Honoring relatives that have passed away at a wedding. (wear, vows, appropriate) - - City-Data Forum

germaine2626 · 06-23-2012, 12:03 PM

My son was married last Saturday and I thought that how they included their love for relatives that had died was very appropriate and touching. First of all, the bride sewed her late grandfather's prayer shawl (I believe that is the correct term) on the underside of the chuppah (wedding canopy). They stood directly under it while they took their vows. It was almost as if her grandfather was watching over them from above (heaven).

During the Unity candle section the groom's sister lit both of the tall taper candles while the officiant said that the candles represented both the family members who were present as well as the family members who the bride and groom wished could be present. The officiant then named the late grandparents as well as the bride's late brother. When the bride & groom lit the large Unity candle they left all three candles burning.

The last thing isn't specifically about relatives that have passed away but did include them. At the reception was a table that included wedding pictutes of the parents & grandparents of the bride and groom as well as a few family photographs with parents/grandparents. There were different sizes and types of frames but they all were silver or grey so they worked well together. The newlyweds are going to put these photographs on display at their house. Many people said that they enjoyed seeing the photographs.

I haven't attended a lot of weddings recently so I don't know if these things are common or unusual but I thought that I would let others know. Perhaps they would work well at your upcoming wedding.

Pitt Chick · 06-23-2012, 03:16 PM

Sorry... but I chuckled at the title!
I have not had any relative die at a wedding.

germaine2626 · 06-23-2012, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pitt Chick

Sorry... but I chuckled at the title!
I have not had any relative die at a wedding.

Oh My Gosh! Bad wording.

Liberty2011 · 06-24-2012, 04:56 AM

LOL @ the title, but I absolutely love the idea of wedding photos of parents/grandparents. What a wonderful way to incorporate loved ones who are watching down on us.

germaine2626 · 06-24-2012, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liberty2011

LOL @ the title, but I absolutely love the idea of wedding photos of parents/grandparents. What a wonderful way to incorporate loved ones who are watching down on us.

The title was originally going to be "Honoring deceased family members at a wedding" but for some reason I ended up writing the current title.

It just reminds everyone of the importance of proofreading what you write on C-D and everyplace else.

We did something similar at our Silver Wedding Anniversary. We had a photo gallery of our parents and grandparents wedding photographs and also included the family group wedding photographs taken at our and our siblings weddings. A lot of people said that they enjoyed seeing all of the photographs, esp. being able to see how people changed over the years.

Pitt Chick · 06-24-2012, 09:48 AM

Most weddings I have been to/been in had mention of deceased relatives in the wedding program.
A few had photos at a special table at the reception.

gentlearts · 06-24-2012, 09:50 AM

I have seen this at a protestant and a catholic wedding. They made mention of the parents and grandparents who had passed away. There weren't photographs at the reception, though.

I always make sure to wear a piece of jewelry from my mother and grandmother to the weddings of those they were close to. It makes me feel as though they are a part of it, or are somehow able to be there.

aragx6 · 06-25-2012, 01:32 PM

I'll have a small locket with a picture of my dad and me attached to my bouquet.

Wmsn4Life · 06-25-2012, 01:44 PM

I like the photos, and the prayer shawl idea is a nice one. I'm sure it was very meaningful to the couple.

I also believe that remembering loved ones by name in the printed program is good. However, too many deceased mentioned in the ceremony could turn it from a wedding to a wake.

germaine2626 · 06-25-2012, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

I like the photos, and the prayer shawl idea is a nice one. I'm sure it was very meaningful to the couple.

I also believe that remembering loved ones by name in the printed program is good. However, too many deceased mentioned in the ceremony could turn it from a wedding to a wake.

I agree. They just verbally listed their grandparents and the late brother of the bride (they didn't have a program) during the Unity Candle part of the ceremony.

My son was extremely close to both sets of his grandparents and he really regrets that they didn't live long enough to see him receive his PhD and to get married. The bride said that she was also very close to her grandparents.