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but nothing!
Gifts are freely given, with no expectation of dollar amount. There is no 'should be generous' about it!
Although I think that the gifts examples given by the OP are tactless (btw, who exactly received these gifts? was it you? friends of yours?), I do agree with Pitt Chick.
A wedding is a celebration of the union of a man and woman in holy matrimony, not a celebration of what expensive gifts they have received. It's inappropriate to demand or expect any (expensive) gift to be given. There is no quid pro quo (eg. I invite you to my wedding, and in exchange, you give me an expensive gift).
I was once invited to a shower for the bride and bought one of her selected gifts which was an electric cooking tool. It snowed and the shower was cancelled without even letting me know. Then for the wedding I bought a more expensive gift. Something in the thank you note made me realize they had thought we only gave the electric appliance and had not thought it to be enough. I still don't have the highest regard for this gold-digging couple.
And while we are on this subject, how about those people that always give a shower for themselves but never give to others because they live too far away. I have been telling my relatives for years that the road goes both ways or we would not be able to get back home when we go to their area.
The gift represent the support for the event.
Froydian slip .
The wedding may have been really cheap, not that much invested , either because of economic constraints or priorities, what ever.
People invited are jerks ,acquaintances ,strangers , any thing to fill the hall, moochers, drunks.
If your not real selective about your friends ,you can't expect much .
I have been invited to weddings knowing I could not attend , nor having a real relationship with the party.
I'm not obligated to send any thing but a card,may be .
If your only remembered in the event, you are being obligated to bring a present, that's not family .
That's being used.
On the other hand .
Some one I do interact with regularly, invites me to an event , that's a whole different issue .
Then I am researching the most appropriate gift I can come up with, and can afford that is meaningful.
I think I understand the OP. A friend of mine got married and was shocked at getting small items like a broom, or a very small appliance from relatives that were known to give place settings of expensive china to other couples. She was hurt -- very hurt.
And while she knew her father couldn't stand the man she married, she was really hurt again when she found out he went and told everyone in the family out of her earshot that this marriage didn't stand a chance to last a year. Who wants to spend a nice chunk of change on that?
Bad part? Her father was right.
The next time he was quite happy with her choice and the gifts were in line.
My FIL's girlfriend gave us an ugly plastic wine glass & beer mug. She had her friend paint our names on it with a bunch of squiggly lines. It looked like something I might have done in 5th grade. She made us open it at our table at the reception, and kept saying 'isn't it wonderful' like it was some kind of piece of art. My mother thinks she wanted us to drink out of them during the reception, but I just put them right back in the bag & haven't taken them out since. Yet she walks around with $250 bags.
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