Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
tell the groom to tell his parents the wedding is for his bride not them! if the parents really do love their new DIL they should want to make her comfortable. putting pressure on her to do something that makes her uncomfortable just so they can have a wedding they want is completely selfish. the bride will remember this day all her life, you do not want her remembering nothing but stress and giving in on her day so her social in-laws could have a party. future hubby needs tell parents to back off. besides half the folks his parents want to invite really don't want to come anyway or feel obligated to get gifts.
Indeed that is what exactly what is happening.
While previewing several in-law-suggested venues, the groom noticed that his bride was becoming increasingly uncertain about the idea of getting married in the near future. Apparently, he has explained to his folks that they need to back off and get real.
The groom is a great guy. Good son. Has all the signs of being a wonderful husband and life partner. I think he and his folks just all got caught up in thinking that a fairy-tale princess bride wedding was every girl's dream.
The current plan being discussed is a small wedding and perhaps a couple of smaller parties to celebrate the nuptials.
The idea of small wedding, honeymoon and party when they return still has a certain appeal as well.
The groom wants the bride to marry him. Wants to make her happy. Wants to make his parents happy.
What the groom needs to understand is that it is no longer going to be about making his parents happy. His wife is going to come first and foremost and it is she that he should want to worry about.
They should do what they want as a couple. This is their day (bride and groom) not everyone elses day.
The poor guy recently mentioned a barn type, rustic wedding. Something more informal that his bride might be more comfortable with, yet still accommodate all the guests his folks want to invite.
His parents were appalled at the thought of their guests drinking out of canning jars and sitting on bales of straw.
The bride is pleading with him to elope.
He's wondering how things got so out of hand.
Actually, no, she is doomed.
I have seen those type of weddings and they are actually beautiful. Its not like they are also housing cattle in there!!!
If I were the bride I would want to elope too! Having been married before I can also say now that the bride needs to take a second look at the grooms family and decide if that is what she wants to deal with for the rest of her life.
I never thought to even think of such a thing but I know better now! My ex husband became the same type of spouse and parent that his wretched mother is.
The parents' preferences shouldn't come into play, especially if those preferences are things that the bride isn't comfortable with. If she doesn't want a party, it doesn't matter if the parents-in-law have the means to provide one and are happy to, the fact is, she doesn't want a party. The princess wedding and the fluffy dress ISN'T "every girl's dream."
If I were the bride I would want to elope too! Having been married before I can also say now that the bride needs to take a second look at the grooms family and decide if that is what she wants to deal with for the rest of her life.
I never thought to even think of such a thing but I know better now! My ex husband became the same type of spouse and parent that his wretched mother is.
Bride hasn't said as much, but the initial excitement over their engagement has waned somewhat. Instead of a spring wedding, she's talking 2015.
Groom's starting to worry there may never be nuptials.
She's starting to wonder whether she wants to deal with his parents. He's a sweetheart, but there are decades of holidays and other family gatherings ahead.
I imagine even Kate Middleton gave some serious thought to whether being married to her prince was worth taking on that bunch of sourpuss in-laws.
I disagree. It look like the groom's parents want a normal wedding. It looks like the bride is defending her parents not wanting to spend more than $5000. Everyone is complaining about the groom listening to his parents but it looks like the bride is doing the same.
Having a wedding in a barn, or a barbeque with a keg is not my idea of a wedding. These 2 have completely different upbringings. I know people that got married from different backgrounds and it never worked.
Why won't they spend more than $5000? What do her parents say about not wanting to spend the money?
I disagree. It look like the groom's parents want a normal wedding. It looks like the bride is defending her parents not wanting to spend more than $5000. Everyone is complaining about the groom listening to his parents but it looks like the bride is doing the same.
Having a wedding in a barn, or a barbeque with a keg is not my idea of a wedding. These 2 have completely different upbringings. I know people that got married from different backgrounds and it never worked.
Why won't they spend more than $5000? What do her parents say about not wanting to spend the money?
I can agree that the groom's family may want something nicer for their son's wedding, but if the bride and groom don't want that, they need to respect their wishes.
As for the bride's parents, why on earth do they need to say anything about not wanting to spend the money? If someone is giving you $5000 for a celebration, you don't ask why they're not giving more. You say thank you, and if you want a more expensive wedding for yourself, you get out your own wallet and pony up.
I disagree. It look like the groom's parents want a normal wedding. It looks like the bride is defending her parents not wanting to spend more than $5000. Everyone is complaining about the groom listening to his parents but it looks like the bride is doing the same.
Having a wedding in a barn, or a barbeque with a keg is not my idea of a wedding. These 2 have completely different upbringings. I know people that got married from different backgrounds and it never worked.
Why won't they spend more than $5000? What do her parents say about not wanting to spend the money?
The bride has three siblings, two in graduate school at the moment. My guess is that between helping four kids with college expenses and looking at four weddings within the next few years, they decided that $5,000 per kid was what they could afford per wedding.
My understanding is that a "normal wedding" costs in the neighborhood of $25k. Not sure what crowd you run with, but none of my friends have a $100K sitting around to be spent on parties.
I've been to barbecue buffet and beer weddings and plated inner and champagne cocktail weddings and everything in between. The point of the wedding is to bring the families together to support the couple in creating their own family.
It may well be that their backgrounds are so different that it would be better to call the whole thing off.
Not sure about the bride, but the groom is definitely not on board with that. He thinks he's won the lottery.
The bride has three siblings, two in graduate school at the moment. My guess is that between helping four kids with college expenses and looking at four weddings within the next few years, they decided that $5,000 per kid was what they could afford per wedding.
My understanding is that a "normal wedding" costs in the neighborhood of $25k. Not sure what crowd you run with, but none of my friends have a $100K sitting around to be spent on parties.
I've been to barbecue buffet and beer weddings and plated inner and champagne cocktail weddings and everything in between. The point of the wedding is to bring the families together to support the couple in creating their own family.
It may well be that their backgrounds are so different that it would be better to call the whole thing off.
Not sure about the bride, but the groom is definitely not on board with that. He thinks he's won the lottery.
A "normal" wedding is however much you want to spend. I did a destination wedding with 12 people, and wedding, dinner, show, hair, flowers, dress, tux rental, cake PLUS honeymoon was $7000.
The part that so many miss out on is that you're no more or less married based on the pricetag of the wedding day.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
