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Old 06-16-2012, 09:19 PM
 
431 posts, read 956,515 times
Reputation: 207

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Where does the original poster currently live?
This is a very important point.

Everyone's barking up the wrong tree.
You need to get a different job.

Move to NYC and commute, whatever the cost.
Inwood or UWS will work.
Pay for a parking spot.
Live in a dumpster or van by the river, if need be.
If you can't pull it off, then get a new job.
Seriously.

Living in 914 is the wrong move, friend.

Your peer group is in NYC. Go there.
You're either IN the city, or you're not.
Live in White Plains or Yonkers, and you might as well be living in Albany.
Oh, and NYC women will NOT date you. They will look at you like you're a redneck from Wisconsin.
So, don't fool yourself. There is nothing for you here but getting old and stale.

Dating scene in 914 is nonexistent, unless you want to be stuck dating au pairs, cougars, and college students.
And, your only outlet of meeting new people is basically match.com. Yea, enjoy that ****show.

Also, visiting NYC on weekends will get very stale, very fast.
If you're in your 30s, you will not have the energy to go to NYC with any regularity.
Compound this in the winter. So, don't fool yourself.

The only people in your age group who live in 914 are people who grew up here and have a
provincial Jersey Shore/townie attitude (same friends from elementary school on their weekly softball team) or are married with kids.
You don't fit into either group.

You've been warned. Don't waste away on the isolation of suburbia.
But, if you like to be alone, then by all means, save your money and live in 914.
It's a perfectly clean and easy place to live, but your social life will be nonexistent.

Last edited by ShouldHaveLeft914; 06-16-2012 at 10:42 PM..
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:12 AM
 
34 posts, read 81,572 times
Reputation: 16
I'm not too worried about being banned from NYC women who care about my address, i've lived all over the world, in some of the most sought after cities, so if that's what they're into, I'll pass.

Getting a different job? Not an option. I work in a very niche field (litigation consulting) and am working for a great company, with a great salary and amazing opportunity - though I do appreciate the thoughts

I moving to NYC after living in DC and Dallas in the States and SE Asia (Phnom Pehn, Cambodia, Bangkok) and Sydney recently.

One of my major concerns was being in suburbia in my situation (30s, single, professional) and not being stimulated and slowly falling into that type of lifestyle (which isn't me), but at the same time, living in the "city" costs a LOT more, but those costs come with access and a lifestyle, which is what I'm looking for.

The balance is key for me and as I can tell, this will be difficult, but not entirely impossible here

I see your name is ShouldHaveLeft914, so I have to ask, why are YOU still there?
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Minneapolis, MN
366 posts, read 505,342 times
Reputation: 311
DMJury, seriously, don't listen to that guy. There ARE single women in Westchester. We're not all married. I belong to a few Meetup.com groups for twenty and thirtysomethings, and there are definitely single women who live in the area, namely because, like you, they work in Westchester. It's harder, but hardly impossible.

Although I love NYC and I wish I could live there, it does not make sense. Living in a place that doesn't make sense will only make you resentful. Especially if you work long hours... you'll be wondering why you're spending a fortune living in a place when you're never there!
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Old 06-18-2012, 03:32 PM
 
431 posts, read 956,515 times
Reputation: 207
Well, if you've loved in cool cities before this will be a change, to say the least.
Maybe you need a few years of no dating, and daily solitude after work.
In suburbia, you might go an entire month and not see even one single, attractive woman.
I'm not saying there not out there, it's just that you'll NEVER cross paths with them.
Let us know how you adjust to that.
Oh, and meetup groups are even more lame than online dating.
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Old 06-18-2012, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Minneapolis, MN
366 posts, read 505,342 times
Reputation: 311
But spending your evenings leaving snarky messages on a message board about relocating is totally cool? About an area that you loathe but have not yet left? Instead of wasting your time griping and complaining, why don't you do something productive and look for a new job somewhere else?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShouldHaveLeft914 View Post
Well, if you've loved in cool cities before this will be a change, to say the least.
Maybe you need a few years of no dating, and daily solitude after work.
In suburbia, you might go an entire month and not see even one single, attractive woman.
I'm not saying there not out there, it's just that you'll NEVER cross paths with them.
Let us know how you adjust to that.
Oh, and meetup groups are even more lame than online dating.
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Old 06-18-2012, 08:49 PM
 
34 posts, read 81,572 times
Reputation: 16
Place nicely, everyone, though Justabitoff does make some good points....
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Old 06-19-2012, 04:19 AM
 
431 posts, read 956,515 times
Reputation: 207
This is not about me, but if you must know I am married. I also have family in the area, and prefer not to commute from NY.
Owning a car in NYC is really a double whammy, and I don't make $250k anymore.

So this works for me. All the advice I have given holds water, no matter how "unpleasant" it may be.

It won't kill DMJury to live in suburbia for a year, and then move to the city once he sees he has no social life (or rather, socializing takes a big effort that gets tiresome fast). Please keep this thread updated.
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Old 06-19-2012, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Minneapolis, MN
366 posts, read 505,342 times
Reputation: 311
No social life is a bit of an overstatement, although I agree that for a single guy it will be harder. But hardly impossible. I think it's just as hard to meet people with NYC because everyone is so damn busy with work and a million social commitments. I lived there for 2 years and I barely saw my roommates... and I lived with them!

Of course, from the sounds of it, DMJury already has friends in NYC so he's not making them. Maintaining friendships is a lot easier than making them, so he has that going for him. But if he didn't know anyone in NYC, then I would say it's kind of awash when it comes to socializing.
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Old 06-19-2012, 06:13 PM
 
431 posts, read 956,515 times
Reputation: 207
Saying it's just as hard to meet people in NYC is the most asinine thing I've ever read. You can literally speak to a new person every day in NYC. You can go an entire year and not speak to a single person in suburbia!

He will find it very tiresome to commute to visit his friends. Eventually, he will stop, and his friends will stop calling him as well.

DMJury, where do you currently live?
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Old 06-19-2012, 06:23 PM
 
Location: Minneapolis, MN
366 posts, read 505,342 times
Reputation: 311
Um, how do you define friends? Do you even have friends? Talking to a random stranger does not equal friendship. I didn't mean it's hard to meet people, I said it's hard to make friends. Meeting people and developing friendships are TWO wholly separate thing. Of course, I am a girl, and you are a guy so maybe this is some kind of guy thing.

This is suburbia, not prison. If you're going a whole year without speaking to someone, I think you are the one with the problem. Seriously, I think you should consider moving. You sound miserable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShouldHaveLeft914 View Post
Saying it's just as hard to meet people in NYC is the most asinine thing I've ever read. You can literally speak to a new person every day in NYC. You can go an entire year and not speak to a single person in suburbia!

He will find it very tiresome to commute to visit his friends. Eventually, he will stop, and his friends will stop calling him as well.

DMJury, where do you currently live?
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