Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
make a list of things u've already got .. nobody will give u any over the top gifts like a 100,000 $ diamond engraved Vertu mobile phone ..apparently one of my friends got it and he keeps it in the vault .. cant afford to use it ..let alone lose it lol ..lame idea excuse me *sneaks out*
This is a cop out. No one is required to bring a gift. This is just ego talking.
Not necessarily. I wouldn't feel comfortable going to an event without a gift, especially when others are bringing something. I have family members who will commit that to memory- showing up to their wedding with no gift. It's a shame, but it happens.
I don't mind the registry, when I spend my hard earned money, I want the gift to be exactly what that person wants, not something I think they want or might need. I would be hurt to know my gift went in the Salvation Army pile. Lord knows I have one of those every year for Christmas and birthdays.
Not necessarily. I wouldn't feel comfortable going to an event without a gift, especially when others are bringing something. I have family members who will commit that to memory- showing up to their wedding with no gift. It's a shame, but it happens.
I don't mind the registry, when I spend my hard earned money, I want the gift to be exactly what that person wants, not something I think they want or might need. I would be hurt to know my gift went in the Salvation Army pile. Lord knows I have one of those every year for Christmas and birthdays.
I went to a wedding, picked out the gift, had it wrapped and took it to the wedding reception with me. I came home and saw the card for it laying on the table....they never knew I gave them a gift let alone that one....OH well.
Maybe someone already answered this but since I don't have time to read the whole thread, I just want to say that asking for money instead of gifts isn't uncommon in my area; it started off as a Ukrainian tradition that spread to other cultures. The wedding invitations say "Presentation" in small lettering at the bottom of the card where the R.S.V.P part is. Everyone understands "presentation" to mean money, or, for those who are uncomfortable with the idea of asking for money but not quite uncomfortable enough to let it be, "Presentation optional."
It is understood that even with the "optional," added, the couple would prefer gifts of money (otherwise, why say anything, right?)
The OP could try that - even if "presentation" isn't understood in your area the wording might cause guests to ask, at which point you could elaborate.
My personal view is that if it is cultural, it isn't rude but if asking for money isn't in your culture, then it is rather rude.
My cousin is getting married in June and they let everyone know they wanted cash. They noted on the invitation that they are not registered because they're lives are already established or something like that. He's Italian, so he knows that he will be receiving cash from one half of the family any way, gifts or not. I'm not sure what her background is. When I got married it was interesting see the striking differences between my dh's family and mine. They all brought gifts, no cash (and I would never have considered asking them for it). My family did the typical Italian thing ime and I new I had to have a card holder/box at the wedding.
They do have those lock boxes and wishing wells....use the one that locks and do not leave it near a door...my cousin had a huge wedding and every single envelope was stolen. So sad
Well, according to Miss Manners/Emily Post/etc, you shouldn't say anything about gifts on the invitation itself. It's an invitation, not a shakedown. What you can do is let your family and friends know this tactfully, so that if anyone asks where you're registered they can say, "oh, they haven't registered anywhere, but they're saving for a down payment on a house." Or if you have a wedding website, put something there.
We have a winner!
It was interesting to read how customs vary in other cultures though.
They do have those lock boxes and wishing wells....use the one that locks and do not leave it near a door...my cousin had a huge wedding and every single envelope was stolen. So sad
WHO would do such a rotten thing? Omg that's terrible!
To the OP, it's considered tacky to ask for money, but it wouldn't bother me if someone told me that's what they wanted. I always give money at weddings anyways!
Not necessarily. I wouldn't feel comfortable going to an event without a gift, especially when others are bringing something. I have family members who will commit that to memory- showing up to their wedding with no gift. It's a shame, but it happens.
I don't mind the registry, when I spend my hard earned money, I want the gift to be exactly what that person wants, not something I think they want or might need. I would be hurt to know my gift went in the Salvation Army pile. Lord knows I have one of those every year for Christmas and birthdays.
I see what you're saying. You work hard for your money, you go out and you look for that gift. That's time and money spent. So of course you want to get something they need or that they would use and not have it sit somewhere.
However the registry backfired on me. My friends were registered and I looked at it, saw that it was available. Well I go to the store, get it, come back and go online and saw that it was already purchased. Great. So now they'll have two of these things. I really didn't feel like going back, returning it and getting something else, so what I did was end up giving them money. What did I do with that gift? Turns out that I needed it as when I moved into my new apartment, it came in handy. And it got used. So to me it was a win-win.
But now I just give money. And yes I think its very tacky and tasteless for a couple to ask for money.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
