Quote:
Originally Posted by GotHereQuickAsICould
Help!
Just found out SIL will be arriving a week ahead of time and will be staying with us.
She is handful. Always need special attention. If you're serving coffee she needs decaf, and some special creamer that can only be found at a gourmet shoppe. She takes forever in the bathroom, which is not a problem in this house as we have plenty of bathrooms, but since she needs a ride everywhere, she always holds everyone up.
She is stuck at a mental age of 15, always needs to be the center of attention. She used to wear white to weddings but since several commented on it, she now wears long silver gowns.
I wanted this to be just my daughters and me doing makeup and hair, giggling and carrying on. Now the silly SIL will be in the midst of it all.
I responded immediately to her message of when her flight will land with the suggestion that she come closer to the wedding. Alas, she doesn't want to change her flight as this will mean additional costs.
Duh hubby nixed the idea of suggesting she stay in a hotel. I've suggested that he escort her around, keep her occupied, be late to all the events. He agreed, but I doubt he will do this as all our kids will be home and he, of course, wants to hang out with them.
She also drinks too much and has been known to make a fool of herself.
We can just grin and bear it and carry on. Nothing's perfect.
As I'm sure that many of you have encountered similar relatives, any suggestions on how to make this go more smoothly?
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Heck yeah I've got a suggestion for you! You let your husband handle your needy, entitled SIL. She's not your sister. You know what a PITA she is. Your husband is the one who insisted that she stay at your home, rather than at a hotel, therefore, he is the one who is accepting responsibility for her, not YOU.
You said that all the kids were going to be in town, so
HE will want to spend time with them. Well,
he shouldn't have chosen
his sister over his kids, should he?
My suggestion is that you HOLD your husband to his word. Your kids are all going to be in town and YOU want to spend time with them. YOU do not want to spend time with her. She is HIS sister, NOT yours, you didn't invite her to stay, HE did. Because HE overrode YOUR decision for her to stay in a hotel, HE is the one who is responsible for seeing that she stays out of YOUR hair and out of your way. She is HIS responsiblity. Please try to remember that.
Honestly, this is how it would go here...
SIL- Can you take me to the store, I need to pick up a few things?
ME- I'm sorry, I really can't spare the time right now, but if you ask "Bob", I'm sure he'll help you figure something out.
BOB- Honey, would you mind taking "Tina" to the store. The kids and I were going to head over to _____ soon, so I really don't have time!
ME- Well hon, you shouldn't have invited her to stay. I told you that I don't have the time or patience to chauffer her around and entertain her while she's here. If you're going somewhere with the kids, then you're going to take her with you, or make a special trip BEFORE you head out with the kids. You're the one who invited her and you're the one who promised that YOU would take responsibility for her while she was here. Sorry, but I'm holding you to that promise. I am NOT taking her shopping...PERIOD!
On what planet, does it even appear to be fair or right, that your husband is allowed to turn you into his "minion", simply because he doesn't have the balls to say no? What kind of respect is he showing YOU, his wife, when he brings in an unwelcome, needy, immature, entitled sibling, then expects YOU to neglect yourself and your children, so that HE can hang out with his kids? I'll tell you what kind of respect he's showing you. He is showing you DIS-respect, in behaving that way!