutual trust, no true marriage can exist.
Hard to tell many times how broken it is or was with one before going into the marriage if that makes sense.
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