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Old 12-15-2012, 08:29 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,072 posts, read 1,755,825 times
Reputation: 437

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Me and my wife are on the verge of a divorce and I had a few questions. Is there any way to get a divorce without the courts involvement? We want to deal with the child support and visitation issues ourselves...she doesn't want child support but wants me to pay for what the kids need each month instead of giving her money...visitation is the same we would rather set up our own time to come see the kids etc...
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Old 12-16-2012, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Western Pennsylvania
2,429 posts, read 7,235,461 times
Reputation: 830
There are people with many occupations in this forum... pharmacists, engineers, teachers, retirees, housewives, authors, etc. But to the best of my knowledge, no one is a lawyer. And what you ask is a legal question.

My layman's guess is that, since marriage is a civil contract endorsed by the state and recorded in the courthouse, even if you have 100% agreement on all issues, you'll need to get a judge to approve it. I'm not sure if WV is a no-fault state. And since the devil is in the details, hiring a lawyer would be a very good idea. For example, there can be major tax consequences to you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse with regards to paying child support vs alimony.
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Old 12-16-2012, 08:47 AM
 
Location: West Virginia
13,926 posts, read 39,288,552 times
Reputation: 10257
YES! Go to the Court house & Fill out forms! File them Your DIVORCED! Several friends have do this over the yrs.
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Old 12-16-2012, 11:03 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,072 posts, read 1,755,825 times
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I know we can do it ourselves. I was curious about the Child Support and Visitation thing. We may choose to leave the kids out of the divorce part of it and just handle that ourselves.I am not sure yet.
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Old 12-16-2012, 04:05 PM
 
Location: West Virginia
13,926 posts, read 39,288,552 times
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Family Court is where the Judges decide suport. BUT Why would you Not suport the kids?
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Old 12-16-2012, 07:42 PM
 
Location: West Virginia
515 posts, read 778,170 times
Reputation: 1238
Wow, to me this is a no brainer. So you don't want the courts to get involved, just stay married and live separate until the kids leave home for college or whatever. You can do your part and she can do her's and it's probably going to be easier on the kids. Who knows, the separation may be just what your marriage needs. I guess I might not be the one to advise you though since I just celebrated my 40th anniversary with my high school sweetheart. Yeah, the D word has come up a few times over the years but we were always able to work it out. Good Luck to you and especially to the kids.
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Old 12-16-2012, 08:07 PM
 
1,834 posts, read 2,694,961 times
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Print out the family laws in your state. They have already decided what they think is the norm. The two of you agree on what you want to do and ask a local lawyer to write it up and file.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:40 PM
 
Location: West Virginia
13,926 posts, read 39,288,552 times
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You dont need a lawyer to write it up. Just get the formes from the CourtHoues in your area & File. As for the Kids Suport them they are YOURS! You shouldnt need a court judge to Tell you Force you to do whats right by your kids! But If you dont care for them She can take you to Court...Family Court! Kinda like saying to the Kids you dont care for them either! So Suport them!! Surely your & your wife [soon to be ex] can figure that out & when to see them. Your Words tell me you dont want them living with you. Pitty.... So all the jusdge will do is set suport amount & times. Why you need a judge to Order you to do what you know is right. Put the agreement in Writing get it noterized & pay by check!
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Old 12-17-2012, 05:02 AM
 
Location: Charles Town, WV
423 posts, read 1,237,337 times
Reputation: 245
Katie - I don't think that the OP said he wouldn't support his kids ..... he said "she doesn't want child support but wants me to pay for what the kids need each month instead of giving her money". Nor does it appear that he is looking to limit either his or his wife's ability to spend time with their kids, ..... "we would rather set up our own time to come see the kids".

I agree with your overall thoughts regarding responsibility and child support.
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Old 12-17-2012, 02:37 PM
 
Location: West Virginia
13,926 posts, read 39,288,552 times
Reputation: 10257
IF she doent want child suport then They should set up College funds for the kids. IF the State gets a hold of deciding they Will make him pay. Goin into a College fund IS him paying just her deciding she dont want it. I Know sounds confusing LOL OK My gf DD got divorced she didnt want a thing from her ex... BUT He wanted proof he was suporting the child so they put it into an education fund. She has a Well Paying Gov job DDad was ret military. The boy went with dad in summertime she had him the rest of the time... Several states apart. Kid is in College now.
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