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I am finally insisting that my husband buy me an engagement ring, after almost 10 years of marriage. Not a diamond, because we could never afford a really good one. Instead, it will be a glorious trillion-cut Montana sapphire. I've been the breadwinner for the entire marriage, paying for absolutely everything, so I don't feel bad about making this demand.
I do suspect that there is a correlation between a man's treatment of his wife and the care and sacrifice he puts into the engagement ring he buys for her.
I'm curious: If you are the breadwinner, who pays for absolutely EVERYTHING, how is your husband going to pay for the engagement ring?
If you suspect that there's a correlation between the ring and a man's treatment of his wife, does that mean that your husband hasn't treated you very well during your ten year marriage? Do you expect the ring to change that?
Some guys on here don't understand that if you are actually with someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with - chances are that you are on the same page in terms of rings. And chances are that you will actually WANT to make them happy. It's hard to understand with a hypothetical girlfriend. Although I don't really understand why the hypothetical girlfriend is always some high maintenance princess.
Because women are evil, gold-digging whores.
Do you not READ this forum?
Me, I love nice jewelry. I have what (in this thread) would be considered by most of the respondents to be a "down payment on a house."
Eh. My husband knew I liked nice jewelry. He wanted me to have a nice ring. He paid cash. No interest payments or indentured servitude. We did not go without trips, meals, a roof over our heads, good cars, etc. He set the price and it exceeded my loose estimate of "reasonable" by about triple. But, I acquiesced because it was his choice, really. Another poster nailed it earlier. A good many large/expensive rings you see are purchased because the man decided that was what he wanted his future wife to be wearing. This isn't all driven by the female desire to spend some poor dude's rainy day fund.
My engagement ring is rarely noted by anyone except jewelers and people who love high-end diamonds as a "down payment on a house" because it's not gigantic. It's 1.5 carats and it's a solitaire.
So, not a diamond chip and not a tea saucer.
I'd say most women I encounter in my neck of the woods who wear diamonds have rings roughly the same size as mine. Some bigger. Some smaller. But, roughly similar sizes.
I'd be amazed at the comments, but this place is CD-R, after all.
ps. You can buy a 1-carat diamond for anywhere from about 2500 bucks to about 25k bucks. Not too many people know the difference.
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After I proposed, we went and picked out the engagement ring as well as our wedding bands. Her set cost $1000. I had a $1500 limit and was quite pleased when she gravitated toward one that was lower than that so I didn't have to turn down a more expensive choice. I think she knew more or less what price I could & was willing to pay.
If the woman cares about her fiance, she will probably not care too much about the price of the ring, but they DO want a ring and they DO want it to be real. Pretty much every American girl has certain engagement & wedding fantasies, and one of them is telling people they're getting married & then showing the ring & giggling. Why they love that I don't know.
I'm curious: If you are the breadwinner, who pays for absolutely EVERYTHING, how is your husband going to pay for the engagement ring?
If you suspect that there's a correlation between the ring and a man's treatment of his wife, does that mean that your husband hasn't treated you very well during your ten year marriage? Do you expect the ring to change that?
1) Change in husband's circumstances is allowing him to make some purchases at the moment.
2) My husband isn't a bad person and we are generally happy, but I think I've been taken for granted a bit, and I've noticed that other women who haven't had engagement rings are sort of in the same boat. No engagement ring may perhaps be a sign that the husband feels that the wife wasn't quite good enough to marry and should feel grateful that her husband married her. Or perhaps that the wife isn't great at advocating for herself. I don't mean that the husbands are axe murderers .
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,680 posts, read 41,533,415 times
Reputation: 41302
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
First paragraph: you can sell a ring too, plus psst: cars depreciate horrifically.
Second paragraph: you don't even plan on ever doing this, yet you're managing to be resentful on behalf of men who may not even want you to be, hmmm. Talk about going far out of your way in order to find a way to attack and resent women and accuse them of feeling/doing things that may not even be on their radar... This is just weird.
Personally, I'm more p$&@ed at the desperate guys who do this crap. I don't wear or believe in wearing jewelry for practical reasons and I ever decided to marry a woman I'd have to waste money on something that can easily be stolen by a pickpocket and very easy to lose or else she will likely restive to marry me thanks to societal expectation.
Personally, I'm more p$&@ed at the desperate guys who do this crap. I don't wear or believe in wearing jewelry for practical reasons and I ever decided to marry a woman I'd have to waste money on something that can easily be stolen by a pickpocket and very easy to lose or else she will likely restive to marry me thanks to societal expectation.
Why? If it's what they choose to do and it makes them happy?
And yes, it DOES make guys happy, many many guys. It's not "desperation" for a man who loves the person he's marrying.
I'm confused as to why you'd be angry at someone for being happy and doing something you don't personally do. Other guys aren't allowed to do things you don't personally do? That is strange. People do all sorts of different things, spend on all different things...people are all just different. That p*sses you off?
Why? If it's what they choose to do and it makes them happy?
And yes, it DOES make guys happy, many many guys. It's not "desperation" for a man who loves the person he's marrying.
I'm confused as to why you'd be angry at someone for being happy and doing something you don't personally do. Other guys aren't allowed to do things you don't personally do? That is strange. People do all sorts of different things, spend on all different things...people are all just different. That p*sses you off?
I didn't realize pick pocketing engagement rings of women's fingers was a national epidemic. Seriously, though, most women don't easily lose their engagement rings because they rarely if ever take them off.
I don't really care about engagement rings, but to some women they mean something. If you passed up a woman perfect for you because having an engagement ring was important to her then you lack good judgment. It's really not a big deal either way. I do agree it doesn't have to be expensive to mean something, and it really doesn't HAVE to be a diamond.
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