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I was thinking the same thing. One father-daughter dance, One time being announced at their child's wedding, One time this and One time that. But that means only one wedding per person and you already are breaking that rule.
But, shouldn't your husband have the opportunity to have his chance to have a mother-son dance and have his parents announced at the reception, etc.?
It is like you, and your parents, are punishing your future husband and his family because he did not have a big wedding like you did.
And, IMHO, many couples, if not most couples do not fight about wedding arrangements. They discuss and agree on things.
I'll ask you again. If your first wedding was held at a courthouse, and your fiancé had a big wedding, would you now want a father-daughter dance and all the trimming of a regular wedding like he does? Really think about it.
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Originally Posted by Jdawg8181
Every single couple I know fought about wedding planning. It's just life. You can't agree all the time on everything.
There is no rule that a bride can't have a second wedding... I got abused and beaten and hit @ my first wedding by my ex husband on our wedding day and throughout our marruage... I think that does entitle me to a do-over.
I just want a smaller-scaled wedding from what I had last time.
How do I do this though if he wants all the bells & whistles?
I am sorry that your first husband was abusive.
But, imagine that your first wedding was at the court house. Probably no guests, maybe not even a couple of friends or your parents as witnesses, probably not a dance, probably not a wedding dinner, probably not a big party or a reception to celebrate. Imagine your fiancé had a big first wedding with all the "bells and whistles" and he is now telling you "I want a smaller scaled down wedding" so no parent-child dance for you at the reception, your siblings not included in the wedding party, etc. etc. Wouldn't you feel cheated out of the wedding that you desire? Maybe he is feeling the same way.
Again, IMHO, most couples do not have major disagreements about wedding planning. At least not the couples that I know.
How do I do this though if he wants all the bells & whistles?
I get wanting a smaller scale, but an announcement and a couple of dances really won't take more than 10 minutes. Is that 10 minutes the hill you want to die on if it makes your husband happy?
I get wanting a smaller scale, but an announcement and a couple of dances really won't take more than 10 minutes. Is that 10 minutes the hill you want to die on if it makes your husband happy?
It's not so much about time... it's more that we are not hiring a 'day of coordinator' or a bridal attendant so it is on him & me to make sure people are where they need to be.
It seems very stressful. I want my wedding day to be relaxing & fun and no stressing out about "OMG where is Sarah?" "My dad is in the bathroom & our dance is coming on" "does the flower girl have her basket?"... just stresses me out.
It's not so much about time... it's more that we are not hiring a 'day of coordinator' or a bridal attendant so it is on him & me to make sure people are where they need to be.
It seems very stressful. I want my wedding day to be relaxing & fun and no stressing out about "OMG where is Sarah?" "My dad is in the bathroom & our dance is coming on" "does the flower girl have her basket?"... just stresses me out.
I have never even heard of a someone hiring a "day of coordinator", except for celebrity weddings or those million dollar "Platinum weddings" on TV.
Most of those situations that you listed are usually handled by the maid of honor and/or best man and even if they aren't, they certainly aren't anything for the bride or groom to stress over.
I wish you the best of luck on your wedding day and a long and happy marriage.
I have never even heard of a someone hiring a "day of coordinator", except for celebrity weddings or those million dollar "Platinum weddings" on TV.
Most of those situations that you listed are usually handled by the maid of honor and/or best man and even if they aren't, they certainly aren't anything for the bride or groom to stress over.
Heck, usually the announcements and the special dances are organized by the DJ. If you're already paying for a DJ, then asking them to play a couple of specific songs is really no big deal.
Wait, a minute. On what planet do women actually WANT to be a bridesmaid? Most of us begrudgingly accept the invitation out of duty while mentally calculating how much we're going to have to spend on a dress and shoes we'll never wear again. I'd be thrilled to find out I was off the hook.
It's not so much about time... it's more that we are not hiring a 'day of coordinator' or a bridal attendant so it is on him & me to make sure people are where they need to be.
It seems very stressful. I want my wedding day to be relaxing & fun and no stressing out about "OMG where is Sarah?" "My dad is in the bathroom & our dance is coming on" "does the flower girl have her basket?"... just stresses me out.
I've never heard of a 'day of coordinator'. However I was asked to be a mistress of ceremonies for a cousin. She explained what she wanted me to do, and I did it. Wore my own gown too. No one else needed to "co-ordinate". Perhaps you are creating the drama?
I have never even heard of a someone hiring a "day of coordinator", except for celebrity weddings or those million dollar "Platinum weddings" on TV.
Most of those situations that you listed are usually handled by the maid of honor and/or best man and even if they aren't, they certainly aren't anything for the bride or groom to stress over.
I wish you the best of luck on your wedding day and a long and happy marriage.
The venue recommends hiring one. My last wedding had a bridal attendant that was included in what we paid & she handled everything flawlessly. This place basically has no one to help. My MOH has my 2 year old niece to attend to. I dont feel it’s the MOH or Best Man’s job to do those kinds of things... thats why bridal attendants & ‘day of coordinators’ exist... but they are like $7,000
I have never even heard of a someone hiring a "day of coordinator", except for celebrity weddings or those million dollar "Platinum weddings" on TV.
Most of those situations that you listed are usually handled by the maid of honor and/or best man and even if they aren't, they certainly aren't anything for the bride or groom to stress over.
I wish you the best of luck on your wedding day and a long and happy marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181
The venue recommends hiring one. My last wedding had a bridal attendant that was included in what we paid & she handled everything flawlessly. This place basically has no one to help. My MOH has my 2 year old niece to attend to. I dont feel it’s the MOH or Best Man’s job to do those kinds of things... thats why bridal attendants & ‘day of coordinators’ exist... but they are like $7,000
Wow, $7,000 for one day of work?!?! No wonder your fiancé says that he does not think that you need one.
You mentioned that your wedding was only about 60 people. Do you have a second tier friend or co-worker or cousin who you could fly to the wedding and could handle that job? I bet that they would do it for free as a gift to you, or for a lot less than $7,000.
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