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being alive for many many decades, we have all gone through hard times. whether it be in middle school when you're trying to fit in, high school when trying to get good grades to get into college, finding a job upon graduating, all the immature relationships and heartbreaks in between, but i must say, having a wedding is definitely in my list, in my entire life, top 3 worst times of my life
the stress, timing, money, pressure, stress, planning, more time, and it's all done for everyone else (friends and family) and never for myself. i'm not a type of person that gets depressed and gets suicidal thoughts like some people out there you see in the news, but if i ever did, i would contemplate suicide instead of having a wedding just cause of how stupid i think it is and how much i hate it
if you really want to "celebrate" my relationship and union with my significant other, just paypal me a gift and take me out for a drink or 2 is enough or buy me a nice $100 steak dinner.
am i the only one that feels this way?
disclaimer - i am posting this at a wedding lol
Last edited by unknown00; 09-19-2015 at 03:18 PM..
I've been married twice and neither wedding day was stressful or required much planning. They were both small weddings, everything was exactly what was wanted, boundaries were firmly in place and a good time was had by all. If it's that bad, you're doing it wrong.
being alive for many many decades, we have all gone through hard times. whether it be in middle school when you're trying to fit in, high school when trying to get good grades to get into college, finding a job upon graduating, all the immature relationships and heartbreaks in between, but i must say, having a wedding is definitely in my list, in my entire life, top 3 worst times of my life
the stress, timing, money, pressure, stress, planning, more time, and it's all done for everyone else (friends and family) and never for myself. i'm not a type of person that gets depressed and gets suicidal thoughts like some people out there you see in the news, but if i ever did, i would contemplate suicide instead of having a wedding just cause of how stupid i think it is and how much i hate it
if you really want to "celebrate" my relationship and union with my significant other, just paypal me a gift and take me out for a drink or 2 is enough or buy me a nice $100 steak dinner.
am i the only one that feels this way?
disclaimer - i am posting this at a wedding lol
If you don't want a wedding, why in the world have one? Last I checked, there was no requirement to have one. Just say it's not for you and move on. I've never known anyone to express such angst over something they don't need to do.
If you don't want a wedding, why in the world have one? Last I checked, there was no requirement to have one. Just say it's not for you and move on. I've never known anyone to express such angst over something they don't need to do.
The pressure, externally, to be the norm and have one
No -- that's ridiculous. If you don't want to do that stuff DON'T.
Here's what you do. You both decide get married and keep your mouths SHUT about it -- no engagement ring, no announcements.... and then go get married at City Hall. You can get an engagement ring -- you don't wear it. Or maybe your wedding ring is a band of diamonds.
That way, no one has "expectations" and questions and all that rigamarole of explaining it over and over, you come back from a weekend or vacation married and people are happy for you and it's all good.
Might be a little harder if your paper lists and people read the "vital statistics" of marriage licenses issues... but who reads the newspaper anymore?
The pressure, externally, to be the norm and have one
In that case, it isn't the hypothetical wedding that's the problem. It's your concern with external pressure or what others think. It's not so hard to choose to marry in a way that you and your partner prefer.
Mine was great.
The only thing that stressed me out was my brides maids. They picked out a dress, then a month before my wedding they came to me and said they couldn't afford it ($150). I understood but was irritated they didn't tell me sooner. My mom bought them all matching tops and told them to wear their own same color skirts.
Got complaints they didn't like the tops, then one of my future sister in laws forgets her skirt and we had to borrow one the day before.
But other than that the wedding and planning were easy breezy. I literally didn't care about my colors, venue, whatever. My dress was off the rack, my venue was free in the church gym, my mom arranged the food and flowers ( silk orchids ), and my husband took care of the music and picked our colors (lavender, cream, and royal purple).
I do wish I had asked a different person to play the music when we walked up and down the aisle and my photographer forgot to take a picture of my full train and veil (beautiful chiffon and lace) but they were both friends and provided their services free, so I got what I didn't pay for, lol.
10 years married and counting. The wedding day is a blink in the eternity of life together, people who stress about weddings lack perspective, and family members who try to make weddings stressful and complicated are self centered jerks.
If you don't have a wedding, I will probably not buy you a $100 steak dinner or put money into your paypal account.
I might send a small gift that I usually send to people if I'm not invited to their wedding but still generally want to celebrate their life moments (which has never been more than $20 and has never been cash).
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