West Virgina -economical situation (Fairmont, Clarksburg: real estate, cost, rich)

[harborlady]

Ya, city. I think WVn's have a sense of humor about the charlatans coming down the pike, too. They'll come with a lawn chair to watch the ralph kramden show but are wise to keep their wallets in their pocket when folding up those chairs & head on home chuckling amongst themselves. The more frustrated the hare, the funnier it gets. Swamp land in florida, says silly rabbit? Let me get out my monopoly money.

I only wish some WVn's didn't get their feelings hurt by trash talking sophmores. If only they could see clearly the source, it would have its rightful insignificance. That particular OZ is a troublesome zen trickster that takes some many years to learn.

[appalachiangirl]

I don't think I would like living in CA (though I'd probably like the weather). A little too fast paced. Allthough I visited San Diego when my great aunt was living and liked the area (this was about 8 years ago). I'd love to visit Oregon and Washington state someday (hear it's lovely).

[harborlady]

appal I've been just about everywhere and most americans don't realize just how spectacular our country is. Oregon and washington have 2 million shades of green because it rains so much, so if you're needing sunshine, lake mead or lake havasu (AZ/NV) is a bit more chipper. Alaska reports their weather in terms of 'sun breaks'. I think Idaho and utah were the states that surprised me the most. All these years I thought potato state and pillar of salt floating mormons... they don't advertise because they're keeping it for themselves! lol

I loved san diego and especially san fran, but I don't have a sugar daddy to afford living there. Did you get to see napa valley region when you went?

Lesser known as america is ST thomas, the american carribean island, so no passport needed. They drive on the left side of the road because the donkeys naturally gravitated that way according to local lore, but that might be an inside jab for brits. Might be humid, but the rain comes quick then blows away. The constant trade wind I never really felt the heat. Rum is cheaper than milk because the land doesn't support cows, but goat meat isn't so horrible when they use the jerk sauce, chicken and pork are usually options. Have to have a hamburger it might cost you $20. Good place for a vegan, though, because fresh produce is cheap everywhere. Imports are usually 5 times the price, but locally produced items are one fifth so it's a trade off. My dad lived on a sailboat at anchorage and sometimes at marinas so rent was bare bones. The ocean is like bathwater at 80 degrees. Great memories of never never land. Wish everyone could go there just once. The pics of magens bay are not airbrushed- it really is that blue all the time. check it out...
United States Virgin Islands - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Retired Navy]

Originally Posted by David Kennedy

Sunshine is SO necessary to good health...and suppliments through the winter to replace the D vitamins.

The grieving process takes 2 yrs. When Dad died, I was stunned...with his passing, I lost a dearest friend. He followed mom by 19 months...that left the loneliness, raw and bewildered. I kept the house as a time capsule for 2 years. Didn't touch a thing...eventually got past it and let it go.

It's the stress that kills us...of everything, we must find a way to handle it. I got to the point where I refused to let it rule the things I did in my life. Others made adjustments too. I changed my lifestyle to work in less stressful environs. The writing helped...it became a therapy of sorts and I would reccomend that to everyone. What Hoppy Kercheval calls 'Steam Release...Write those things down about Mom and dad...keep them as a personal treasure and give them to a special person in the family when you make out your own Will.

I like Savannah..particularly Pooler and Richmond Hill. That area is fablous..I hope you are able to give it a look...

Your post reminds me of a seminar on Managing Stress I once attended. The speaker held up a glass of water and asked several of the participants to guess how much it weighed. After several guesses he said, "It doesen't matter how much it weighs, it's how long you have to hold it that matters. The longer you hold on to it the more uncomfortable it becomes". Stress and grief are both burdens that can be put down before they become unbearable. Coming back to West Virginia and changing jobs was my way of putting my glass down. When my father passed away in 1982 I went into a state of depression for about a year. I was fortunate to realize what was wrong with me and what was causing it and was able to turn it around before it really got BAD. Sometimes we just have to let go of some of the things we feel we have to hang on to but it's often difficult to seperate the grief from the memories that we need to keep.

[harborlady]

I guess it's natural to believe that we are somehow unique in sorrow and the only one who knows that taste in the back of the throat- the meaning of the word inconsolable. I felt the full meaning of that word not only with my mind, but with my body.
There is not one correct way to grieve, but I think folks generally muddle through dark places until they can break through the maze of self defeating thoughts. My moment came when I heard a simple line from a rikki lee jones song-
"... ten thousand ancestors dream of me..."
My realization was that they didn't want this life I was making for myself stuck in the darkest winter. I was not brought into this existence to suffer a hairshirt for 100 yrs. Everyday, every moment, is another opportunity to be happy, to create & build, and pay it foward. That was their true wish for me, and honoring that honors them too.
So there is my spring. I got the calendar moving again after being stuck in self pity so long. I look for humor everywhere and it rarely lets me down. I found keeping in tune with nature has helped me tremendously. Death is not personal, it's not abandonment, it's the natural end of our leased existence. Make the best of it. Looking backwards too much I fail to steer where I want to be. Stay in the now, aim ahead.

Retired, in a similar story to your glass- a buddhist monk was being followed by a student begging for help, claiming his problems were like a monkey on his back and would not let him go.
The monk, exasperated by the student, suddenly bolted away from him. He took a flying leap at a tree tightly wrapping all his limbs around the trunk and screamed...
'help! this tree will NOT let me go!'
The predictable end of buddhist stories; the student went back to his studies humbled.
namaste

[David Kennedy]

If we are not going forward...we are going backward...and its more fun to be happy than to be sad...we have those choices within us...

Charlie Jones once said that if you are determined to be miserable...learn to like it.

[citybilly]

Great wisdom here folks. Thank you. I'm reminded of, years ago, hearing for the first time, the Dylan lyrics "he not busy being born, is busy dyin' ", and that stuck with me. I kicked that around for a long time, and i started realizing that there are lessons in every challenge. One particular challenge was getting the best of me, when I suddenly recognized how I was effectively asking for it, by picking up the phone and dialing it.. I was in effect buying a ticket on my own personal hell ride. I was able to stop doing that, and the person who was so good at pushing my buttons and upsetting me, was no longer able to do that. What power, to just realize that I don't have to buy into other people's problems. Then, I also became aware of the power of thoughts. Your subconscious has the power to make you a king, or a worthless piece of poop, depending on what you tell it to do . But I haven't mastered this one yet. I am a work in progress.

[Future Trooper]

thank you everyone for taking the time to share your information!

[Future Trooper]

i guess i should have posted this earlier but i apologize to the people that have been offened by this thread i never intended to be offensive i was just asking a few questions and then this thread took a ride of it's own without me being able to control it.

[NOVAmtneer82]

well that was because some of the generalizations you made throughout the thread were indeed offensive....people then responded accordingly.