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This year, a friend of mine invited us to her wedding, but it was in key west. Sounded like fun, but after the cost of airfair, hotel, gift...we just couldn't do it again. I respectfully declined.
This ^ is the way to handle an invitation to a long-distance wedding. Do what fits your budget. The bride and groom should be understanding if you feel attending their wedding would leave you strapped for cash. If you can't justify traveling to attend a wedding, don't go, and simply send a nice gift which fits your budget.
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I took my family to my cousin's daughter's wedding. We drove through 5 states, had to dish out for lodging, plus gas for the vehicle, plus food, and, of course, the gift.
Two years later, my cousin, who has a very successful business and travels all over, takes his married children (and grandchildren) on vacations all the time, owns two homes, etc., etc., declined to come to our son's wedding because "it's too expensive." I guess when we went, he thought it was free for us.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,683 posts, read 41,553,646 times
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I personally dont do weddings and no way I would attend one that required travel expenses, my budget right now dont allow that. If my mother got married and had her wedding in Kentucky where she lives I could not even afford even that.
I would go if I'm in the wedding party...maybe....but these long distance ones are a little bit over the top for us.
When we get invited to far away places.....we just send a gift.
I have 4 sisters and have been to 4 weddings for them......I sure hope none of 'em are peeved 'cuz I didn't go to their next weddings after their divorces. (happened twice)
Another one is re-marrying...this time in Costa Rica.
I'm sure a great time will be had by all.
But I can think of a few more things to buy with $4000.
I personally dont do weddings and no way I would attend one that required travel expenses, my budget right now dont allow that. If my mother got married and had her wedding in Kentucky where she lives I could not even afford even that.
If I found out that you were complaining because I invited you to my "stupid wedding", I would regret having included you. Why don't you just make up some "stupid" excuses and stay home? No need to feel like a D-bag at all.
I think you are totally off the mark on this one, not everyone can afford to attend so many weddings in one year. They have real lives, real responsibilities and real debts that are not related to the happy couple.
Honestly, those who are invited should not have to go into debt or put any cost on a credit card to attend a wedding. I see no reason why a gift (depending on the relationship of the guest and those getting married) or just a simple elegant card would not be sufficient.
We went to a wedding in June of last year several states away however, the bride is my husband niece and we had been putting away the cost of the trip since we found out they were getting married. On the other hand we did not attend the wedding of one of my Mother's friends daughter, whom I have also known for many years, simply because we have not been that close for 20+ years and it was short notice and we did not have the extra funds to attend 3 states away.
I never spent that much on attending a wedding. I traveled to go to some family members' weddings but unless they were very close family, I didn't travel far.
A family member had a wedding last year...3 states away...and it was her second wedding. I politely declined the invitation and sent a card but no gift. She already got a gift when she got married the first time...less than two years prior to her second wedding. I can't believe she even had the chutzpah to register (again).
539? That's funny. Received an invitation to one of these "destination" weddings recently, declined. Got another upcoming wedding but it's fairly local, I estimate my total cost at around $0.
I think you are totally off the mark on this one, not everyone can afford to attend so many weddings in one year. They have real lives, real responsibilities and real debts that are not related to the happy couple.
Honestly, those who are invited should not have to go into debt or put any cost on a credit card to attend a wedding. I see no reason why a gift (depending on the relationship of the guest and those getting married) or just a simple elegant card would not be sufficient.
I'm sorry...I think you may have misunderstood my post. I don't think people should put themselves into debt to go to weddings they cannot afford to attend. My annoyance was with the OP's attitude about people's "stupid" (his word) weddings. I totally agree with you that if it's not in the budget to attend, the gracious thing to do is to send a card and/or gift.
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