Do I buy a wedding gift for a wedding I didn't know about?
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If you're compelled to get them a wedding gift, maybe they have a wedding registry at a favorite store. i.e. Bed bath and Beyond, Bloomingdale's, Saks Fifth Ave, Walmart, etc.
When I got married, we had a small ceremony and didn't tell many people, but sent announcements after the fact, just to let people know. We got gifts from all but 2 people, and weren't expecting a thing.
I'd give a gift to a good friend regardless of circumstance.
To me it would depend. A friend got married out of state and only her mom was at the ceremony, which was in the middle of a show at the circus since her husband worked for Ringling. She later had a party for her friends and relatives but if she hadn't I would have sent her a gift. I've also sent gifts to relatives who got married at city hall and didn't have parties. However, my parents weren't invited to the wedding of a son of a former friend so they didn't send a gift (though others thought they should).
In this case if they have a party in the summer I would wait for that and give them a gift then. That way if you aren't invited you don't send a gift and if you are invited then you don't give them two gifts.
I don't want to sound like an ass but I don't really think I should give him a gift unless I'm "supposed to". He's not my best friend or in my close circle of really great friends, he's just a good friend and was a roommate at one time. I mean this is the sort of situation where if I was invited to a "real" ceremony I'd be giving them a $50 gift card to sears with some cupcakes and a nice card.
I might still do that if its appropriate.
^^^This post answers your own question. I don't believe in what one is "supposed to" do. In your OP you said he's a good friend but in your comment above he doesn't sound like a good or even close friend. A good friend would have at least contacted you and said, "hey, change of plans, we're getting married this weekend." Like IDDY said--wait and see if there's going to be a party that way you don't give 2 gifts. Personally, I wouldn't base whether or not I'm giving a gift on if there's a party or not. If I know they're having a party then I would wait until then. If they confirm that they are NOT having a party then I would send them a gift. You should do what you feel is appropriate for the type of friendship you have and give what you can afford.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skinnyfat
One of my good friends got married about a week ago. Everyone knew he was engaged and the original plan was to have the wedding in the summer when everyone could attend. I was informally invited to that.
I find out over facebook that he got married and has left for his honeymoon. I find it odd that there was no ceremony and no one I know was invited. My guess is his fiance got pregnant so they moved the wedding up.
Should I still get them something? I feel as a general rule if I'm not invited I'm not giving a gift and I apply that to most things. At the same time the wedding was moved up and I don't think anyone outside of the families were invited.
We are also in college and his hometown is on the other side of the country. They got married there so its unlikely anyone from school would be able to attend during the holidays on short notice anyway.
Well, if you're broke....then you're in no condition to give money away.
Because you can't.
You don't have any.
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