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I think engagement parties are lovely as long as there is not the expectation of gifts. The showers and Jack and Jill are fine as long as the same people are not invited to more than one (ex. maybe the groom's workplace is throwing a Jack and Jill for coworkers, maybe the bride's coworkers are throwing her a shower, and maybe the bride's maid of honor is throwing a shower for family and friends to attend). The rehearsal dinner should be for only those involved in the wedding ceremony, and if any gifts are given, it should be the bride and groom giving a gift to thank these people. Obviously there needs to be a wedding. A pre-wedding brunch is fine; this is not about gifts but can be a lovely opportunity to spend time with loved ones before the wedding, if time (and money) permit.
I realized what we have going is by most standards, over the top, but more comforting to know everyone was invited to one event and only attended more than one if they insisted on double gift giving after being told they really really really were not at all expected to have done even what they already did
And the groom family and bride family and friends also live 1,400 miles from each other on different ends of the country so the attendees were not connected with perhaps one notable individual who crossed both events
So that's 3 gift grabs, plus the wedding. Have you no shame or decorum? The least you could do is state no gifts, please, we've picked your pockets enough.
I realized what we have going is by most standards, over the top, but more comforting to know everyone was invited to one event and only attended more than one if they insisted on double gift giving after being told they really really really were not at all expected to have done even what they already did
And the groom family and bride family and friends also live 1,400 miles from each other on different ends of the country so the attendees were not connected with perhaps one notable individual who crossed both events
If they were only invited to one, were they party crashing by attending others?
I'm thinking they were not formally invited, but informally because, hey...more gifts!
Come on, man. Good grief.
Tacky. Very tacky.
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So that's 3 gift grabs, plus the wedding. Have you no shame or decorum? The least you could do is state no gifts, please, we've picked your pockets enough.
What about the pockets being picked to throw the parties? OP isn't paying for those, either.
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You can throw as many parties for yourself as you wish but follow this one rule -- you only invite each person to ONE party of a gift giving kind. Other wise you're being gift grabby.
And I second -- an engagement party is to ANNOUNCE the engagement, and it is not a gift giving event. If everyone already knows about the engagement -- it's not an engagement party.
And the rehearsal dinner is where the bride and groom gift gifts to the attendants, not the other way around.
Hopefully no one is throwing a party for themselves. Especially one where gifts are involved.
An engagement party often is more of a "meet the families" event with no gifts; showers are traditionally held by close friends of the bride rather than family so to avoid the appearance of the family requesting gifts. As others have indicated, there isn't a problem with multiple showers as long as people are only invited to one; and the rehearsal and post wedding brunch are not gift giving events but more a way to graciously host and thank family and the wedding party for their help.
OMG... he's acting like a bride wanting to be a princess.
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