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If the OP's friend thinks that showers are sexist, I hope she's being consistent with all the wedding planning. So her parents aren't paying for the wedding, there'll be no white dress, no veil, no bridesmaids, no walking down the aisle, etc.
You are a traditionalist imo. To me it says...The woman is being honored...everyone knows that men cook too. But, as in life to each his own. Maybe tell them you'd like a couples shower, lots of people do that, including baby showers...It doesn't have to be a draw your line in the sand moment. There will be plenty of those as you grow older..
Lighten up people. Try not to insult folks you are just getting to know be being resentful of every kindness. You gonna refuse to let people put money in envelopes, or not have a wedding cake too. If you are buying into the traditional wedding...than you don't get to stamp your foot and be indignant at what should be considered a nice gesture. OP...Just communicate....Don't pout and bare resentment...it makes lines on your face...And, just out of curiosity...Who is paying for this wedding...If it is you and your fiance...Than you two figure out these issues together...If it is his family, or yours...than suck it up Nancy.
I predict anyone who starts a relationship off w/ this much harbored resentment is setting themselves up for some real rough transitions. Compromise is the key in ANY relationship...but you have to communicate your wants/needs in order to compromise.
She did and they got nasty saying "men don't like showers". Of course they don't but neither do most women (at least women I know). Her and her fiance are paying for the wedding.
I hate showers. Doesn't matter what kind. Bridal/baby/whatever. It's a fine waste of an afternoon. I send my regrets with my gift. So, I would just advise your friend to tell the host she will not show up to an event that she does not wish to be the guest of honor, but they're welcome to do it anyway in her absence.
As for me, if I ever get married, I've already told friends/family, no shower. The most I will do is a lunch at a restaurant complete with cocktails. No gifts, no games. And if they think it'll be funny to do foist it on me anyway thinking I won't have the nerve to leave, they've got another thing coming.
If the marrying couple are just happy with people attending their wedding, JUST GIVE IT TO THEM!!!! JEEZ!!!!!
My family knows that not only do I dislike showers I never attend them. I know if I get married they would know for me I would walk out so I doubt they would try. I send gifts though.
I agree with most everyone else...good grief, it's a freakin' bridal shower, they aren't asking your friend to give up her job and home and move with them to Guam and have triplets by September. There's nothing controlling or demeaning about it...it's just a shower.
Good grief. I mean, really...yes, she's the bride, but where did all the "my absolute way or the highway" mentality come from? I predict a long road ahead for her (and her spouse and all family relationships) if this is what she's choosing to take a stand on.
I think it must be more that she is uncomfortable being the center of attention - either that, or she doesn't want to write thank you notes. Either way, she is snubbing a generous gesture in favor of women's rights or rejecting time-honored traditions because of her apparent distaste for an apron or something equally silly. No one is looking at it like that - and frankly, this couples shower thing says to me "we must be together all the time and share every damn thing and I'm totally dependent on him to function" more than a women-only shower says "kitchen". There are going to be plenty of times in the future when she is going to need and want the advice or friendship of the very women she is wanting to snub in the name of civil rights. Lord. Bless her heart - she needs to learn the art of compromise.
But she told them no shower and they disregarded her opinion for her wedding. I can't blame her, because spending a day with women is not my idea of fun either and I really don't like most women.
If the OP's friend thinks that showers are sexist, I hope she's being consistent with all the wedding planning. So her parents aren't paying for the wedding, there'll be no white dress, no veil, no bridesmaids, no walking down the aisle, etc.
What does that have to do with this? the shower is women only, whereas a wedding is coed. No her parents aren't paying.
What is so terrible about a women-only shower/lunch? Is she planning on having a coed bachelorette party, too?
Because she doesn't want one. She is planning a woman only bachelorette party but that is different because the groom is doing one and that is her friends. A shower is reinforcing traditional views of women as homemakers.
I shudder to think what else they will do to her (or try)if they are being this controlling already.
Its just a wedding shower to give her presents. You're really shuddering when thinking of what might happen next? As if showers lead to water-boarding and ripping out her fingernails...
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Its just a wedding shower to give her presents. You're really shuddering when thinking of what might happen next? As if showers lead to water-boarding and ripping out her fingernails...
