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Well, according to Miss Manners/Emily Post/etc, you shouldn't say anything about gifts on the invitation itself. It's an invitation, not a shakedown. What you can do is let your family and friends know this tactfully, so that if anyone asks where you're registered they can say, "oh, they haven't registered anywhere, but they're saving for a down payment on a house." Or if you have a wedding website, put something there.
Sorry, but any mention of money in any way, shape, or form is inappropriate. There is no getting around it.
The whole idea behind inviting someone to your wedding is so that they can share in your special day. It is not for you to soak your guests for money. If you want to do that, I'll suggest what Miss Manners suggests, which is to sit on a street corner jingling a cup.
"Don't give us gifts, they don't mean jack
I'll only return them and get cash back
Save yourself the time and gas miles
Cash in an envelope is what brings us smiles"
By a little known poet named Seeniorita
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha - that was fantastic!
Or she could copy a picture of Cuba Gooding on the invitation with a little air bubble of him saying:
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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^Yeah, I know I couldn't do it--ask for money. But I know some people would rather others do that than let them spend money on something they don't need or want. No one likes their gifts returned. Who returns money? Not many, I'm sure.
^Yeah, I know I couldn't do it--ask for money. But I know some people would rather others do that than let them spend money on something they don't need or want. No one likes their gifts returned. Who returns money? Not many, I'm sure.
If the couple wants money that badly, they can earn it by taking the time to return the gifts.
Although I will say that I must make an exception to my previous statement of not mentioning money at all: The only time it would ever be appropriate to mention cash on an invitation is to say, "In lieu of gifts, the couple requests that donations be made to [insert name of charity here--and I don't mean the names of the bride and groom]."
This is a giant peeve of mine, and if any couple I knew did it, it would guarantee that they get a breadbox from me, if I went to the wedding at all. Am I a guest or a bank?
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,004,411 times
Reputation: 9418
The more I think about this, the less it bothers me. Especially during these tough times. A lot of people are having a hard time. I'd be giving in the spirit of wanting it to be a blessing to them. Money is a blessing for many right now. I wouldn't be bothered by the request under these circumstances and depending on the way it was presented. Just not on the invitation.
It is incredibly rude to ask for gifts of any kind. Sorry. These are guests at your wedding, not its underwriters.
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