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I never really thought much about this until I got one a couple of months ago as a complete surprise. We had been together for three and a half years when it happened.
Here's my thing: I drive a 1993 Volvo station wagon, I bought most of my clothes at thrift shops before that song made it cool, and am generally very savvy with my money so I can put it in my retirement accounts.
I would absolutely never demand a guy spend X amount of money on a ring and then tell him I will get it appraised so there's no funny business. If she values money more than sentiment, she's not worth the money and I'd suggest finding a new lady whose values are more in line with yours.
I don't have a problem paying a few thousand dollars for something she is going to hopefully wear for many decades. On the other hand, I would not spend so much that I was forced to make any lifestyle changes to afford the purchase. 30K is kinda ridiculous to me, but 5K is reasonable, although I would not spend 5K on diamonds.
5carat diamond rolling in a Lexus huh. Tell her she should be lucky you're even thinking about marrying her with those expectations.
LOL!! I bet when she moves out of her parents' house and starts paying rent/utilities, she might actually change her tune on what is affordable. ...except for the fact that the OP will probably be paying for those things instead of her parents.
I am certain if I was a man and my girlfriend told me that she would take her engagement ring and have it appraised I would drop her like the expensive, high maintenance woman she is about to become when that ring hits her finger.
Whatever you feel comfortable with getting her as far as size and price goes should be what she is happy with, if she isn't she does not love YOU but she does love the idea of being engaged, the wedding, showing off to her friends and family.
When it comes to the actual relationship and marriage she is not going to be real excited about all the work it takes to be a partner with you and share your lives together.
If she is demanding a 5 carat ring and a vehicle that you pay for when it comes to the house she will want a stinking mansion overlooking all the peasants in the valley and it will not be able to cost less than 5 million dollars.
Wow - I sense a huge amount of entitlement with your GF. A Lexus? Big diamonds? What other ridiculous demands is she asking for?
It's been said over and over and over and over - money does not translate to any sort of happiness. In the end, we all end up in the same place - DEAD. Jesus, the happiest guy I know makes $45K a year, his wife makes $43K and they have a modest home and are just enjoyable to be around.
I was married to a girl just like your girlfriend. The key word here is WAS. Nothing was ever good enough, big enough, fancy enough. Her materialistic behavior sucked the life out of me. We had everything...and I was an amazing provider....but nothing was real about her.
So, here's a question for you...do you want to deal with this type of behavior for the rest of your life? Are you going to buy this expensive ring, a representation of your love to her, and have her shun it because it's not at least $10K? Do you want to move to a subdivision, live in a great home that most would never dream of having, and have her complain about how the house across the street is bigger than the one you own with her? Can you deal with her perfectly fine Lexus becoming an older model and some point and her complaining about it and beating you down if you don't buy her a new one? Most wise men wouldn't...
Let me tell you, you will never win this battle. Proceed with extreme caution...
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