U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > New York > Westchester County
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-09-2011, 01:09 PM
 
Location: East Millcreek
2,406 posts, read 5,245,779 times
Reputation: 2691

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest_Hills_Daddy View Post
Why are they inescapable? If half your classmates load up on weekend soccer, dance and yoga, or if the kid riding the bus with you has a new ipad, why should you do the same? You don't have to, just mind your own business and let the others mess up their own lives if they want.
Baloney. That's glib and easy to say as an adult. But it's much harder as an adolescent struggling with all their usual fears and insecurities.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-09-2011, 01:56 PM
 
6,993 posts, read 9,532,062 times
Reputation: 2957
/\/\

Read the posts. It's the adults (ie parents) who make the decisions, not the kids. Nobody is forcing you to load your kid up on after schools and weekends, on gizmos and so on. If you don't do it, you and your kid won't feel "pressure".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-09-2011, 05:15 PM
 
Location: East Millcreek
2,406 posts, read 5,245,779 times
Reputation: 2691
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest_Hills_Daddy View Post
/\/\

Read the posts. It's the adults (ie parents) who make the decisions, not the kids. Nobody is forcing you to load your kid up on after schools and weekends, on gizmos and so on. If you don't do it, you and your kid won't feel "pressure".
I read the posts and I read your post. You seriously think that pressures the KID feels from their peers will go away if the parents simply don't indulge them? Ask the less affluent kids how well that works.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-09-2011, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Bellevue, WA
1,487 posts, read 3,747,097 times
Reputation: 563
It's not even so much the rampant materialism that pervades districts like Chappaqua, Bronxville, Rye, Scarsdale and others (although yes, it does, and hey, if someone else wants to turn their kid into a spoiled brat, it's their kid to wreck, not mine). Instead, it is the sense that it is absolutely unacceptable to be anything other than bound for an Ivy League college, with a less than perfect SAT score. Well guess what? The world is full of C students - heck, many are running Fortune 500 companies.

You can't make an average kid turn into a straight A student taking AP classes without a heck of a lot of collateral damage, and districts like these are literally making kids sick. If you haven't already, you should see "The Race to Nowhere." It is a pretty accurate depiction of what is going on in many highly competitive districts.

It really boils down to what values you most embrace as a parent. If achievement is your top priority, you'll probably love it in the more competitive districts. But if you already know that you don't buy into the whole "Tiger Mom" debate, I personally think that there are districts out there that might suit you better.

I mean, hey, if I had to have any pressure on my kids there are worse things that having pressure to do well, but still, every kid has their limits.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-10-2011, 04:43 AM
 
6,993 posts, read 9,532,062 times
Reputation: 2957
Quote:
Originally Posted by kletter1mann View Post
I read the posts and I read your post. You seriously think that pressures the KID feels from their peers will go away if the parents simply don't indulge them? Ask the less affluent kids how well that works.
Yes! Are parents today so soft that they can't hold the line?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-10-2011, 05:03 AM
 
6,993 posts, read 9,532,062 times
Reputation: 2957
Quote:
Originally Posted by jjinla View Post
You can't make an average kid turn into a straight A student taking AP classes without a heck of a lot of collateral damage, and districts like these are literally making kids sick. If you haven't already, you should see "The Race to Nowhere." It is a pretty accurate depiction of what is going on in many highly competitive districts.

It really boils down to what values you most embrace as a parent. If achievement is your top priority, you'll probably love it in the more competitive districts. But if you already know that you don't buy into the whole "Tiger Mom" debate, I personally think that there are districts out there that might suit you better.
I don't believe there are such things as competitive districts. Case in point, a B-student won't get expelled from school, nor will he be shut out of middle or high school. And no school district, not even the wealthiest, forces kids to take AP classes that they can't hack out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-13-2011, 12:12 PM
 
64 posts, read 167,813 times
Reputation: 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest_Hills_Daddy View Post
Yes! Are parents today so soft that they can't hold the line?
I CAN hold the line. But many parents in the 'pressure cooker' districts choose not to. So putting my child - who is not going to get the gizmos and 500 activities - into one of those districts does not make sense. There are plenty of other districts here where my kids can get a good education and not have the 'pressure'.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-13-2011, 01:45 PM
 
6,993 posts, read 9,532,062 times
Reputation: 2957
Kathy,

Why wouldn't it make sense? Those schools have teachers, classrooms and textbooks, right? That's what your kid is going to school for.

What other parents choose to do with thier own kids - as long as its not illegal - should be none of your concern, nor should it be any concern to your own kids.

If you can really hold the line as you say, then there won't be any pressure no matter what school in Westchester your kids attend.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-14-2011, 06:26 PM
 
Location: East Millcreek
2,406 posts, read 5,245,779 times
Reputation: 2691
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest_Hills_Daddy View Post
Kathy,

Why wouldn't it make sense? Those schools have teachers, classrooms and textbooks, right? That's what your kid is going to school for.

What other parents choose to do with thier own kids - as long as its not illegal - should be none of your concern, nor should it be any concern to your own kids.

If you can really hold the line as you say, then there won't be any pressure no matter what school in Westchester your kids attend.
You seem to be willfully oblivious to the peer pressure that other kids can and do place on each other. To believe that a child will be immune if only their parent just resists is a very iffy proposition. Some may, and god bless 'em. However, others won't, and they'll feel like the underdogs or outcasts. Makes me wonder if you actually have kids or observe them at all.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-14-2011, 09:42 PM
 
6,993 posts, read 9,532,062 times
Reputation: 2957
Keep on wondering, kletter. A bucketload of extracurricular activities is not something that a child typically asks for; it's usually the parents who impose this.

Personal gadgets and accessories, maybe. But learn to say "no". How can parents teach their kids to just say "no" to drugs and intercourse when they themselves cannot say "no" to something as simple as "can I have an ipad because the kid who sits next to me in the bus has one"?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:



Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > New York > Westchester County
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top