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Sooo...why should we not have had a nice ceremony?
I think what is happening is the MIL offered at one time. Then one kid no wedding. Second kid no wedding. Now they want a wedding.
No one said you can't have a nice wedding after there are children. If you had 3 children without being married and then wanted one it seems like a gift grab.
No one said you can't have a nice wedding after there are children. If you had 3 children without being married and then wanted one it seems like a gift grab.
So its ok to have a wedding when you have two kids, but not once the third comes around?
It is not for any of you to decide if the OP deserves a wedding or not, and not for you to decide if his mil should help pay. She said she would help. Now she's not. That's the point. What a bunch of judgmental posters!
When you start a family, have whatever number of kids, and years later decide to have a wedding it looks like a gift grab.
A second wedding where one or both have children is different and should be celebrated.
I disagree. If they haven't had one wedding yet, how is it more of a gift grab than someone who already got married, already collected gifts, and is having another wedding?
this is so sad. My mother always told me my inlaws raised my husband, I love him, so they did something right. So much bickering. Filing a law suit because MIL couldn't see kids one time because you were busy. There is much, much more to this entire story.
As far as the gift, my son got married last weekend. Both sets of parents received gifts from the bride and groom. They just wanted to say thank you for being parents. My daughter and SIL did the same thing a few years ago. All of their friends have done the same. I'm not sure where the tradition came from, probably the same person that invited all the holidays that we buy cards for. LOL
Your MIL isn't going to change, but for the sake of you wife and children don't make a big deal out of it. It's a big day, don't ruin it. (by the way- I didn't get flowers at the wedding last week. Neither did the mother of the bride or grandmothers.We all flew there, we couldn't take the flowers home. It was no big deal and no one cared. It saved money as well).
this is so sad. My mother always told me my inlaws raised my husband, I love him, so they did something right. So much bickering. Filing a law suit because MIL couldn't see kids one time because you were busy. There is much, much more to this entire story.
As far as the gift, my son got married last weekend. Both sets of parents received gifts from the bride and groom. They just wanted to say thank you for being parents. My daughter and SIL did the same thing a few years ago. All of their friends have done the same. I'm not sure where the tradition came from, probably the same person that invited all the holidays that we buy cards for. LOL
Your MIL isn't going to change, but for the sake of you wife and children don't make a big deal out of it. It's a big day, don't ruin it. (by the way- I didn't get flowers at the wedding last week. Neither did the mother of the bride or grandmothers.We all flew there, we couldn't take the flowers home. It was no big deal and no one cared. It saved money as well).
Just out of curiosity, what part of the country are you from, where this tradition is popular? I'm 64 years old and have attended dozens of weddings and have never heard of it. Most of the other posters have never heard of this tradition either.
Of course, it may be a very common tradition were you live and where the OP and his MIL live. Actually, I think that it is a nice tradition.
Just out of curiosity, what part of the country are you from, where this tradition is popular? I'm 64 years old and have attended dozens of weddings and have never heard of it. Most of the other posters have never heard of this tradition either.
When my sister got married, she gave my parents a present at brunch the day after the wedding. It was not something that any of the guests knew about, since the brunch was just parents and siblings. I don't see it as any different then the gifts the bride and groom give the wedding party. Its not something I've ever seen done publicly, so it doesn't involve the other wedding guests.
When my sister got married, she gave my parents a present at brunch the day after the wedding. It was not something that any of the guests knew about, since the brunch was just parents and siblings. I don't see it as any different then the gifts the bride and groom give the wedding party. Its not something I've ever seen done publicly, so it doesn't involve the other wedding guests.
That could be it. Even though I have also attended many rehearsal dinners & morning after breakfasts and that type of thing, it could be something that the bride or groom just give the parents in private and don't even mention to anyone. So maybe it has been going on and I just don't realize it.
Frankly, I think that it is a nice idea.
I can think of something similar. The night before our son left for college he brought home a dozen red roses and a beautiful card for his father and me. He wrote a beautiful letter about how much he loved us and thanked us for all of our hard work in raising him to be the man that he was becoming. It was very touching. But, except for his younger sister, who also received roses and a personal letter & card from him, I don't think that we ever told anyone about it. So, maybe every teenager who is going off to college does something similar for their parents & siblings and I just don't know about it because it is sort of private (but, I rather doubt it).
I think what is happening is the MIL offered at one time. Then one kid no wedding. Second kid no wedding. Now they want a wedding.
No one said you can't have a nice wedding after there are children. If you had 3 children without being married and then wanted one it seems like a gift grab.
We specified "no gifts" when we got married and we had a VERY small wedding for immediate family (our parents/grandparents/kids) only.
We also paid for the entire thing ourselves. That said, if one of our parents had offered to pay and blew things off the whole time we were planning, I would've been as annoyed as the OP and I would not have wanted to give some gift to the person that made my planning more stressful by going back on a promise.
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