Confused Mom (Yonkers, Eastchester, Ardsley: new home, buy, school district)

[Mernie]

I need help. Dont know what school system or area is the best for my son who is 8 years old with ADD. We tried a parochial school considered one of the best is Westchester and that was a horrible experience. Now in the Yonkers school system and that is also a big disappointment. I will move or do tuition buy in if I have to. Any experienced parents?? Any private or other parochial schools ?? I know I am not the only parent with these concerns or issues?? Please I dont know what is the next step for my wonderful son who is trying really hard and I want the best for his future..

[sallyg]

Where in Westchester do you live? Do you prefer a private school/public school?

[jyyanks]

Parochial school is not a good place to send a child with ADD. They do not have the funds, the services or the personnel available to deal with the kids. Private school can be very expensive. I think that you would be better off moving to a district with a good special ed program and sending your son to public school.

[Mernie]

Right now we just built a large and beautiful new home. We are in the Yonkers school district. As I mentioned before he was in parochial and we never thought we would have to place him in public or we would have never built in Yonkers. But now what??? Well I would love Parochial because I really like the atmosphere but I have to remember what they are lacking. What could be my happy medium.??

[jyyanks]

I don't think there is a happy medium. It looks like what might be best for your child is to sell you house in Yonkers and get a home in a district that can help your son. You may be giving up a big beautiful new home but you will be gaining peace of mind and giving your son the help he needs.

Besides, if you buy in an area with a good school district, you will save a lot of $$ in tuition later on. Tuition at Iona Prep is about $14K, and I think Fordham Prep is now up to $20K. By the time your son reaches highschool, you will be paying through the nose in tuition (not to mention that Yonkers tax is not cheap).

Would you consider Ardsley? My friends has a son with ADD and they moved him from Yonkers to Ardsley so that he could get the help he needed. He has his own private aide and is really thriving.

My other friend has a daughter with ADHD in the Ardsley school district. She does not have a private aide but is in a class which has 2 teachers and an aide. The 2nd teacher works with the kids in the class who need extra help. She also gets tutored after school and she is also doing well.

I don't know about about other districts' special ed programs but I know Ardsley has an excellent one. Good Luck.

[westchester]

I also agree with jyjanks that you may have to think about moving........And Ardsley is definitely ONE of the areas I would look @................If you have the patience and you want to stay in Yonkers you can Sue Yonkers and make them pay to send your Child to another School, district if you can prove they do not have the services you need, for your child..............I will definitely tell you that you are not going to find what your are looking for in a parochial School....they just do not have the money .........If you have any ? about Yonkers paying for your son to goto another district, you may PM and I will find out how my friend went about it....His son is being sent to Eastchester and Yonkers is paying for it Good Luck.......And remember that your nice new home is worth nothing if your son is not Happy and he is not being afforded every opportunity every other child is.........

[sallyg]

Is your son in a parochial school in Yonkers now? Has he already been evaluated by Yonkers Board of Ed? Yonkers will most likely give him a para for the school day or SEIT services for a good portion of the day so he can stay in parachial schools. I have been a special ed evaluator in Westchester County and Yonkers has excellent chairpersons for special ed depts. They are fair and thorough w each student's case. Your son is still entitled to all services, irregardless of where he attends school, since you pay Yonkers taxes. It will be very difficult to have Yonkers pay for another district- that is more common with children w autism-ie.ABA programs. You could also consider paying tuition to a district as a non-resident. I think Ardsley is somewhere around $15k a year. good luck!

[csklint]

As I'm sure Marnie knows, ADD/ADHD is not a 'learning disability' - it's not special ed. ADHD kids can be (and are) just as bright as other kids, they can be in the GT track and everything. They really need a flexible teaching style that allows them the flexibility to move a bit and take a break if they need.

Marnie - in my experience (I'm in education, but no kids yet), parochial schools are the worst environment for these kids, because the teaching style is SO inflexible. You can teach him religion outside of school.

Your best bet is a good independent school that can challenge your son while allowing him the classroom environment he needs. My concern with public is that ADHD kids get grouped in with kids who don't have the academic skills - the special ed classes. You may also look into some of the medications that can really help kids to focus (and PLEASE don't dismiss this immediately if you don't believe in meds for kids, because for the right child, they can be SO much happier and less frustrated in school if you find the right med/dosage).

Good luck!

[Mernie]

Thank you for your advise everyone. Thank you to csklint for pointing out that ADD is not and LD and that is exactly right , he does need that flexibility. What is GT track?? So where doI find this good independent school??

[csklint]

GT is talented and gifted - also sometimes called TAG - that's what it's called down here in the DC area (we're moving to westchester). The challenge with ADD/ADHD kids is that they are oftentimes extremely bright and capable, but need teachers who are a bit more accommodating.

You can go to www.nais.org (national association of independent schools) to research schools in your area and talk them about their programs. I don't think you need to rule out public completely, but you should just make sure you do as much research as you can and talk to as many school counselors as possible to find out who really accommodates ADHD without dumbing down curriculum.

(Two things to recommend - these kids usually have a really hard time organizing themselves - lost homework, messy handwriting - and a tutor called an academic coach can be a big help in working with kids to find strategies they understand for organization. Also - you might want to get him started with keyboard practice, so as the classes get more and more academic, he'll be able to take notes much more efficiently on a laptop.)

Good luck!