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We could have had the showy wedding for the guests to enjoy, or we could use the money for a down payment on a house. We chose the house. We eloped for a total cost of $60.00. Still happily married and on our honeymoon 10 years later.
I've been to some of those BIG $$$$ weddings. So far, not one of them has lasted.
Personally, and it's a bit off topic - I would rather have all that money you spend for a wedding as a gift rater than wine and dine people who probably wonb't give you enough in gifts to cover the cost.
I don't think the engaged couple should EXPECT their parents to pay for anything. I'm just that way, though. I can never feel right about asking people to spend their money on me. When my dh and I got married, we paid for everything. We didn't ask for help, and no one offered - financially, that is - - there were quite a few people that stepped up to help set things up and prepare food. We had a beautiful wedding, on a budget that most couples might have spent on the dress alone!
I remember about a year after we got married going to a friends wedding and feeling a small pinch of jealousy at how amazing and perfect her wedding was (big $$$$), but it didn't last long - - - and unfortunately neither did their marriage! Our wedding may have not been "perfect", but sometimes perfect isn't what it seems - - - We have been married for 14 years now, so something must have been right!!
I have a girlfriend who has Prada tastes and a Payless budget. She kept trying to do all this expensive stuff but neither set of parents were willing to pay for it so the dummy took out a second mortgage on her home to pay for a wedding that lasted 20 minutes. I think people should have simple, intimate ceremonies and save their money for more important things.
It was simple and everyone had a good time . good for you this is what I was talking about the simpler the better and yet did not cost that much except maybe the food . LOL !!! I am so glad you made a point to mention this .
we also told everyone, if they bought any gifts, of any kind, they would be returned, as that isn't what it was all about...
I have a girlfriend who has Prada tastes and a Payless budget. She kept trying to do all this expensive stuff but neither set of parents were willing to pay for it so the dummy took out a second mortgage on her home to pay for a wedding that lasted 20 minutes. I think people should have simple, intimate ceremonies and save their money for more important things.
I do agree with you....and I don't believe a lot of people think as you and I do, until they've been thru it and are older...and, as in every thing else, it is personal prefrence....but, this thread was started due to the post on another forum I read, where the woman, was threatening to make her in laws pay for the rest of their lives, b/c they wouldn't pay for the reception dinner, or the alchol at her wedding, so she actually stated, "They will Never see their Grand children or their son again!!!" Sadly sick women like that, can do such a despairing act to others, and they don't blink an eye....as I stated before, can you imagine being married to that woman...if I were her inteneded, I would run as fast as I could, and let her keep the ring. Very sick woman... The heartache she is about to spew over the coming years, will change their poor lives forever. Very sad....
I look at it this way. I have a daughter and my wife occasionally reminds me that "one day we will have to pay for a wedding" to which I remind her that if I have to pay I get to have a say. Failure to agree and the check gets smaller. Now I think I will definitely be able to keep things under control and reasonable. I will NOT be spending 50K on ANYONE's wedding.
Two years ago my sister got married. My father spent thousands of dollars on the wedding. Thousands. Her husbands parents spent thousands on their honeymoon. Again, thousands. Actually, it is two years in August. Unfortunatly, they won't see the two year mark because I just found out last night they are getting divorced. My warped sense of humor is finding this as funny as a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest.
Oh, neither my parents nor my wifes mother paid a dime towards our marriage. I'm not daddy's little angel. Which since I am ranting, daddy thinks this is the first guy my sister has slept with. He'd really freak out if he knew she's been with over 20 men before her marriage at age 23. The marriage daddy spent thousands of dollars on. The marriage that is soon to be no longer. hahaha (oh, no kids thank God!)
I think the couple throwing the wedding should pay for it.
If the in laws want to pay for it, sure but no one should DEMAND someone pay for THEIR wedding.
we also told everyone, if they bought any gifts, of any kind, they would be returned, as that isn't what it was all about...
we had a great time.
And did everybody abide by your rules? I have to say, I understand where you're coming from, but that puts people in an awkward position. I know I wouldn't feel right attending someone's wedding (or any event for that matter) without bringing some sort of gift, whether it be cash, champagne, etc.. I would be very insulted if any of it was returned to me, regardless of the type of event.
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! 
! Our wedding may have not been "perfect", but sometimes perfect isn't what it seems - - - We have been married for 14 years now, so something must have been right
!!
Very sick woman...
