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I guess you wouldn’t do what others do “Whopee doo! He bought me an expensive ring. What am I supposed to do? Poor me” but you would actually put your foot down and turn him down.
Indeed I would have. It may sound kind of mean or ungrateful, but it's one of those little things I take very seriously. A string of wooden beads, or a piece of amber (especially if it has a fossilized insect inside), I'd squeal with delight. A box from Tiffany's? "Excuse me, but I think you've mistaken me for someone else. I hope you kept the receipt."
ETA: of course he knew about this beforehand, so he took the opportunity to mess with me when he presented the ring. He handed me the box and told me it was a Zippo with my name engraved on it; ie. the "perfect" gift for someone who does not smoke.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 01-06-2016 at 01:44 PM..
Do you consider the ring more important than the relationship itself?
That is a MIGHTY big leap you've made there.
I personally consider the ring as part of the relationship. As a result of living 42 years, I've been blessed with being able to choose partners who respect that I feel that something is important. Surely, we don't agree on everything, but if I say "hon, this is really important to me", without a doubt, it will be respected.
Yes, having a ring is important to me. Frankly, it makes little to no difference to me if others feel differently.
I will say again that we are at the stage of life where we are literally speaking about disposable income. Whatever the budget would be, it's not as if we're taking it from things that would otherwise be a priority. He knows that this is important to me, there's no more pressing need for the money-- why wouldn't he do what I feel is important?
If he didn't? That would really make me reconsider what we have. We've had this discussion. He knows how I feel. So, if all other things stay the same (i.e. whatever would have been earmarked for a ring now needs to be used for more serious pressing matters), I'd feel that it was a slap in the face.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
He is not getting anything and still marrying you, right?
So, I should be getting him a gift as well? Is that the way it "should" work now?
I always found "keeping track" of monetary expenditures in this way to be awfully tiring.
But, I'll play along. What, praytell, should he be "getting"?
I can't think of an engagement ring I WOULDN'T want to wear every day. Are you saying that the stone could conceivably be too small/too modest for you to feel like you want to wear it daily? I'm not sure I'm understanding.
Oh I could think of a LOT of rings I wouldn't want to wear! Just because it was as presented with an engagement wouldn't mean it was automatically appealing to me. My goodness I would never buy ANYONE a ring, for ANY reason, unless I had a really good idea of what they liked.
Should we all post pictures of our rings as evidence?
Can't. I didn't get an engagement ring, so there's nothing to show. My wedding ring was lost 10 years ago and never replaced, so I can't show that either. Maybe my ring finger, which obviously has no dent or tan line? Nah... I could still have the big rock secretly stashed with all the rest of my jewels.
Don't believe everything you read on a site like that. Those sites encourage many things that are actually done by some but not others. Any real man will get the ring he can afford to pay for with cash, without using a credit card or without taking out a loan and any real woman who loves that man will accept it gracefully for the symbol it represents.
For once, I agree with you.
Although I use a credit card for most expenses (for the rewards points)...but hold your horses. I pay it off each month or, if I have a running balance, it's because it's 0% APR over X months and I have the money in the bank to pay them off at any time.
I just bought my GF a pair of $40 ($100 original price) 18kt gold plated earrings with some diamonds for Christmas and she adores them. I think I found a keeper.
I personally consider the ring as part of the relationship. As a result of living 42 years, I've been blessed with being able to choose partners who respect that I feel that something is important. Surely, we don't agree on everything, but if I say "hon, this is really important to me", without a doubt, it will be respected.
Yes, having a ring is important to me. Frankly, it makes little to no difference to me if others feel differently.
I will say again that we are at the stage of life where we are literally speaking about disposable income. Whatever the budget would be, it's not as if we're taking it from things that would otherwise be a priority. He knows that this is important to me, there's no more pressing need for the money-- why wouldn't he do what I feel is important?
If he didn't? That would really make me reconsider what we have. We've had this discussion. He knows how I feel. So, if all other things stay the same (i.e. whatever would have been earmarked for a ring now needs to be used for more serious pressing matters), I'd feel that it was a slap in the face.
So, I should be getting him a gift as well? Is that the way it "should" work now?
I always found "keeping track" of monetary expenditures in this way to be awfully tiring.
But, I'll play along. What, praytell, should he be "getting"?
why though? why is having a ring so important to you? i'm just curious.
I always thought an expensive ring is a waste of money. Especially if you don't have much.
But if he has money, then why not? If he spends $50k on a new car, why go cheap on the future wife?
I'd be just as unlikely to be in a relationship with somebody who would buy a 50k car as one who'd drop months of pay on a ring.
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