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So, I have recently attended two weddings and have yet to receive thank-you notes for the gifts. When I got married (15 years ago), I wrote out and sent my thank-you notes within 5 days of the wedding. I know that time frame is OVERLY aggressive, but what is considered appropriate? One wedding was 5 months ago, one was 3.........
(oh, and I know they received the gift, because they cashed the check within two weeks of the wedding...)
I don't think you're going to get one. The couple is the new generation where they are clueless about saying thank you whether by text, phone, card or facebook. By the way, I'd actually check their FB to see if they even did it.
If you see either of the couple I would ask and would mention that in our day we sent thank you's. Someone has to school them. I was not taught to send cards. I was taught thank you in person was enough until I got married and my then MIL told me about thank you cards. You can bet both of my kids have done them for every gift. Every birthday and Christmas gift they sent a card. My older sister paid for my son to visit her a few times in Oregon from the East coast. You bet my son sent a thank you card.
I was in my card box the other day, I have tons of thank you cards from when they were younger and got gifts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTsnowbird
I just sent off a b'day card to a grandkid. I usually enclose a $20 bill. However, this one got a check as I never hear from them if anything arrived. So they can go to the trouble of going to the bank and cashing it, and I will know it arrived. And BTW, I would be happy with a note, a phone call, a FB message, or anything. Or even if the next time I saw them, they said thanks for the b'day money. But NOTHING.
I would not send anything. When they ask why, tell them what you told us. My hubs grandmother stopped sending checks to some grand kids for this very reason. It was very effective.
I don't think you're going to get one. The couple is the new generation where they are clueless about saying thank you whether by text, phone, card or facebook. By the way, I'd actually check their FB to see if they even did it.
If you see either of the couple I would ask and would mention that in our day we sent thank you's. Someone has to school them. I was not taught to send cards. I was taught thank you in person was enough until I got married and my then MIL told me about thank you cards. You can bet both of my kids have done them for every gift. Every birthday and Christmas gift they sent a card. My older sister paid for my son to visit her a few times in Oregon from the East coast. You bet my son sent a thank you card.
I was in my card box the other day, I have tons of thank you cards from when they were younger and got gifts.
I would not send anything. When they ask why, tell them what you told us. My hubs grandmother stopped sending checks to some grand kids for this very reason. It was very effective.
I think my late DH would come back and haunt me if I treated his GK's differently.
What gets me is, if you give a kid something in person, even if it just a linty Life Saver from your purse, the parents are right there chiming, "what do you saaaaay?" But send it by mail, nothing. I have tried gifts, cash, and now a check with this one GK. Nothing. Oh well.
I would say 1 month, while everything is still fresh in your mind. If they could take the time and money to travel to your wedding, the least that can be done is spends a few minutes per person writing thank you.
I sent my to my guest in 2 weeks. It took my wife almost 2 years to send to her guests she invited.
But I did make sure to be a tad petty with a few guests and send a thank you card thanking them for their generous gift we received from them, knowing they didnt get us a gift or even a card, these were people who were from my church that were not old, broke or on a fixed income, just cheap lol
But I did make sure to be a tad petty with a few guests and send a thank you card thanking them for their generous gift we received from them, knowing they didnt get us a gift or even a card, these were people who were from my church that were not old, broke or on a fixed income, just cheap lol
Wow. You do know that even though most people give gifts, it's entirely voluntary, right? These people celebrated with you and did not deserve rudeness.
Wow. You do know that even though most people give gifts, it's entirely voluntary, right? These people celebrated with you and did not deserve rudeness.
I know its voluntary to give gifts, but if you cant even spend $1 to give a card that says congratulations etc, after ive spent all this money to invite you, feed you and entertain you for the afternoon, you might deserve some pettiness.
Like I said, this wasnt to any of the old people, or even young people that could be scrapped for cash. This was middle class to well off working folks who are not poor that my parents said I must invite etc. I was limited for space and chose to invite them over others that couldnt come or had space for and in the end, they actually mailed me a gift.
But I told everyone, thank you for coming and attending our wedding and for your generous gift, I just highlighted Generous Gift for them.
But I did make sure to be a tad petty with a few guests and send a thank you card thanking them for their generous gift we received from them, knowing they didnt get us a gift or even a card, these were people who were from my church that were not old, broke or on a fixed income, just cheap lol
Guests have up to a year to send you a wedding present. Did you wait a year before being petty about your thank yous? Maybe your guests were being petty right back and opted out of giving you a gift after your rude, generic thank you cards.
I did that before with a former friend. The gift I had ordered ended up being out of stock and wasn't expected to arrive until a few weeks after her wedding. About a week after the reception, I received her "thank you" card. It was printed out on computer paper and was a super generic "thank you, friends/family, for coming to my wedding and for your generous gift. I will think of you every time I use it." Maybe she was being petty with that response, I don't know, but it rubbed me the wrong way. I canceled the order for the gift I had picked out. She invited me to her baby show a few months later, but I declined the invitation. I hadn't seen her since the wedding, and before that, the only time I had seen her in the last 5+ years was at her bridal shower. I noticed a pattern of only hearing from her when I was expected to bring her a gift.
Her thank you card from the bridal shower also helped with my decision. One of the gifts I got her was a herb spinner (like a salad spinner) that was on her registry. My thank you card from her was "Thank you for the smallest salad spinner. I can't believe how tiny it is. -B." Wait...what? It was on your registry... I got you what you wanted, and now it sounds like you're mocking the size of it in your thank you card? Tacky! So that, combined with the generic wedding thank you card, I opted out of it all.
But I told everyone, thank you for coming and attending our wedding and for your generous gift, I just highlighted Generous Gift for them.
Like you physically highlighted it? That is extremely tacky.
But then I've never liked such generic thank you notes to begin with. If I buy you a vase, thank me for the vase, not for the "generous gift". At least add some personalization to it.
Maybe that is why it took your wife longer to write her thank you notes? Maybe she wasn't writing "Thanks for the generous Gift! -SAAN" in all her cards.
Dear Aunt Sally,
Jim and I really appreciated you taking the time to celebrate our special day with us. Jim is still amazed that you knew all the dance moves to Thriller, which really got the party started! The wine glasses you got us were stunning. We will think of you every time we use them and hope that next time you are in town you can stop by for a glass or two of wine in our new home.
I think my late DH would come back and haunt me if I treated his GK's differently.
What gets me is, if you give a kid something in person, even if it just a linty Life Saver from your purse, the parents are right there chiming, "what do you saaaaay?" But send it by mail, nothing. I have tried gifts, cash, and now a check with this one GK. Nothing. Oh well.
Do your grand kids thank you? If so, that's the difference. No one taught his grand kid to say thank you. Maybe include a note how you never know if they've gotten it or not? Send me a text to let me know you got this...
Do your grand kids thank you? If so, that's the difference. No one taught his grand kid to say thank you. Maybe include a note how you never know if they've gotten it or not? Send me a text to let me know you got this...
Like you physically highlighted it? That is extremely tacky.
But then I've never liked such generic thank you notes to begin with. If I buy you a vase, thank me for the vase, not for the "generous gift". At least add some personalization to it.
Maybe that is why it took your wife longer to write her thank you notes? Maybe she wasn't writing "Thanks for the generous Gift! -SAAN" in all her cards.
Dear Aunt Sally,
Jim and I really appreciated you taking the time to celebrate our special day with us. Jim is still amazed that you knew all the dance moves to Thriller, which really got the party started! The wine glasses you got us were stunning. We will think of you every time we use them and hope that next time you are in town you can stop by for a glass or two of wine in our new home.
Love Always,
XOXO
Absolutely perfect!
And how flipping hard is that? Thanks for coming, insert a memory, mention the gift, insert a thank you and sign.
No ones rewriting War and Peace in a thank you note!
__________________ Solly says — Be nice!
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Solly says — Be nice!
