Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This is a separate issue and there are other threads about it. Basically, in some areas of the country and in some families out of town guests are always invited to the rehearsal dinner and in some places it is not the tradition.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot
This is not a separate issue. The OP said that they were from out of town. The spouses and other out of town guests that were there the day before the wedding should have been invited.
The point being that if out of town guests should be invited, the not inviting the spouse of an out of town person THAT IS IN THE WEDDING is beyond comprehension.
Back to my original comment "This is a separate issue and there are other threads about it." Thinkalot, apparently in your city or your part of the country or among your relatives out of town guests are ALWAYS invited to the rehearsal dinner, however, in other places out of town guests are NEVER invited to the rehearsal dinner. That can cause a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feeling when there are different expectations.
An even bigger shocker, some weddings do not even have a rehearsal dinner at all. Someone that I know just flew 2,000 to be best man at an wedding. There will be six people in the wedding party. Guess what? The only rehearsal will be the wedding party coming to the venue a half hour early to be told what to do and to do a mini practice. And, no rehearsal dinner for anyone (wedding party OR out of guests).
Last edited by germaine2626; 09-06-2015 at 10:07 PM..
As a hotel/event planner/group sales for 20+ years, I always encouraged brides and grooms and their families it was much better to do something cheaper and informal for a rehearsal dinner and invite all your out of town guests.
If my husband was in this wedding party, I wouldn't want him to say anything to the groom about spouses attending the rehearsal dinner. I wouldn't want to go to the dinner if the groom had to be set straight about what is appropriate.
I would be fine staying at the hotel ordering room service and a movie. If the other wives' wanted to have dinner that would work out.
Also, I wouldn't give a wedding gift to this couple. I would say all the expenses, being in the wedding and trip, were our gift. I would feel this would be appropriate under the circumstances.
This couple should have really had a small wedding and reception they could afford or elope.
If my husband was in this wedding party, I wouldn't want him to say anything to the groom about spouses attending the rehearsal dinner. I wouldn't want to go to the dinner if the groom had to be set straight about what is appropriate.
I would be fine staying at the hotel ordering room service and a movie. If the other wives' wanted to have dinner that would work out.
Also, I wouldn't give a wedding gift to this couple. I would say all the expenses, being in the wedding and trip, were our gift. I would feel this would be appropriate under the circumstances.
This couple should have really had a small wedding and reception they could afford or elope.
Totally agrragree, but I would have to say something.
Not only is is customary to invite spouses to the rehearsal dinner, it is customary and correct to invite ALL out of town guests. The idea is that all out of town guests do not know anyone in the area, so, if they choose to arrive the night before, it is polite to include them in the dinner.
That is ridiculous!
I flew to TX for a lovely early afternoon wedding this past spring.
Everyone, except for the bride and groom, was from out of town.
There is NO reason that ALL 175 of us should be at a rehearsal dinner... and we weren't. Just the people who actually had to rehearse went to the rehearsal dinner.
And guess what?
We made our own fun and met others on our own as we were all in adjacent hotels.
I flew to TX for a lovely early afternoon wedding this past spring.
Everyone, except for the bride and groom, was from out of town.
There is NO reason that ALL 175 of us should be at a rehearsal dinner... and we weren't. Just the people who actually had to rehearse went to the rehearsal dinner.
And guess what?
We made our own fun and met others on our own as we were all in adjacent hotels.
Obviously, for destination weddings or a situation that you describe (ALL 175 guests from out of town) I have never heard of everyone being invited to the rehearsal dinner.
However, when the vast majority of wedding guests are in town or a short driving distance away and only a very few people come from long distances it has been my experience that the "out-of towners" are invited. That is the expectation in my circle of friends and among my relatives. Your experience may be different. On other threads about this, in some communities and among some circles of friends and among some families, out of town guests are never invited to rehearsal dinners.
A quick example, my nephew's wedding had about 150 guests and almost all lived in that town or were within a two or three hour drive. Bride's grandparents flew in from 2,000 miles away, her sister flew in from 1,000 miles away, Groom's aunt & great-aunt drove 500 miles, two or three friends flew in from a long distance. None of these were in the wedding party but these 7 or 8 extra people all were invited to and attended the rehearsal dinner.
It was a great opportunity for the grandparents to meet the groom and his family, and for me (the aunt) to meet the bride and her family, etc. before the wedding.
But, some people may feel that grandma & grandpa should have been told to just sit in their hotel room or entertain themselves while their son & DIL and their granddaughter had the rehearsal and a nice dinner together because they weren't part of the "wedding party".
Last edited by germaine2626; 10-12-2015 at 03:14 PM..
Obviously, for destination weddings or a situation that you describe (ALL 175 guests from out of town) I have never heard of everyone being invited to the rehearsal dinner.
However, when the vast majority of wedding guests are in town or a short driving distance away and only a very few people come from long distances it has been my experience that the "out-of towners" are invited. That is the expectation in my circle of friends and among my relatives. Your experience may be different. On other threads about this, in some communities and among some circles of friends and among some families, out of town guests are never invited to rehearsal dinners.
A quick example, my nephew's wedding had about 150 guests and almost all lived in that town or were within a two or three hour drive. Bride's grandparents flew in from 2,000 miles away, her sister flew in from 1,000 miles away, Groom's aunt & great-aunt drove 500 miles, two or three friends flew in from a long distance. None of these were in the wedding party but these 7 or 8 extra people all were invited to and attended the rehearsal dinner.
It was a great opportunity for the grandparents to meet the groom and his family, and for me (the aunt) to meet the bride and her family, etc. before the wedding.
But, some people may feel that grandma & grandpa should have been told to just sit in their hotel room or entertain themselves while their son & DIL and their granddaughter had the rehearsal and a nice dinner together because they weren't part of the "wedding party".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick
My area is one of those of which you speak.
However, using your example, grandma and grandpa would be part of the ceremony. So they would be at the rehearsal dinner.
Grandma & Grandpa were not "part of the ceremony" technically they were "just wedding guests" who happened to be relatives just like the bride's sister.
BTW, on other threads on this topic, some people felt that absolutely no one who was not a part of the actual wedding party, except for the actual parents of the bride & groom should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. Their point was "where do you draw the line"?
I suppose that adding the bride's mom's parents & the bride's dad's parents and the groom's mom's parents and the groom's dad's parents already added eight more people. If there are a few divorces and remarriages that would add even more people who were not a part of the rehearsal. And then what about all of the aunts and uncles and god-parents? Hmmm.
Last edited by germaine2626; 10-12-2015 at 05:16 PM..
BTW, on other threads on this topic, some people felt that absolutely no one who was not a part of the actual wedding party, except for the actual parents of the bride & groom should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. Their point was "where do you draw the line"?
I suppose that adding the bride's mom's parents & the bride's dad parents and the groom's mom's parents and the groom's dad's parents already added eight more people. If there are a few divorces and remarriages that would add even more people who were not a part of the rehearsal.
Yep... that is the norm in my area.
No one except those involved in the ceremony. Not just the wedding party itself, but the celebrants, readers, singers, etc.
Grandparents (and greats) ARE part of the ceremony, so they would be invited. Now whether or not they are up for a late evening is yet another story!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
