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$100 travel (gas, tolls, etc. and we'll completely ignore if you have to fly)
$200 hotel (2 nights if you have to travel out of town)
$100 gift ($200 if you bring someone else)
$100 miscellaneous (suit cleaning, spend on lunch outside that won't be covered in wedding plans, child care/pet care)
I really regret being invited to 5 weddings this year, but will end up feeling like a total d**che if I don't attend. Can't believe I'm going to blow over $1500 on stupid weddings this year.
Oh yeah, $500 for a wedding also assumes you're not even in the wedding party, to which you can add the expense of tux, bachelor party, etc.
$100 travel .... Are all the upcoming weddings that far away? Do you really have to attend them all???
$200 hotel .... Not much you can do about this one.
$100 gift .... Why so much??? $50 in an envelope should be plenty.
$100 miscellaneous .... I see no reason to clean your suits after each wedding. In fact, unless you are part of the wedding - and it doesn't sound like you are - don't take a suit at all.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Seems low to me, probably about right for a local wedding, but much of our family weddings have been (and will be) a $400 round trip airfare, x2, in addition to the other costs. Of course, everyone has the choice of whether to go or not, and just send a card and maybe gift card if you can't afford the trip.
I just returned from a wedding 2 weeks ago; I just attended as there was no bridal party or bachelorette party, etc.
However, I'm pretty close to the bride.
Flew from Chicago to Atlanta:
$120: Flight
$110: Car rental/gas
$100: Bridal shower the day before the wedding (I put in this amount towards the cost of the food; 37 people had RSVP'ed)
$60: Dress worn to the wedding (yeah, I know, kinda frivolous but I didn't really have anything to wear and the dress was marked down from $300 sooooo.....)
$20: Bride requested I bake/bring a big batch of brownies I'm known for making that a lot of people like so I bought the ingredients for that and made them/brought them with me to Atl from Chicago
$50: Manicure/pedicure-I honestly don't usually get this done outside of when I have an event actually so I only got this done since I was going to the wedding
$75: Bridal shower card, bridal shower gift for the bride, wedding card
$75: Bridal shower items: a small speaker (we needed one to play music for one of the games of "pass the bouquet", but I will continue to use the speaker for myself although I wouldn't have bought it otherwise). I also had to purchase things like a small gift for the winner of the game and the actual faux "bouquet" for the game.
$20: Uber ride from my house to the airport in Chicago (I don't own a car).
Let's see...that's $630 if I added up everything correct and:
1. I haven't even sent the couple the $100 cash wedding gift I planned on sending yet, and,
2. My friend is turning 40 in two weeks and told me a few days ago she is planning a big bash in Atl and sending out the invites any day now....
I actually decided in part not to travel this Labor Day weekend (I love to travel) based on how much I've spent RE: the above.
Definitely attend the wedding if you are invited and it will mean something to the couple for you to be there. Cut out the extras- mani/pedis, $200 hotels, etc.
In the future I will avoid all NYC weddings unless its off peak and during a weekday, as NYC hotel prices alone are insane and just a 2 night stay can cost $300-600 and then you add on the flight, food and transport, gift and its easily $500-700.
I'm surprised that poster got so much flack for thinking you had to gift something to "cover" your plate. I've definitely heard this as well. I don't know much about weddings or wedding culture, but having heard this a few times here or there, thought it was the norm. Interesting to know it may not be a requirement. (Though I do know that it is a pretty strong expectation in some asian cultures, where it's more normal to give cash rather than registry gifts anyway.)
Sigh weddings are just so expensive these days. My friends are all scattered across the country, and in expensive parts of the country, so with airfare and accommodations they have normally run me about $800ish each to attend.
I'm surprised that poster got so much flack for thinking you had to gift something to "cover" your plate. I've definitely heard this as well. I don't know much about weddings or wedding culture, but having heard this a few times here or there, thought it was the norm. Interesting to know it may not be a requirement. (Though I do know that it is a pretty strong expectation in some asian cultures, where it's more normal to give cash rather than registry gifts anyway.)
Sigh weddings are just so expensive these days. My friends are all scattered across the country, and in expensive parts of the country, so with airfare and accommodations they have normally run me about $800ish each to attend.
That was me lol, i hear it all the time about covering your plate. I assume its because of being in different parts of the country. Im on long island, ny. So if i only gave 50$ as a gift that would be insulting unless that was all i could afford. But weddings here are at least 100$-150$ per plate. Im assuming other parts of the country are much cheaper.
And yes, if u bring a guest you give more because its an extra person. They could have invited someone unless instead of your guest. People here say no but i have to respectfuy disagree.
That was me lol, i hear it all the time about covering your plate. I assume its because of being in different parts of the country. Im on long island, ny. So if i only gave 50$ as a gift that would be insulting unless that was all i could afford. But weddings here are at least 100$-150$ per plate. Im assuming other parts of the country are much cheaper.
And yes, if u bring a guest you give more because its an extra person. They could have invited someone unless instead of your guest. People here say no but i have to respectfuy disagree.
Please explain how it is the obligation if a guest to cover the cost of a wedding dinner? And why would bringing a guest (presumably also an invited guest via a "plus one" on the invitation) make any difference as to the cost of the gift?
Please explain how it is the obligation if a guest to cover the cost of a wedding dinner?
Its just what i have heard hundreds of times. It wasnt my idea its what i have heard, its what people have told me . Im repeating what ive been told. Do i agree with it ? Absolutely not. Do i think its absurd ? Yes. Lol i dont know what you want me to say. I dont care what other people do. Give $10 as a gift if you want idgaf. Im simply saying what i have heard is to cover your plate. I hate weddings, i think they are dumb and if youve been to one youve been to them all. Im saying what i believe "society" thinks people should do is cover their plate.
Please explain how it is the obligation if a guest to cover the cost of a wedding dinner? And why would bringing a guest (presumably also an invited guest via a "plus one" on the invitation) make any difference as to the cost of the gift?
As for the guest - lets say you would give 100$ by yourself, or you bring a plus one and still give 100$. The couple could have said no to your plus one and invited someone else who would have given a gift, lets say 100$. Therefore theyd have 200$ instead of 100$
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