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Old 06-22-2009, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
10,643 posts, read 10,261,835 times
Reputation: 10533
Personally I think weddings are stupid especially given the fact that so many people are not religious yet go to the trouble to have a big traditional ceramony and profess their union before God.

If kids expect parents to foot the bill for an expensive wedding these days its because they have been brought up with a sense of entitlement. I suspose the tradition of the brides family footing the bill goes back to the old dowery. Daughters were so much a burden the family had to pay to get rid of them!
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Old 06-22-2009, 11:17 AM
 
12,575 posts, read 11,016,037 times
Reputation: 7170
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Personally I think weddings are stupid especially given the fact that so many people are not religious yet go to the trouble to have a big traditional ceramony and profess their union before God.

If kids expect parents to foot the bill for an expensive wedding these days its because they have been brought up with a sense of entitlement. I suspose the tradition of the brides family footing the bill goes back to the old dowery. Daughters were so much a burden the family had to pay to get rid of them!
Tried to give you reps, but you know the story....
Can't agree with you more, it's a big show for all the friends and friends of the parents...and yes, a big sense of entitlement...if the daughter's would have to pay for it, believe me, it wouldn't be the big business it is...
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Old 06-22-2009, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Eternal State of Confusion
7,104 posts, read 7,746,856 times
Reputation: 9142
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
We received wonderful photos!

Try this on.

My son in law negotiated with the photographer for a release on proofs. He received all the proofs (it was digital so he received a CD) and the legal right to copy away as their little hearts desired.

Everyone got all the photo's.

Don't be afraid to negotiate. Tell em straight up.

We did something similar with our photographer. Ours used both digital and film format and we made sure our cost included negatives, so by the time we returned from our honeymoon, I had prints of all the proofs, CDs with hi-res digital images and all the negatives.
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Old 06-22-2009, 12:00 PM
 
1,464 posts, read 1,502,704 times
Reputation: 1091
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
We received wonderful photos!

Try this on.

My son in law negotiated with the photographer for a release on proofs. He received all the proofs (it was digital so he received a CD) and the legal right to copy away as their little hearts desired.

Everyone got all the photo's.

Don't be afraid to negotiate. Tell em straight up.

is this how rediuclous weddings have gotten? lmao wow the right to copy my own pictures what a deal
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Old 06-22-2009, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh's 'EAST SIDE'
2,043 posts, read 3,050,675 times
Reputation: 2593
The people getting married, should save up and pay for their own wedding. End of discussion...lol
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Old 06-22-2009, 12:13 PM
 
2,019 posts, read 2,380,990 times
Reputation: 3107
Haven't read the entire thread yet but......

When I got married there was no way I was paying for 100+ of my "closest friends" to get drunk and act like asses on the dance floor for four hours, flowers that would be useful for a few hours and whatever. I also don't buy into that "we want to share our vows with our family and friends" crap.

We took my sister to City Hall, got married there and took our family out to dinner that night at a nice restaurant and picked up the tab. We didn't need envelopes or gifts.

I can't count the number of friends I have who were given an option by their parents of a lump sum amount of cash or a big wedding and they chose the wedding even though they don't have a pot to **** in. It's just ridiculous to me that people have this need to be on display for a day or this whole "I am the center of the universe today."

I think that two people who can't afford to pay for their own wedding should not be getting married. Anyone who expects their parents in these economic times to take a second mortgage or dip into retirement monies to fund their wedding is such a totally selfish person.
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Old 06-22-2009, 12:15 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
14,648 posts, read 16,109,624 times
Reputation: 18557
My husband and I went 50/50 on the deal.

But then, it only cost $50.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 06-22-2009, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Orlando
8,183 posts, read 10,772,618 times
Reputation: 49364
Mine was many years ago but we paid for all but the last $500.00 ourselves.

My dress was on clearance..but was perfect. The cake came from a local grocery store's bakery. Beautiful and only $75.00.
The hall was $35.00/hr but when the found out we were going to be their 1st outdoor wedding, they waived the fee.
We saved so many different ways and our friends still talk about how much fun they had and how charming it was.

My son must not be one of the spoilded ones. He was married in a Castle up in Lakewood Washingon. His FIL gave him a song and dance about how the bride's family is going to pay for it all......

Here's reality....when my DIL was deployed she didn't really spend any $$ so her pay and bonuses went into an account that was monitored by her dad. He did a good job, I'll give him that.
Every time my DS and DIL spend $$ on the wedding, DS was to inform his FIL and a transfer of funds was to take place. Wait a minute!! That's the bride's $$ not the FIL's
But guess what he (FIL) "neglected" to do? Yup..make the transfer.
My son ended up using his entire savings on this wedding. We offered to send up at least half just to help him out. No...all checks were returned.

1st thing they did as a married couple was get the FIL's name off the account. No harsh words were spoken they just saw a potential problem and handled it.

So some couples are lied to by their parents.
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Old 06-22-2009, 01:17 PM
 
12,575 posts, read 11,016,037 times
Reputation: 7170
When I married, it was closed to everyone but immediate family, then we threw a huge picnic for everyone...and asked them to come in picnic clothes...we had so much fun....I made all the food, except for the salads, which my family helped make...they each made one dish of somekind of cold salad....

I made, 1500 homemade tortillinis, 1000 raviolis, 60 lbs of sauce...(we had a commercial freezer) saug. with peppers and onions, fried cabbage and noodles, home made perogies...chicken parm...meat balls...put everything in huge aluminum serving trays, we had 3 ovens going...then placed the trays on sterno lighted serving trays....

the mom's and in laws helped with the cooking...

It was a ton of fun, we got a baseball game going, volleyball...table games, plus bacci ball....

I had a great time....
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Old 06-22-2009, 02:47 PM
 
7,363 posts, read 7,104,550 times
Reputation: 9972
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
When I married, it was closed to everyone but immediate family, then we threw a huge picnic for everyone...and asked them to come in picnic clothes...we had so much fun....I made all the food, except for the salads, which my family helped make...they each made one dish of somekind of cold salad....

I made, 1500 homemade tortillinis, 1000 raviolis, 60 lbs of sauce...(we had a commercial freezer) saug. with peppers and onions, fried cabbage and noodles, home made perogies...chicken parm...meat balls...put everything in huge aluminum serving trays, we had 3 ovens going...then placed the trays on sterno lighted serving trays....

the mom's and in laws helped with the cooking...

It was a ton of fun, we got a baseball game going, volleyball...table games, plus bacci ball....

I had a great time....
It was simple and everyone had a good time . good for you this is what I was talking about the simpler the better and yet did not cost that much except maybe the food . LOL !!! I am so glad you made a point to mention this .
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