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Old 01-05-2014, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Westchester, NY
148 posts, read 452,867 times
Reputation: 33

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Start a hobby...travel..mingle at coffee shops..write a book..create something! We are you so needy to meet others ..without kids no less? What are your social goals? This stirs my curiosity to no end, as I see a huge demand in population having this oblivion desire to obtain dozens of friends upon friends. "The more friends I have the cooler I appear to others, and the happier I am". Is that really the end game?

Everyone I met were through typical social means (bars, school, parties, family friends..etc..), professional and personal. I never had any issues with this, nor wasn't dependent on "pet" owner camaraderie to make new friends. Never heard of that!

Man ...the things I would do if I didn't have kids. Life is short..enjoy it!!
Good Luck!
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Old 01-05-2014, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Ossining, NY
87 posts, read 166,935 times
Reputation: 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoowanna View Post
I see a huge demand in population having this oblivion desire to obtain dozens of friends upon friends. "The more friends I have the cooler I appear to others, and the happier I am". Is that really the end game?
Really? The OP does not at all strike me as someone seeking to pad their friend count to look cool.

I think it can be tough when you move to a new community at an age where others already have established networks and are not so much looking to socialize. At a certain age, the idea of spending a lot of time at bars and parties loses its appeal, and family friends, friends of friends, etc. may not be an option if you are a new arrival to the area. Add to this that the "normal social means" for many in their 30s/40s means making friends with other parents through your children and I can see where someone might get frustrated. I have kids so not an issue but I have certainly heard this complaint from others of that age.

Aside from that...I agree with your first point...be proactive about your interests and finding others who share them. I think this is in line with the meetup idea that many suggested. Other ideas: join a sports team, take a class, etc, etc. And yes, for some that interest can be their pets. I was shocked when I got my dog (pre-children) how I suddenly knew everyone in my neighborhood. This can be good or bad depending on your personality, but it is what tends to happen...provided you actually take the dog walking.
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Old 01-05-2014, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Westchester, NY
148 posts, read 452,867 times
Reputation: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by WardEq View Post
Really? The OP does not at all strike me as someone seeking to pad their friend count to look cool.
What about the whole Facebook craze? Remember the, "how many friends do you have" era? "She has 500, so she must be popular"!! Meanwhile she does't know 3/4 of these friends since they are from distant connections.

I think it's the same concept offline. Almost like the high school thing, hence the introverts were less popular no matter how you slice it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by WardEq View Post
This can be good or bad depending on your personality, but it is what tends to happen...provided you actually take the dog walking.
True, starting up a whimsical conversation about which breed dog you own could be mildly interesting to some extent, yet I think this falls into the class of small talk, and certainly doesn't warrant grounds for a new friendship. Yet this could be the new status quo, which may go beyond a standard conversation about sports etc.. Can't stand those cheap discussions.
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Old 01-05-2014, 07:44 PM
 
431 posts, read 956,006 times
Reputation: 207
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoowanna View Post
What about the whole Facebook craze? Remember the, "how many friends do you have" era? "She has 500, so she must be popular"!! Meanwhile she does't know 3/4 of these friends since they are from distant connections.
.
You sound like a teen parenting magazine from 2008.
Get into 2014.

Facebook Is Dead And Buried To Teens, Says EU Study
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Old 01-06-2014, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Westchester, NY
148 posts, read 452,867 times
Reputation: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShouldHaveLeft914 View Post
You sound like a teen parenting magazine from 2008.
Get into 2014.

Facebook Is Dead And Buried To Teens, Says EU Study
Oh I see..so FB isn't cool anymore? Aw-Shucks! I guess I'll have to play some more Swapper until another dumb ass figures out another sharing platform of pointless comments!
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Old 01-06-2014, 10:39 AM
 
9 posts, read 12,929 times
Reputation: 12
That's a good question, We are childless and have lived in Scarsdale for nearly 20 years and the truth is - its just not easy meeting people here without being involved in some type of kid thing.

I have met some good people through my Church, Motorcycle Riding Group, Ski Club, and the Golf Course. It's a little easier if you have common interest and a group setting where you can go and participate in an activity. I don't do the Bar scene, and dog walking and the Gym just leads to those superficial " hey, how's it going" conversations that really don't ever seem to go anywhere.

Meetup has some interesting groups as well, but honestly it seemed like more of a hookup kind of deal and that wasn't what I was looking for.

Good luck, keep trying and you will make some friends, but it does seem like most of the people's lives here revolve around their children and if you don't have them, it's just not easy to listen to that for long! I mean how long can you hear about little Harold's playdate or the Baybay ( as Elaine said in that Seinfeld Episode).
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Old 01-12-2014, 01:43 PM
 
431 posts, read 956,006 times
Reputation: 207
How did you end up in Scarsdale 20 years ago?
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Old 01-12-2014, 04:08 PM
 
9 posts, read 12,929 times
Reputation: 12
I worked in the area and picked up a smaller home in the Edgewood section for a good price. Things were selling pretty low back in 94. No particular reason, it was just the right house at the time, but it never really turned out to be the right Town for us...
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Old 01-13-2014, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Chicago
5,559 posts, read 3,659,661 times
Reputation: 2181
Its tough meeting couples. Most of Meetup is geared towards singles looking to meet each other. Some of the restaurant groups may attract couples. I think the best bet is to try out classes where other couples might join. Dancing and tennis may be a couple of ideas. Dancing is also largely for singles but you might meet other couples, especially if the classes are geared toward couples who want to learn to dance. Travel meetups may also attract couples.
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Old 01-15-2014, 01:38 PM
 
44 posts, read 161,290 times
Reputation: 25
Sur La Table has "Date Night" classes for couples and I've gone to two of them. Maybe 20 people in a room with an instructor, and you get paired off with another couple to share the same cooking tools. It's fun for you and you meet new people.
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