West Virginia Jokes (Union: lawyer, work, property)

[David Kennedy]

We can do that without meaness...Those outside WV do it because of their ignorance and their meanness...

[Lone Star Rebel]

Originally Posted by David Kennedy

We can do that without meaness...Those outside WV do it because of their ignorance and their meanness...

Another valid point!

[harborlady]

Originally Posted by David Kennedy

We can do that without meaness...Those outside WV do it because of their ignorance and their meanness...

they do it for their own need to feel taller than ANYBODY. its not about you, silly, its about THEM!

See?

[David Kennedy]

Hasn't it always been that way?

[Lone Star Rebel]

OK, this has always been one of my favorites and I'm sorry but... it has nothing to do with West Virginia. I just cain't do it.

The Cowboy & the Cathedral

This cowboy had been riding the range for months now when he came upon a beautiful site on the horizon. There all glistening in the morning sunrise was the most beautiful church he had ever laid eyes on. He thought about it for a moment and realized he hadn't been in church in quite some time and felt the need to attend.

As he approached the church, he could see the big golden spirals reaching to the Heavens and the massive gold cross on the center steeple and just couldn't believe his eyes. What a magnificent church he thought to himself.

Being on the range for months at a time and not having a bath in a while, he was somewhat embarrassed to enter the church. He remembered what his mother always told him as a boy about God accepting us just the way we are and he dusted himself off as best he could and through the doors he went.

He found a seat near the end row and parked his dusty self down to hear the long awaited sermon he had missed for so long. The folks were all dressed in their finest "Sunday go to Meeting" clothes with all their jewelry sparkling like thousands of tiny beacons and then he noticed, the folks were whispering among themselves and moving to other seats away from the old cowboy.

After the service ended, all the church folks lined up to shake hands with the Minister as they were leaving as usual. When the old cowboy got his turn to greet the Minister, the Minister asked the old cowboy if this has been his first visit to their wonderful Cathedral. The proud cowboy stated that it was indeed his first visit and that he enjoyed it so much, he would definitely return the next Sunday.

When the Minister heard this, he made a suggestion to the old cowboy by recommending he might wish to pray to the Lord about his attire before attending church next Sunday. The cowboy thought the request somewhat odd but, agreed that he would do so before attending next Sunday's meeting.

The following Sunday came and there sat the old cowboy in the last row again just as he did the prior Sunday. Once again he was covered in trail dust and smelling of cattle & sweat but, enjoyed the sermon just as much as he did the Sunday before.

Once again as everyone lined up to greet the Minister, the time came for the old cowboy to greet him as well. The Minister looked at the old cowboy and asked; "I thought we had agreed that you would pray to the Lord about what you should wear when attending our fine Cathedral"? The cowboy looked at the Minister and stated; "Yes Sir, I know we agreed and I did exactly what you asked of me". "Well," asked the Minister; "what was the answer you received when you prayed to the Lord"? The cowboy stood proud, placing his hat upon his head and said; "The Good Lord told me He had no idea what I should wear because He has never been to this church".

[harborlady]

LOL rebs, the way new yorkers told that joke, a homeless guy was sitting on the steps to the cathedral, and god sat beside him and said- don't feel bad, they won't have me in there either.
petty judgements and inhumane attitudes aren't limited to any town, state or country.

[Lone Star Rebel]

HarborLady, yes... I have heard several versions of the same joke but I just love the cowboy version personally, lol. I told the joke to a cowboy preacher one day and I thought he would faint! ROFLMAO!!!

[harborlady]

Originally Posted by GottaHerdOn

people in the United States actually continually think people in WV are actually like the people in the jokes.. I can take a joke as easy as the next guy. But its like picking on a cripled kid.

Q: will this win me grace and favor on the highway once I'm sporting my fancy new West Virginia license plates? Maybe they'll fear me more, given the defect of nature they think I am?

[Threerun]

Reminds me of this one:

An old man and his dog were walking down this dirt road with fences on both sides, they came to a gate in the fence and looked in, it was nice - grassy, woody areas, just what a ‘huntin’ dog and man would like, but, it had a sign saying ‘no trespassing’ so they walked on.

They came to a beautiful gate with a person in white robes standing there. “Welcome to Heaven” he said. The old man was happy and started in with his dog following him. The gatekeeper stopped him.

“Dogs aren’t allowed, I’m sorry but he can’t come with you.”

“What kind of Heaven won’t allow dogs? If he can’t come in, then I will stay out with him. He’s been my faithful companion all his life, I can’t desert him now.“

“Suit yourself, but I have to warn you, the Devil’s on this road and he’ll try to sweet talk you into his area, he’ll promise you anything but the dog can’t go there either. If you won’t leave the dog, you’ll spend Eternity on this road “

So the old man and dog went on. They came to a rundown fence with a gap in it, no gate, just a hole. Another old man was inside.

“Scuse me Sir, my dog and I are getting mighty tired, mind if we come in and sit in the shade for awhile?”

“Of course, there’s a cold water well with a pump under the tree, and a cup hanging on the hook. Make yourselves comfortable “

“You’re sure my dog can come in? The man down the road said dogs weren’t allowed anywhere.”

“Would you come in if you had to leave the dog?”

“No sir, that’s why I didn’t go to Heaven, he said the dog couldn’t come in. We’ll be spending Eternity on this road, and a glass of cold water and some shade would be mighty fine right about now. But, I won’t come in if my buddy here can’t come too, and that’s final. “

The man smiled a big smile and said “Welcome to Heaven.”

“You mean this is Heaven? Dogs ARE allowed? How come that fellow down the road said they weren’t?”

“That was the Devil and he gets all the people who are willing to give up a life long companion for a comfortable place to stay. They soon find out their mistake but then it’s too late. The dogs come here, the fickle people stay there. GOD wouldn’t allow dogs to be banned from Heaven. After all, HE created them to be man’s companions in life, why would he separate them in death?”

[David Kennedy]

I saw that episode of the 'Twilight Zone' when I was a kid...Rod Serling where are you.