Making a joke out of the first dance. Appropriate or not? (bride, formal)

[Lillie767]

I didn't have a head table or sweetheart table. Didn't have a receiving line. Didn't have a first dance. Didn't have a photo booth. No Elvis impersonators. etc.

Just had a lovely reception where everyone was relaxed and had a good time. Me included. My wedding reception was celebratory, not entertainment.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by Lillie767

I didn't have a head table or sweetheart table. Didn't have a receiving line. Didn't have a first dance. Didn't have a photo booth. No Elvis impersonators. etc.

Just had a lovely reception where everyone was relaxed and had a good time. Me included. My wedding reception was celebratory, not entertainment.

Ha...this was the best....specially no photo booth or Elvis impersonators.

O.P...the weird part IMO is that you are having a "fake groom" dance with you....BUT I totally support that it's your wedding 110% ofc. It's your night.

[KemBro71]

Originally Posted by SUPbud

I think your symbolic intrepretative dance should have a resolution, where your husband unmasks/replaces the imposter, and takes his rightful place as your partner.

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

O.P...the weird part IMO is that you are having a "fake groom" dance with you....BUT I totally support that it's your wedding 110% ofc. It's your night.

I think the "joke" isn't so much a fake groom as it is poking fun at the groom's lack of dance skills by swapping him out (and then back in) for a good dancer. I don't think the good dancer is meant to represent an alternate groom.

[emm74]

What about sticking with a more traditional first dance, but then do this routine at some point later on?

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by KemBro71

I think the "joke" isn't so much a fake groom as it is poking fun at the groom's lack of dance skills by swapping him out (and then back in) for a good dancer. I don't think the good dancer is meant to represent an alternate groom.

The good dancer takes the place of the groom tho....so... that part makes it super weird. It's a 1st dance for the bride & groom......with a fake replacement groom.

edit: ofc I understand the joke.......BUT.... IMO the joke is kinda on the bride & groom if they don't want to share a 1st dance together.

[SeaOfGrass]

Originally Posted by emm74

What about sticking with a more traditional first dance, but then do this routine at some point later on?

At the last wedding we went to, the bride and groom arrived at the reception and did some "goofy" dancing as they made their way to where the wedding party and dance floor were, before they had the actual first dance.

[nandorrei]

It seems weird to dance your first dance as a couple partly with another guy.
Teach him a few simple steps.
Dance your first dance as husband and wife together.

[reneeh63]

I'm so glad I got married before everything had to be performative - it was nerve-wracking enough as it was but to think every moment would be on record and rated by others would have been far worse.

Not that I'm superstitious otherwise but for something as momentous as your wedding I might feel it was tempting fate a bit by having another guy step in on the dance. Like is that somehow foretelling the future of your marriage? I dunno, just me.

[skaternum]

Ok, since you asked for opinions -- I despise going to receptions that try to be performances or cabarets. I don't need to see a choreographed dance of the attendants, Father of the Bride trying to be Patrick Swayze, or any other showy stuff. It's a *reception* not a performance. So no, I think a first dance with a joke dancer substitution is a bad idea. There are a lot of people who think like me and will not find it cute or amusing. Just slow dance with your non-dancer new husband and go cut the cake (without smashing it in each others' faces).

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by Dolce de leche

So me and my fiance have drunkenly come up with a joke for our first dance. It seemed funny, but now I'm having doubts if it is appropriate or not and how would people react. Need opinions.

I'm a dance teacher, while my fiance has 2 left feet. I'd say he is a stereotypical "manly man" heavily into rock (is in a band too) with the beard and zero interest in evening trying to learn how to dance. I thought I could plan something out where he barely needs to do any work, like a few basic steps, and I'll be actually dancing. Every wedding I've been to, a couple starts with just a slow traditional romantic dance and most of the times, eventually the music goes faster and they do some kind of silly routine meant to be funny or surprising (usually like macarena or gangnam style or something similar well known). It seems like everyone is doing that, so I wanted to do something like that too, just less cheesy, more like some kind of faster routine, like rock n roll or something (since my fiance is into rock, we figured rock n roll is the best middle ground for a dance).

Yesterday we were drinking and he suggested to make fun of himself. We'll start with a slow dance like everyone else, then go into rock n roll. He'll do a few basic moves and at some point he can kind of hide or leave the dance floor and have someone else replacing him, dressed like him, like a wig, fake beard etc, trying to look like him, but obviously not him (maybe way taller, shorter, bigger, smaller different skin colour etc) and doing a more complicated dance with me. And in the end he comes out to finish the song again as if it was him doing a professional dance all this time. Since I'm a dancer, there will be quiet a few friends from the dance scene attending, so I'm sure it will be easy to find a guy. He thinks its funny, cause he obviously can't dance and everyone knows it and he thinks he will be making fun of himself. I thought it was funny too, but now I'm having doubts if we'll be judged and if it is in a bad taste. It is supposed to be our first dance to symbolize our love, and then we have some other guy involved, as if I'm replacing him. At the same time we will do a proper slow dance at the beginning, so why not make a joke and have some fun with it in the end?

Just want opinions, if you were attending a wedding, and the bride and groom did that, will you think its funny or wrong and weird?

I do like your idea and it would be fitting since you teach dance plus everyone knows he can't dance. I like that you would have a slow dance with him too.

Having said that, would it be typical of you and fiance to joke around like that? My hub and I LOFAO during our vows. No reception, no dance, so I'll never have that.

I loved the idea by luo2013 and what she did with her dad.

I also agree with KemBro that you're not swapping out your groom.

I also agree with rrah that it's been done to death and that they're right, predictable at this point, like roll your eyes predictable because everyone is doing it or some version of it.

Skaternum, great suggestion, no cake smashing. I really despise that. It's so rude and looks degrading. Here the bride spent all that time and money on the gown, hair, make up and gets cake smashed all over her? It's one tradition I'd love to see outlawed.

Lastly, I agree with gobucks86, it's cool if that's what you want. and especially to make sure to make decisions where you wouldn't look back on and regret by either doing something or not doing something. You only get one first dance at a wedding, after all, so be sure you both think on it and are on the same page.

When you decide or after you're married, come back and bump your thread to tell us how it went.

Originally Posted by luo2013

I think it’s funny! Not sure how it’d go over... but you guys do you!

I will say for our father/daughter dance, i have years of dance experience and my dad can’t clap in time, so I was creative for ours. We did very basic rumba steps, and halfway through the song we did, there’s an instrumental part where I danced on my own (back to him) while he went to sit down and “catch his breath” and then I turn and see he’s sitting down, “force” him to come back and dance with me. Maybe something like that? So you’re both dancing together, but your fiancé gets a break. Just a suggestion that worked for my dad and I

Originally Posted by KemBro71

I think the "joke" isn't so much a fake groom as it is poking fun at the groom's lack of dance skills by swapping him out (and then back in) for a good dancer. I don't think the good dancer is meant to represent an alternate groom.

Originally Posted by rrah

1000% agree with Kembro--it's your wedding so to some reasonable extent you're free to do whatever you want. That said, this kind of thing has been way overdone to the point that it's boring and embarrassing. I wouldn't think it's funny or weird or wrong. I'd just think it was predictable-especially if planning and practice went into it.

Originally Posted by gobucks86

I think it's cool if that's what you want. I got married in August, and I made sure to make decisions where I wouldn't look back on and regret either doing something or not doing something. You only get one first dance at a wedding, after all, so I'd think on it. Now, maybe you wouldn't regret it and would look back on it with happiness forever. If so, go for it!! If there's any doubt, maybe think about it is all I'm saying. I personally wouldn't do that. And I've never been to a wedding where the bride and groom didn't do a traditional first dance. I've only seen it where the bride and her dad do something funny or so for their dance.

Wow, I'm 34 and I sound like "get off my lawn" guy LOL.